Seperate But The Same
by kt2785
Summary: Sawyer and Kate are both messed up, in different ways.  This is AU and they have met before the crash. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: AU Sawyer and Kate met before the crash. She was running and he was getting ready for a con. Cassidy never happened. **

Kate had been driving for 4 hours straight. After she went to see her mom, she drove. She was going to see her dad. No, she had just killed her dad...she was going to see the man who pretended to be her dad for 24 years. She saw a bar in the middle of no where. It was open. She was exhausted. It was almost 3 in the morning, but she didn't care...she needed a drink.

Sawyer hadn't had a job in almost 3 months. He desperately needed money, and a nice hot chick in his bed. He was sitting at the end of a bar just drinking. He didn't expect to have any prospects at this dump of a bar, but no sooner did he convince himself of this, did a tired looking, but pretty brunette walk through the door. She sat on the opposite end of the bar.

Kate averted her eyes from the bartender as he handed her a shot of tequilla. She downed the shot and motioned for another one.

"You sure?" the bartender asked.

"Just because I'm a girl it don't mean I don't know how to drink," she told him. He chuckled and handed her another shot. From a distance Sawyer watched her. She was intriguing. He headed over to her.

"This seat taken?" he asked. He sat down without waiting for an answer. "What are you drinkin' darling?"

"Tequilla," she answered shortly. "And don't call me darling."

"Sorry Freckles," he stated. "I'll have what the lady's having."

The bartender gave Sawyer a knowing smile and handed him the bottle. Sawyer continued to watch Kate. She didn't look at him or talk to him. He poured them each a shot and handed one to Kate.

"No thanks," she mumbled. "I don't need your liquor."

"Seems to me Freckles that it's yours," he said. "I'm just payin'."

"You really can't take no for an answer can you?" she asked. "And why are you calling me Freckles."

"To answer your first question, no...if I took no for an answer every time anyone told me no, I would never get anywhere in life," he replied. "And as for your second question, I would think a pretty girl...'scuse me woman, like you would be able to figure out why I'm callin' you freckles. Now...how 'bout makin' a lonely man feel good and take the drink I'm payin' for."

"Fine," she took the shot from him, and before she could drink it he stopped her. "What are you doing?"

"I wanna play a game with you," he whispered.

"I don't play games," she shook her head, pushed the shot away from her and stood up.

"Wait," he followed her. "It's simple...I ask you a question, and if you don't want to answer it then you drink."

"What?" she asked.

"Sit down," he said quietly. She did as she was told and sat back down.

"What's this game?" she asked.

"We start asking each other questions...and if we don't want to answer them, we take a shot. I call it reply and stay dry."

"Ok. Me first," she replied. "Why are you here?"

"Why am I here?" he asked.

"In this bar," she explained further.

"I'm here to meet a pretty lady," he told her. "How 'bout yourself?"

She smiled at him and opened her mouth, acting like she was going to answer him. Before she did, she took the shot and looked at him.

"You gonna ask me another one?" he asked.

"Nope," she answered. "That's all I wanted to know."

"Ok, well then I'll go next," he told her. "You married?"

"No," she whispered. "You?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Do you think I'd be in a bar at 3 in the morning if I were married?"

"Depends on your wife I guess," she said.

"What's your name?" he asked. She hesitated and then took a shot. "You don't want to tell me your name?"

"Not my real one," she shook her head. He stared at her and waited for her to answer. She hesitated again before telling him. "My name is Alice."

"Ok Alice," he said confused. "I don't really think that's your name."

"I just told you that it's not my name," she responded. "What tipped you off?"

"You runnin' from the cops?" he asked.

"What makes you say that?" she questioned.

"Because why else would you be so worried about telling me your name?"

"Maybe I don't meet strange men at bars," she told him. A slow song started to play on the juke box. Sawyer stared at Kate for another few seconds.

"Will you dance with me?" he asked. She took a shot and smirked at him. "Aw, come on Freckles...it's just a harmless dance."

"Ok," she whispered. He took her by the hands and led her to the middle of the floor. As they danced Sawyer began to run his hands over her body. She tensed up somewhat, only to become totally relaxed.

"I got one more question Freckles," he said into her ear. "Will you come home with me?"

She looked into his eyes and stopped dancing with him. She went over to the bar where the tequilla bottle was sitting. There was about 3 shots left in the bottom of the bottle. She lifted to her lips and drank it all.

"Let's go," she said

**A/N: OK so I'm lame..hah. I got the drinking game idea from a movie that I saw. It's actually a movie starring Josh Holloway. It's called Cold Heart. It's a horrible movie, but at the same time it's amazing. If you in anyway like Josh Holloway I'd recommend it. It's kind of scary, and he's completely creepy, but it's good. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sawyer and Kate begin to run. **

The next morning Kate felt Sawyer brush her hair off of her forehead. She opened her eyes and smiled slightly.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

"I bet you tell that to all the girls...women," she chuckled. She sat up and sighed deeply. He smiled at her, but didn't argue with her.

There was a loud pounding on the door. Kate stood up the rest of the way. She anxiously gathered her clothes, and noticed that Sawyer was doing the same thing.

"They're here for me," they both said in unison. "They're here for you?"

Kate didn't stop getting dressed, but Sawyer did. He stared at her and then back at the door.

"Are you runnin' from the cops?" he whispered.

"It's a long story," she sighed.

"Well I got time if you wanna ride somewhere," he replied.

"Are you running?" she asked.

"I was gonna head outta town," he murmured. "You wanna come with me."

Kate nodded and Sawyer went to the door.

"Can I help you sir?" Sawyer asked.

"We were wondering if you had any information. There was a rather serious crime committed last night, about 100 miles from here. Do you know a Katherine Austen?"

"No," he shook his head.

"Can we have a look inside?" he asked. Kate ran into the bathroom before the officer could come in, and Sawyer let him in.

"Who was that?" the second officer asked.

"Oh, my wife," he answered quickly. The officers looked around the room and then knocked on the door of the bathroom.

"One second," Kate's voice sounded.

"Open the door ma'am," he demanded.

"Hold on," she responded. Sawyer could tell the officer was getting anxious.

"Do you mind lettin' her do her business in peace?" Sawyer asked.

"Ma'am open the door," the officer said, ignoring Sawyer. Sawyer sighed. He didn't really care if this woman was captured, but she seemed pretty desperate...which made him interested.

Kate opened the door. Her hair was wrapped up in a towel and her face was covered in soap. Sawyer smirked. The girl was smart.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Maybe," he nodded. "Do you know a Ms. Katherine Austen?"

"No sir," she shook her head.

"Can I ask for an ID?" he asked.

"She lost her wallet," Sawyer chimed in.

"I don't have a driver's liscence anyway," Kate replied.

"You two are married?" the officer questioned.

"Newlyweds," Sawyer said. He pulled Kate toward him and put his arm around her waist.

"I don't see wedding rings," he said motioning to their fingers.

"We don't have enough money for them yet," Kate whispered.

"We will baby, I promise," Sawyer stated turning toward her and kissing her. She nodded and smiled. "That smile," he continued. "Would you gentlemen mind giving the lady and I some private time?"

He hadn't looked back at the officers. Kate and Sawyer had locked eyes, and they could both feel the heat and passion in just the look. The officer chuckled and nodded.

"I guess you really are newlyweds," he replied. "Sorry to have bothered you. Have a pleasant morning."

"We will," Sawyer whispered. The officers both left and Kate walked back into the bathroom to wash the soap off of her face. She felt Sawyer come up behind her as she bent over the sink. He put his hands on her waist and began to kiss her neck. She smirked, and turned around to face him.

"What are you trying to-" she began but was cut off by Sawyer's lips. She kissed him back, but then pushed him away.

"We have to go if we're gonna go," she told him. "They're gonna be back."

"Not for at least a couple hours," he growled into her ear. She sighed, and was pulled back into a kiss.

After spending too much time in the bed, Sawyer and Kate were finally on the road. Kate looked out the window and then back at Sawyer.

"Katherine, or Alice, whatever your name is," he began. "This ride comes with a price."

"What kind of price?" she asked.

"You have to tell me why you're running," he replied.

"Where's the bottle of tequilla when you need it?" she chuckled. "Cuz I'm not telling you."

"Don't you think it's the least you could do?" he asked.

"Hmm, how about I just do whatever you want me to?" she offered. "I think part of my payment was already fulfilled last night...and then again this morning.

"No," he chuckled. "Tell me, or you can walk."

"Ok, then pull over," she replied. He pulled over slowly and then took her by the arm before she could get out of the car. He ran his hand slowly, almost painfully slowly down her body. He pulled her toward him and kissed her.

"I don't want you to leave," he whispered. She breathed in deep.

"You tell me why you think the cops are after you, and I'll tell you why they're after me."

He didn't know why, but he felt as if he couldn't lie to her. All he wanted to do was tell her about his tortured past. Things he had never told anyone. He looked at her but didn't say anything.

"That's what I thought," she breathed. "Now let me go."

"I will tell you," he said. "Just not here. Not right now. I'll tell you tonight."

Kate turned away from him, but didn't open the door.

"Are you gonna drive?" she asked. He smiled at her and put the car into drive. He could feel Kate looking at him and continued to smirk.

**A/N: Please R & R**


	3. Chapter 3

Sawyer came to a stop at a hotel. It was about 12:00 at night. He reached over and put his hand on Kate's leg to wake her up. She had fallen asleep about an hour before. Kate flinched slightly and then opened her eyes.

"We here?" she asked.

"Yeah, we're here," he whispered.

They went into the hotel and Sawyer expertly told the front desk that they were Mr. and Mrs. Ford. Telling them that his wife's name was Alice. Kate smiled when Sawyer told them that her name was Alice. When they got into the room Kate headed for the bed immediately. She laid down and closed her eyes.

"Do you wanna tell me your secret Freckles?" Sawyer said into her ear. She flipped over to face him.

"I thought you were going to tell me first," she stated.

"Alright," he replied. "I'm a con man."

"What?" she asked.

"I'm a con man. I con gorgeous women out of their money," he told her.

"Well if you're trying to con me don't bother," she chuckled, not really believing him. "I don't have any money."

"I don't want your money darlin'," he began. "But it's your turn. Why are the police lookin' for a Katherine Ford?"

Without answering him she crawled on top of him and straddled him. She kissed his lips softly.

"Hey, no fair," he said. "You gotta tell me. I told you."

She still ignored him and kissed him again. She reached her hand toward the top of his jeans. She was already learning how to drive him crazy. He gave up on trying to get her to tell him what her secret was. He tore off her shirt, litterally tearing a small hole in the shirt. He tossed it away and kissed her shoulders, tracing his tongue up to her neck and finally towards her lips. Both of them forgot everything when they had sex. Neither of them were making love. But they both felt such a strange connection and wanting that they didn't want to be apart just yet. Kate lay next to Sawyer and watched him as he slept. She carefully got up off the bed and went into the bathroom. She hadn't showered. Sawyer didn't seem to mind, but she sure as hell did. She decided to get into the shower before he noticed she was gone. She stood in the shower letting the water rinse down her. She brought her hands up to her hair and felt to firm but gentle hands grasp her wrists.

"You showering without me?" he asked into her ear. She whipped around. She had every intention of kicking him out. She told herself that if he did come into the bathroom she would tell him to leave. However she was taken a back by his appearance and wanting of her. Instead of pushing him out she brought him into the tub letting the water hit both of them. She noticed that he still had his boxers on. She smiled and quickly pulled them down and tossed them out of the shower. They both heard them splat on the ground. Kate reached her hand around his neck and kissed him deeply. He moved around and brought his hand between her legs. She took his hand in hers and guided his hand showing him what she wanted him to do. She gently pushed his hand away and started to wash her body.

"This was going to be a quick shower," she told him.

"It can be longer," he responded.

"Sawyer," she began. "I'm tired. I just want to sleep."

"Ok," he sighed, giving up and seeing the serious look in her eyes.After they got out of the shower they each dried off and got back into the warm bed. When they laid down Sawyer began to run his hand over Kate's side. She chuckled softly.

"What?" he asked.

"Your hands are rough," she responded. "You need to work on those callouses."

"I'll be sure to do that Freckles," he scoffed. Kate kissed Sawyer on the lips and cuddled next to him.

The next morning Kate woke up to Sawyer kissing her roughly. She opened her eyes and backed away.

"Nice wake up," she mumbled.

"I thought so," he said. "So I made a decision...you're gonna tell me why you're runnin' from the cops...or I'm not gonna take you anywhere."

"Why are you so interested?" she asked.

"You know what...I dunno," he stated. "All I've been doing the past 2 days is thinking about you and wanting to know everything I can about you."

"You wanna know something weird?" she asked. Without waiting for an answer she continued. "All I've been wanting to do is tell you everything."

"Go ahead then Freckles," he replied.

"I killed my step-father," she mumbled. "He was a horrible man. He beat my mother. I found out that he was my real dad."

"Your step dad is your real dad?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I dunno. He just...he would hit on me and tell me I was beautiful."

"Well you are beautiful," he grinned.

"Yeah, well it was gross having a man who I just found out is my real dad tell me those things," she said. "He treated my mother like crap. So I killed him. And she turned me in to the cops I guess."

"You told her?" he asked.

"Well I kind of blew up her house with him inside," she half chuckled. "I went to see her at work and I guess she told the police that I did it."

"Was it the same day that I met you?" he asked. She nodded slowly. He brushed his hand over her forehead and sighed deeply. "Freckles," he whispered. "You're going to be ok. I'll keep you safe."

"You don't even know me," she whispered, but didn't back away from him. He shook his head and leaned back in to kiss her. She kissed him back and they both jumped when there was a knock at the door.

"Housekeeping," a voice on the other side of the door said. Kate watched Sawyer go to the door. He opened the door a crack and told the woman to go away. She apologzied and told him that she would return later. Sawyer came back to the bed and began to lay next to Kate. She got out of the bed and started to get dressed.

"We should get an earlier start than yesterday," she told him. He grinned at her and raised his eyebrows. Kate smiled back but continued to get dressed. She and Sawyer left the hotel room and were back on the road. She kept giving him small looks. He looked over at her for a few seconds, and they both saw the truck pull out in front of them. It was too late. Sawyer slammed on the breaks and they both braced themselves for the crash.

**A/N: Please R & R**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Ok so just to warn you this chapter may be a little unrealistic, but that's the fiction part of the fanfiction. So I definitely will take any critisism that you have to offer, but I do understand that this probably wouldn't happen in real life (But then again the chances of 40 people surviving a plane crash on a desert island and then making it a home isn't exactly realistic either)**

The car was flipped over on it's roof. Sawyer was going in and out of conciousness. He opened his eyes and looked over at where Kate was. She wasn't moving.

"Freckles," he groaned. "Are you ok?"

There was no answer. (Please let her be ok.) Her head was bleeding. She still didn't move. Sawyer could faintly hear sirens, but he could see that they were close. He let his eyelids close again and didn't wake up.

Sawyer was sitting up in his hospital bed. He had a minor concusion and a sprained wrist. He had some deep cuts and bruises, but other than that he was fine. There was a bandage on his forehead. Sawyer could only guess that there was a nasty cut underneath it. His arms had some shallow cuts on them, he figured that's where the broken glass had cut his skin.

"How's Alice?" he asked a nurse who came in.

"Who's Alice?" she questioned back.

"The woman! The woman I was in the accident with. How's my girl?" he asked.

"Well first off her name isn't Alice. I'm sorry. She decieved you," the nurse told him. "She's not doing well. Her spine was crushed in the crash. She may never walk again."

"Can I go see her?" he asked. "Please...She's my wife."

"I guess that would be ok, but I'm going to have to wheel you down to her room in a wheelchair."

Sawyer complied and let the nurse help him sit in a wheelchair. When he came into the room there was a doctor reading her chart and looking at her. She had several tubes coming out of her. She had a tube in her mouth that told Sawyer she wasn't breathing on her own.

"Is she gonna be ok?" Sawyer asked the doctor.

"We're gonna do our best sir," the doctor responded not looking up from the chart. "I'm gonna have to do some more tests. She's gonna need surgery."

The doctor spoke quickly and unemotionally. It annoyed Sawyer greatly. Even if he did only meet this spectacular woman a couple days ago...what if he really was married to her. He was definitely already falling for her. He had this unspoken connection to her that was more than just the amazing sex that they had been having.

"Hey!" Sawyer yelled. "Do you mind looking at me when you're telling me about my wife?"

"Sorry sir I didn't realize the two of you were married," he mumbled. "There's no ring."

"I can't afford it right now ok?" he spat back. "I'm sorry that I'm not some hot shot doctor millionare but that don't mean that I don't love this woman."

"I am sorry," the doctor stated. "Never had a very good bedside manner."

The nurse pushed past the doctor so Sawyer could get a closer look at Kate. Sawyer looked at the badge on the doctor's lab coat. Dr. Jack Shepherd.

"So uh, doc," Sawyer began. "You're gonna be doing the surgery?"

"Yes sir," Jack nodded. "I'm gonna come back in a few minutes to prep her. When the opperation is over we will come let you know. Ms. Austen should be fine."

"How do you know her name?" Sawyer asked. He then noticed that her wrist was handcuffed to the bed.

"The officer who responded to the scene noticed that it's Kate Austen," Jack replied. "She blew up her mother's house, with her step-father inside. She'll be going to jail for a long time."

"That's not what happened!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Do you know something we don't Mr.-I'm sorry I didn't catch your name," an officer appeared at the doorway.

"I'm her husband," he replied. "Her step father was a jackass. He threatened to kill her so...we beat him to it."

"Are you saying that you had a part in this crime?" the officer asked.

"You can't prove anything," he mumbled. He was waiting back in his room for that jackass doctor to come tell him how Kate was. His mind kept wandering back to why he cared so much about a chick he had just met. 3 days ago the only thing he cared about was having a meaningless one night stand, and now the girl was fighting for her life...and it was kind of his fault.

"Mr. Ford," Jack came into the room and walked toward Sawyer's bed.

"Yes," he nodded. "How is she?"

"We're actually not sure," he began. "We won't know anything till she regains conciousness, but we believe she's paralyzed."

"Meaning she'll never walk again?" Sawyer asked.

"We want to give you worst case scenario, but it's definitely a distinct possiblity that she will never walk again. I'm sorry."

"You really are the worst at bedside manner aren't you?" he questioned. "Haven't you ever heard of hope?"

"Yes, but there is such thing as false hope sir," Jack responded.

"Can I go see her?" He inquired. Jack nodded and Sawyer quickly got out of bed without using the wheelchair. He felt completely fine. It was that poor girl. Why did she sustain such horrible injuries and he hardly has a scratch?

When he arrived at Kate's room the first thing he noticed was that the handcuff had been removed. He took Kate's hand in his and kissed it gently. Kate's hand flinched in his. He looked at Kate and saw that her eyes were opening slowly. The nurse in the room pushed Sawyer aside and looked at Kate. Jack looked at her too. He was unintentionally leaning against her leg. The nurst took the tube out of Kate's mouth and Kate began to cough hard.

"Do...you mind...getting...off my...leg?" she breathed and coughed. Jack and Sawyer both grinned widely and Jack continued his examination making sure that it wasn't a phantom pain that she felt in the leg. Sawyer stayed with her for another 20 minutes. Neither of them said anything but she was greatful that she had him there with her.

Later that night Sawyer was laying in his bed. He was just thinking about that brunette goddess. She didn't deserve to go to jail for killing such a bastard. He got back out of bed. He had to admit that he was beginning to feel a little light headed, but his only concern at this point, was getting that girl away from here and helping her run away from the damn cops.

When he arrived at her room he brought with him a wheelchair. He half expected there to be gaurds at her door and that damn marshall in the room waiting for someone to try and take her away. However there was no one. Sawyer went into the room and noticed that Kate was awake.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered loudly.

"Shh!" he said. "We're busting out of here."

He helped her into the wheelchair and began to quickly go down the hall. He continued to search for the exit, but not knowing the hospital very well he kept making wrong turns. He saw the doc walking toward them.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm getting her out of here," Sawyer replied non-chalantly. "I need to help her."

"You can't just leave," he scoffed. "Kate is very sick. She needs her rest and medication."

"Well give us the meds and let us get outta here."

"That's not how it works," Jack protested. "She needs to stay here. What if something happens?"

"Can't you just give us your number or somethin'...and if something goes wrong I'll call ya."

"No," Jack answered.

"We're leaving with or without your help...so just move out of my way."

Jack stood in his way and Sawyer forced past him. As he wheeled past Jack he heard Jack calling after him.

"Did she do what that officer said she did?" Jack asked.

"No," Sawyer responded. "And even if she did the guy deserved it."

"Nice cover up," Kate mumbled. "Please Dr. Shepherd. You already saved me once today...please save me again. Let us go. Help us get out of here. The man they're talking about...he beat me and my mother. He treated me more like a piece of ass than his own daughter which is what I was. The man was a discusting pig."

"Ok, if I help you...if anything happens you have to promise me that you'll call. If things get worse you need to take her to a hospital. Right now she's doing better, but-" he asked.

"Yeah yeah yeah...I'll keep her safe. I'll make sure that everything is ok." Sawyer stated. Jack brought them through the hospital and to a back door exit.

"Here, take my car," Jack said handing Sawyer a set of keys.

"Are you crazy?" Kate asked. "We can't take your car. They'll realize it's stolen."

"No," Jack shook his head and spoke quickly. "I'm selling it. There's a for sale sign on it and the pink slip is in the glove box. Do you have another mode of transpertation?...Because if not I suggest you take my car."

"You ain't gonna turn us in are ya?" Saywer asked.

"Well I guess you'l never know if you don't go," he responded. "Just trust me...and obviously if the cops catch up to you, you'll know never to trust a doctor again. Now go!"

**A/N: Ok so I didn't get as many reviews as I would have liked for the last chapter. I will keep going don't worry but please take a couple seconds to tell me how I'm doin'. Thanks a bunch!**


	5. Chapter 5

Kate and Sawyer had checked into a small motel after they had driven for about 3 hours. Sawyer had a blinding pain in his head and was in the shower. Kate was laying in the bed with a cold wash cloth on her face. She could hardly walk, but Sawyer helped her. She suddenly felt sick and made her way into the bathroom as fast as she could. She made it to the toilet in time and threw up. Sawyer pretended not to hear her, but when she groaned he heard it and peeked his head out to make sure she was ok.

"You ok?" he asked softly.

"I'll be fine," she mumbled. She flushed the toilet, making Sawyer's shower water very hot. He yelled and jumped out of the shower. He slipped and automatically put his hands down to catch his balance. Against Dr. Shepherd's orders he took the wrist brace off to take his shower. His wrist landed on the cold hard tile and he grimaced.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed grabbing his wrist in his other hand. He stood up and examined it. Kate looked from his wrist to his face.

"Sorry," she said quietly, obviously apologetic. She gave him a weak smile and he returned it.

"How 'bout you come a little closer to apologize Freckles?" he asked with his eyebrows raised. She rolled her eyes and instead went to the sink to rinse her mouth out. She noticed the scrapes on Sawyer's arms and face. The bandage on his head appeared to have gotten wet and was now bleeding.

"Put on some clothes and I'll clean your face up," she told him. She glanced down without really meaning to. He hadn't bothered to wrap a towel around himself yet. She smirked and limped back into the bedroom. She sat down on the bed and a few minutes later Sawyer was walking toward the bed. He hadn't gotten dressed...just put a pair of boxers on.

Kate and Sawyer had gotten some supplies that Jack had recommended to them. She was setting the supplies on the bed and getting ready. She carefully stood up and let him have her spot. She sat on a chair in front of him.

"So what was that earlier?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she questioned picking up the tube of aniseptic.

"That damsel in distress act," he replied. "Acting like the doctor is some big hero."

"You jealous?" she asked with a smile.

"Maybe," he answered.

"Don't worry about it," she scoffed. "You may be a con man, but...well I can be just as much of a con artist as the next guy."

She carefully dabbed the goopy aniceptic on the cut on Sawyer's forehead. He was resting his hands on her legs and gripped them tighter and let out a slow pained groan.

"Oh come on it's not that bad," she chuckled.

"It's my forehead," he told her. "I'll tell you how bad it is."

"You're such a baby," she sighed. She put the gause that was already pre-cut on the wound and began examining the other tiny cuts that sprinkled his body. She didn't see a need to use any more of their supplies. She ordered him to lay down and then put the supplies away.

"I'm gonna go take a shower now," she told him.

"You sure you don't want to be in there alone m'lady," he said with a smile.

"I'll be ok," she said.

"Freckles, you just had surgery," he began.

"Yeah," she interrupted. "I was there."

"I just think you should let me help you," he stated.

"Why are you so protective?" she asked. "You're acting like we really are married. And I got a news flash for you...we're not."

"Remember how you were talkin' about that conning thing before?" he asked. "It was an act."

"Sure didn't seem like it," she said.

"That's because I'm the best at what I do," he smiled widely showing her his deep dimples.

"Ok, whatever," she scoffed. "I'm gonna go take my shower now."

Sawyer carefully stood up and followed her. She glanced back and rolled her eyes.

"I don't take no for an answer remember?" he asked. "Now we can stand here and argue for another 40 minutes...or you can let me help you and shut your trap."

She rolled her eyes again, but let him follow her. She lifted the shirt over her head first and covered herself with a towel. She carefully pulled her pants off and stepped into the shower still holding the towel around her.

"Now's not the time to be shy Freckles," he said with a smirk. She handed him the towel before turning the water on.

"Sit down," he whispered.

"I'm fine," she told him.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "You can barely stand, just quit being stubborn and sit your ass down."

She lowered herself to the floor of the tub. She like Sawyer also had cuts and scrapes on covering her body, but for some reason hers looked worse than his. She let Sawyer help her wash her hair and body. Her cheeks were pink from embarrasment, but that feeling only lasted for a few minutes. She realized how gentle he was being and he was carefull to not touch her too roughly. When they both felt that she was done Kate stood up and her legs wobbled beneath her. Sawyer caught her before she fell and lifted her from the tub. He placed a towel around her and she stood in front of him, still trying to stand up without his help.

"I gotcha," he whispered. She looked up at him and hesitated just once before bringing her lips to his. He kissed he back softly.

"Do you wanna try walkin'?" he asked quietly. She nodded her head slowly. With Sawyer still holding on to her, supporting her she took a few steps and then stopped.

"I hate this," she said. He looked at her sympathetically and picked her up. He carried her into the bedroom area and set her down on the bed. He began to stand up and before he could get too far she pulled him back on top of her. She kissed him and moaned softly into his mouth.

"Well gee Freckles, good to know you still have your upper strength," he chuckled, looking down at her.

"Shut up and kiss me," she whispered. He had no problem with this order and was happy to oblige. He kissed her and touched her stomach gently. She ran her fingers over his back and flipped them both so that they were laying on their sides.

"Do you think that this is a good idea Freckles?" he asked quietly. "Because I mean-"

"I know!" she exclaimed. "I just had surgery and to tell you the truth I'm in a lot of pain right now, but I can't think of anything better to get my mind off of it."

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered.

"Then you won't," she assured him. He kissed her again and she took the edge of the towel she was wrapped in and began to unwrap herself.

"Allow me," he said quietly. She chuckled at him and allowed him to take the towel from her. He tossed it aside and ran his hands over her body. He had wanted to do while he was helping her in the shower, but he had held back. She continued to kiss him as he ran his rough hands over her. They were both beginning to see that this relationship was more than just physical.

Kate slept next to him with her arm loosely around him. He was sleeping on his back with his arms stretched above his head. He woke up before she did and looked down at her. His wrist was killing him. He carefully took her arm and moved it off of him. He stood up and walked into the bathroom. He took 2 asprin and walked back into the bedroom. He expected Kate to look like the sleepy angel she had a few minutes before, but instead she had spread her body out. She was laying on her back in the middle of the bed and snoring loudly. He let out a small chuckle and tried to re-claim his spot in the bed. He moved her carefully on to her side so he could lay next to her. She only woke up slightly and wrapped her arms around him and trapped him with one of her legs. (She's a cuddler). He was used to cuddling with women, but normally it was just to seduce them and make them think that he was gentle and cute. And it always worked. But this time it was different. Having her make the move and wrap her arms around him was almost weird for him. He hesitated before he mimicked her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm tired," she whispered. "Can we just sleep all day?"

"Hell yeah," he answered quietly. "I gotta say Freckles, I'm pretty spent myself."

"G'night Sawyer," she said into his chest. He kissed the top of his head and rearranged his arms so they weren't holding each other quite so tight. She felt that he was slightly constricted and uncomfortable so she removed her leg from the top of his, but kept her arms closely around him. Kate absentmidedly ran her fingers over Sawyer's chest. He smiled slightly and ran his fingers through Kate's hair.

Neither of them ever wanted to be tied down. Least of all Sawyer. Both of them felt each others fingers touching each other gently. Kate had been in love before. Tom was her first love and she wished that he hadn't married that woman. He was so happy with his wife and child. All she wanted to do was run away with him. Find some deserted island somewhere and just be with him, forget about everything that had happened in the past 3 days. After she went to see her dad she was going to ask Sawyer if she would take her to see Tom.

Sawyer had never actually been in love. He never let himself get close enough to be in love. He didn't deserve to be in love. He didn't even know if he deserved to have Kate laying in his arms. She was just as broken as he was. Maybe they could fix each other. He knew that no one would ever be able to fix him, but Kate was certainly already helping him.


	6. Chapter 6

Sawyer and Kate spent the next few months travelling across the United States. It had been exactly 3 months since Kate had blown up her mom's house. She woke with a start. She had a dream that Wayne wasn't dead and he came to find her. She rolled over in bed and noticed that Sawyer's warm body was no longer laying next to her. She stretched her arms above her head and began to sit up. She heard the door open and Sawyer's voice.

"Son of a bitch," he said just above a whisper. She heard something fall to the ground. It was something small, but big enough to get a grunt and Sawyer swore under his breath. She went to investigate and slowly got out of bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked as he gathered food from a McDonald's bag.

"I was bringing you breakfast...well lunch," he told her.

"Thanks," she smiled. "I'm a vegetarian."

"Oh," he answered and his cheeks turned bright pink.

"I'm kidding," she smiled wider. "Thank you."

She helped him bring the bag of food which had broken in to the room and set it on the small round table. They both ate in silence...happy to have something in their stomachs.

"So where are we off to today?" Sawyer asked.

"Um...can you take me to Texas?" she questioned.

"We're in Califonia Freckles," he told her.

"Actually we are in Arizona," she corrected. "The hospital was in California, but we drove for 4 hours, and now we're in Arizona."

"Hmm," he began. "Guess you're right. Ok...so you want to go to Texas? What's in Texas?"

"My-my dad," she whispered.

"I thought you killed your dad," he said. "You don't make any sense."

"Ok, I'm sorry," she shook her head. "Wayne was the man who I thought was just my asshole step dad...My real dad was Sam Austen. But he was always away because of the stupid military. He knew that he wasn't my dad, but he still acted like he was. He always treated me like his little girl. I just need to see him."

"Ok," he nodded. "Well, then let's go to Texas."

She looked at him greatfully. Later that day they left. They arrived in Texas at 1:00am. Kate and Sawyer decided in order to save money they would spend that night in the car. Kate curled herself on the front seat. It was not very comfortable sleeping conditions. When they woke up Sawyer drove her silently to the office building that Kate knew how to get to all too well.

"You been here before Freckles?" he asked.

"No," she whispered. "I got the directions about a year ago. I memorized them, but I could never leave to see my dad. I couldn't leave my mom alone with Wayne."

Kate walked into the building with a purpose. She was only gone for a couple minutes. He watched her push against the door. She pushed so hard he thought the door would fly of the hinges. She was angry and upset. When she got into the car she didn't say anything. She put her head down and tried to hide the tears that were already falling down her cheeks.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Can you just drive?" she sniffled. He didn't answer her but put the car in drive and left the parking lot. As he drove, he had no idea where he was going. He didn't know where to go. He didn't know what had happened between Kate and her father, but he knew whatever it was, wasn't good.

"Do you wanna tell me where we're going and what we're doing?" he asked, mumbling slightly.

"Pull over," she replied. He did as he was told and looked at her curiously. He put the car in park, but didn't turn the ignition off. Kate reached over, turned the car off and crawled over to where Sawyer was sitting. She straddled his legs and kissed him. He kissed her back, and was still confused, but didn't mind. As they kissed Kate took his hands and put them on her body where she wanted him to touch her. He ran his hands up to her neck and played with her hair. She stopped kissing him just as quickly as she started and leaned against his chest. She was crying so hard that she had stopped breathing.

"Kate," he whispered. She took a deep breath and got off of his lap.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," he began. "Any time...are you ok?"

"We have to get out of here," she started. "Well I do. I'm sorry. I shouldn't get you any more involved."

"Well baby, I am involved now," he replied. "It don't make no difference to me."

She nodded and told him to drive to a drug store. When she was in the store, Sawyer waited out in the car. Kate came outside with a bag from the drug store.

"What'd ya get?" he asked.

"You'll see," she mumbled. They drove up to a small motel. Kate disappeared into the bathroom and Sawyer flopped down on the bed. She was gone for a long time. He decided to see if she was alright. She had been gone for about 25 minutes.

"Freckles, are you alright in there?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered quickly. Her voice was muffled, so he couldn't be sure, but she sounded like she was crying. Sawyer jiggled the door knob. It was locked.

"Freckles, come on out," he said. "What's wrong?"

The door opened slowly. Kate stepped through the door and looked at Sawyer sadly. Her hair was bleach blonde. He chuckled softly at her and couldn't help but bring her into a hug.

"My hair is blonde," she sobbed.

"I see that," he said, still chuckling. "Come on it's not that bad."

"So it is gross?" she asked. "Does it look horrible?"

"No," he whispered. "Definitely not horrible. Just different. If it makes you feel any better I've always had a fantasy about being with a blonde and a brunette at the same time."

She couldn't help but smile widely and hug him closer to her.

"If it makes you feel better, it smells really good," he told her. Kate leaned against him and smiled up at him.

"You're such a con man," she stated.

"Yeah," he nodded. "And you're the criminal. We already know that Freckles."

It had been about a month since Kate dyed her hair. She had gone down the street to get coffee for them both. His cell phone rang. He hadn't had a job in over 6 months now and he was finally starting to feel somewhat better about himself. He kept the phone charged. He didn't know why because it hadn't rung in the 6 months, but he was always sure that Hibb's could get a hold of him. He picked it up and sighed deeply.

"I got a job for your James," Hibb's voice said.

"What?" he asked.

"In Iowa," he replied.

"I can't go to Iowa right now," Sawyer responded. "I've got my own job right now."

"Well James, if you don't go, you're going to regret it."

When she came into the motel room she was holding a letter in her hand plus the coffee cups. She handed Sawyer one of them and sat down on the bed. She opened the letter. $100 fell onto her lap and she began to read the letter. The letter fell into her lap and her hands went up to her face. She began to sob. Sawyer stood up and went next to the bed. He took the letter from her lap and began to read.

Dear Katie,  
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you have to know. About a month ago your mom came to me...she was sick. I'm so sorry Katie, she has cancer. She's not going to last much longer, and I think that you should come see her before she dies. I miss you.  
Love Tom.

"Who's Tom?" he asked.

"My first love," she whispered.

"Did he break your heart?" he asked.

"We kind of broke each others," she answered. He gently put an arm around her and kissed her temple. She turned toward him and let him hug her.

That night they lay next to each other. Sawyer thought about what he was going to tell Kate. He wanted to let her know that he was going to Iowa. He didn't want to go...but he didn't want to see Hibbs's wrath either.

"What's on your mind Cowboy?" Kate asked, seeing the expression in his face.

"Iowa," he mumbled.

"Iowa?" she asked with a chuckle. "Why Iowa?"

"I gotta go there tomorrow," he whispered.

"Why?" she questioned.

"Because if I don't my boss will kill me," he told her. He rolled away from her, not wanting to tell her anything else.

"Your boss?" she asked. "Like your con artist boss?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "He has a job for me."

"I'm going with you," she replied.

The next day they made the drive to Iowa. Kate made another trip to another drug store and dyed her hair back to the brunette color. She requested that Sawyer drop her off at the hospital. It just so happened that they were in the same town as Tom. She had to see him.

Sawyer drove to the diner where Hibbs told him to go. He sat down at the table with Hibbs.

"What the hell are you doin' James?" Hibbs asked.

"I'm not doing anything," he stated.

"You're falling for her," Hibbs answered.

"I'm fallin' for who?" he asked.

"Whoever you came here with," the man replied.

"What's this job?" Sawyer asked with a sigh.

"You'll see. You'll find out later."

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" he questioned.

"Stay here over night and you'll find out," Hibbs said.

Sawyer left the diner and drove towards the hospital. Kate was running towards his car and got in.

"Drive!" she yelled. He sped off and continued to drive without asking any questions. After he had been driving for 30 minutes he stopped the car and pulled over.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"What happened Kate?" he inquired.

"He's dead," she whispered. "And so is she. Everyone I love is dying. And I'll never see my dad again. I have nothing."

"Yes you do," he told her. "Now tell me what happened."

"I went to see my dying mother in the hospital. My friend Tom...he was trying to help me escape. There were police all over the hospital. And when we were driving. They killed him...it's all my fault."

She leaned over and hugged him.

"Thanks," she sniffled.

"Of course Freckles."

That night Kate decided that she wanted to forget about her day. She asked Sawyer to help her with that. They went to the bar in the hotel and were drinking. Kate took Sawyer by the hand and led him towards the elevators. She was tipsy and leaning against him. They quickly walked to the door of their hotel room. Sawyer opened the door, and then lifted Kate up into his arms. He walked into the room quickly and threw her onto the bed.

"Hello James," a voice behind them said. Kate let out a small gasp.

"What the hell do you think you're doin'?" Sawyer asked.

"Sorry ma'am," Hibbs stated. "I need to talk to your friend here."

"Why don't you go back downstairs darlin'?" he said. "I'll come get ya as soon as this jackass is gone."

Kate glared at Sawyer and walked out of the room. He plead with her, with his eyes to leave. She left but looked back over her shoulder before the door closed.

"Ok what the hell do you want?" he asked.

"I want you to go to Australia Sawyer," Hibb's told him. "I found your man."

"What man?" Sawyer asked.

"I found the real Sawyer. He's living in Australia. Owns a shrimp truck. You've been wanting to kill this man for what is it now 30 years?"

"27 years, 3 months, and 12 days," Sawyer mumbled.

"Well then here ya go," Hibbs handed Sawyer an envelope. Sawyer pulled out the information and began reading about this man. This Frank Duckett.

After Hibbs left, Sawyer went and got Kate from the bar. It looked like she had two more drinks. He noted that the drunker she was, it seemed, the hornier she was. She couldn't keep her hands off of him as they laid in the bed. They both were wrapped up in the pleasure and ecstasy that they were creating in the hotel room.

"Do you wanna go to Australia?" Sawyer asked.

"You're going to Australia?" Kate questioned quietly.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Sure," she answered. "I'll go with you."

**A/N: Ok so I know that this is not exactly the timeline of things that happened, but I just made it so that Sawyer and Kate were with each other during those parts during the real show. Please please please review! I would love some feedback and anything else ya'll have to offer. Thanks.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sawyer and Kate are in Australia and things aren't going well.**

On the plane ride to Australia Kate could feel that Sawyer was antsy. They didn't speak. Sawyer continued to move around in his seat.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"For the 40th time, I'm fine," he responded. Kate took him by the hand to keep it from moving. She lifted it to her mouth and kissed it softly.

"Why do you need to go to Australia?" she questioned.

"I need to pee," he stood up and left her sitting, pondering the question. When he returned she asked the question again and he continued ignoring her. When they landed in Australia Sawyer went right to the rental car place. Neither of them had much luggage, so Kate went by herself to get the two small bags. Sawyer drove to a near by hotel and dropped Kate off.

"Stay here," he told her once they were in the room.

"Where are you goin'?" she asked.

"Look just stay put," he replied. "I don't have to tell you nothin'."

Kate sighed and watched as Sawyer angerly left the room. She went into the bathroom and washed her face. She looked up at the ceiling. She left the bathroom, went into the bedroom area, and laid down on the bed. After flipping through the channels a couple times she came to a comercial for a pregnancy test. 99.7 percent effective. She sighed again and looked back up to the ceiling. She closed her eyes and began counting. She was definitely late. She quickly took her purse off the end table and stood up. She practically ran through the hotel. When she turned the corner at the end of the hall she ran hard into a maid's cleaning cart.

"Son of a bitch," she whispered.

"I'm so sorry ma'am," the woman said.

"It's not your fault," she shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Ma'am are you ok?" the maid asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded and ran from the scene. She was headed out the door when she noticed a small gift shop in the hotel. She highly doubted that there was a pregnancy test in the small gift shop, but she thought she'd check just in case. Going into the gift shop, she first decided she'd pretend to be looking for more than just a pregnancy test. She picked up a bag of Doritos and a candy bar. Then she saw it. A generic brand pregnancy test behind the cash regester.

"And one pregnancy test," Kate mumbled and whispered at the same time.

"What was that ma'am?" the store clerk asked. She was sick of being called ma'am. It was so condecending.

"Can I have a pregnancy test?" she asked slightly louder.

"I'm sorry ma'am I still didn't hear you," the man stated. Kate was at this point so annoyed she felt like reaching over the counter, snatching the pregnancy test and running away with it.

"Pregnancy test!" she yelled loudly. She got a few looks from people out in the hall. She sighed deeply. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge."

"Maybe it's those hormones," the clerk said hopefully. Kate glared at the kid. He was a kid...maybe 17 years old. He gave her the pregnancy test and rang up the rest of the merchandise.

"$23.50," he told her. Kate handed the kid her money, collected her change and walked quickly from the room. She read the directions on the box and sighed. She didn't know whether she should wait for Sawyer or not. She thought maybe if she did it without him he would never have to know. Then she thought of what she would do if it was positive. Sawyer wouldn't want all that baggage, and he'd probably leave her on the airplane back to the States. Sawyer knew that Kate was still running from the law. And he also knew that she had been caught up to a couple times before, and she had gotten away all 3 times. Same damn marshall each time too.

* * *

Sawyer walked around the small shrimp truck. Why was a con man that was as good as Sawyer...why was he working in a damn shrimp truck in the middle of the freaking outback? Sawyer ruined James' life. That small 8 year old hiding under his bed...James was still there sometimes. Sometimes he could feel like James when he was with Kate...but that was the only time. In 14 years the only time he could feel like James, was with a fugitive. Someone who was just like him. Sawyer quickly left the shrimp truck without even getting out of his car. He sped back to the hotel and went quickly into the building. When he arrived at the door he straightened himself out...getting ready to put on an act for the woman inside.Kate was streched out on the bed. She was laying awake, but not very alert to the television which was blaring, or the fact that Sawyer had just walked in.

"What are you doing?" he asked. He turned the T.V. off and knelt in front of Kate. He realized she had been crying.

"What happened?" he asked blankly...not showing any kind of remorse or concern in his voice. She sat up and wiped her cheeks clean. Then she pushed past Sawyer and into the bathroom. As luck would have it the lock on the door was busted. She sat on the toilet, with the lid down and put her head down in her hands.

"Kate dammit talk to me," he more demanded rather than requesting nicely.

"Why should I?" she asked. "You aren't talking to me! Since yesterday when that guy whatever his name was...since that guy was hiding in our room...what the hell happened?"

"Nothing," he insisted.

"Nothing?" she asked. "That's bull and you know it!"

Sawyer then noticed the rectangular box sitting on the bathroom counter. Kate saw him eyeing it and reached for it. Sawyer snatched it before she could. He looked at it confused and then back at Kate.

"Were ya gonna tell me?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Yes what?" he questioned. "Yes you were gonna tell me, or yes you're pregnant."

"I haven't taken it yet," she answered. She snatched the box back from him, opened it up, quickly lifted the lid to the toilet and pulled her pants down around her ankles. She did this all so quickly Sawyer didn't have a chance to move. She peed on the pregnancy test and put it up on the counter. Then she stood up and left the room. Sawyer looked at her in awe and picked up the pregnancy stick. He examined it and then noticed that Kate had taken the box. He walked back into the bedroom and sat on the floor in front of the bed. Kate was laying on the bed looking at the box. Sawyer thought it looked like she wasn't really reading it. After about 2 minutes Kate scrambled to the end of the bed and snatched the test from Sawyer's hands. He looked up at her and she closed her eyes. He couldn't tell what the expression was. He was never good at reading women, unless it was pleasure.

"Ya mind telling me?" he asked. She didn't answer and instead laid down on her back, with her eyes still closed. Sawyer carefully walked over to her and took both the box and the test from her. 2 pink lines. Not pregnant. He sighed in relief and put both the box and test on the table next to Kate's head. She opened her eyes and began to sob and laugh at the same time. Sawyer sighed again not knowing what her reaction was. He laid down next to her silently. He didn't touch her, not knowing what she would do if he did.

"Do you still want me?" she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"How long have we been sleeping together?" she asked him.

"What?" he repeated.

"For 3 months," she answered for him. "Sawyer, I'm falling in love with you. And I was so scared that I might be pregnant because I knew it would make you leave me."

"Don't tell me you're upset that you're not pregnant," he scoffed. "Neither of us can be parents right now."

"Didn't you hear me?" she asked. "I didn't want to be pregnant because I knew you'd leave."

He didn't say anything, but just stared at her. Kate stared back and waited for some kind of reassurance from him. When it didn't come she sighed deeply and stood up. She pushed her way past him and went back into the bathroom. She wished that they hadn't gotten the one damn bathroom with no lock on the door. She stepped into the shower, closed the curtain, and sat down on the floor of the tub. She brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them. Tears were falling from her cheeks and landing on the cool ceramic tub.

"Why the hell did I even tell him?" she whispered.

"Tell me what?" she heard his voice on the other end of the curtain.

"Just leave me alone," she said quietly.

"I'm falling in love with you too Freckles," he told her. He carefully pulled the curtain back and stared at her. "I don't let my self love anyone Kate, but..."

Kate sniffled and stood up. Sawyer held out his hand for her to take and she stepped out of the tub.

"Say it again," she whispered.

"I love you," he repeated.

"I love you too," she let out a small sob. He kissed her softly on the lips. She stepped back, and stepped into the bathtub. She began to unbuckle his belt. He swiftly peeled her shirt off and then helped her out of her pants. He took his shirt off, stepped into the shower behind them and without taking his lips or eyes off of her he turned the water on. He wasn't paying attention to the faucet and he turned the temprature almost all the way up. They both screamed and he reached behind him to turn it down.

"I don't think we're gonna need the water to be hot," Kate breathed. He shut her up with his mouth and they continued to explore each other with their hands and mouths.

The next morning Kate woke up naked and cold. She moved towards where Sawyer was laying. She curled her body against him and felt his strong arms pull her closer. He kissed her neck and trailed his tongue across her ear. She smirked and turned over to face him.

"Mornin'," he stated.

"Hi," she whispered.

"I have something that I need to do today ok?" he asked.

"Ok," she nodded. "I'll come with you."

"No," he shook his head. "That's the thing. You need to stay here. Please, just do this for me and stay here. Don't worry about me."

"Well when you say it like that I'm gonna worry," she scoffed.

Sawyer stayed with her most of the day and around 2:00 he left to go to the shrimp truck. Kate reluctantly stayed back, with the promise that she wouldn't leave. Sawyer had been gone all afternoon and most of the night. It was 10:00pm and he still wasn't back. She was becoming very anxious and nervous. It was 10:20...Sawyer stumbled through the door. Happy to see him Kate stood up and went to the door.

"Well hiya Freckles," he slurred. He quickly pulled her towards him and kissed her hard. He was dripping wet and began to strip his clothes off in between kissing Kate.

"Oh God," she groaned and half gagged at the taste of the tequilla on his breath. "You're so drunk."

"I know," he answered. He pushed against her and brought her into the bedroom. He put her on the bed and climbed on top of her.

"Please, just stop," she said quietly. He didn't stop, and continued to kiss her and smother her. She finally was able to get out from underneath him. She kicked him in the groin as she got out from under him.

"Son of a bitch Frickles," he said.

"Son of a bitch yourself," she scoffed. "You can't even say my damn name. You're not in any condition to do anything."

"I love you," he whispered.

"Well, then you'll understand why I'm not giving in to this," she answered. "You're ridiculous."

Sawyer stood up from the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. Kate began to follow, but he shut the door and sat down in front of it so she couldn't get in. Kate sighed and walked away from the closed door. She got into the bed and hugged her pillow close to her. After sleeping in a bed with Sawyer for over 4 months it was almost lonely. She heard the bathroom door open and could feel Sawyer watching her. She decided not to turn toward him, but she felt him lay down in the bed next to her. He put his arms around her and settled his head close to hers. At first she thought that he was going to stay there and not try anything else, but instead she felt his hands move lower. She took his hand in hers, not allowing it to explore any further. He took her hand with him and began to pull at her underwear.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"I need you tonight," he told her. She flipped over to face him, and looked at him.

"What happened?" she asked. "What happened to you tonight?"

"It ain't important," he mumbled. "I just really need you."

She swallowed hard and kissed his lips softly. He wasn't interested in taking things slowly, but she almost forced him to, by not touching him. His movements were harsh and quick, but Kate continued to be soft. She had a feeling that whatever happened to him...even if his actions were rush, he needed her to be soft and tender.

"Slow down," she whispered as he quickly lifted her shirt over her head. She leaned back and looked at his face. She couldn't tell if what she was seeing was sweat, tears, or rain drops from his hair, but his face was damp. She put her hands on his face. She gently wiped his face with her hand and brought him into a hug.The next morning Kate woke up facing Sawyer. She smiled weakly at him. He was still sleeping, and she was still wondering what had happened to him the night before. She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek softly. He immediately woke up and pushed her off of him.

"What the hell are you doin'?" he asked.

"I just-" she began. She really didn't know how to react. She was so taken aback that she didn't finish her sentence.

"Just don't touch me," he mumbled.

"Ok," she whispered.

"Don't get all girly on me now," he scoffed. "I'm just tired and I don't want to be touched."

"Hmm...polar opposite of what you wanted last night," she murmured.

"What?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Last night," she began. "You came home from wherever the hell you were...you practically jumped on me you were so egar."

"Just leave me alone," he sighed. He stood up and left the bed. He went back into the bathroom. She nodded and let out a short breath. She got dressed and waited for Sawyer to come back into the bedroom area. He was only in the bathroom for a couple minutes before he came out.

"I'm leaving," he told her. He quickly left the hotel, leaving Kate alone once more. She was so completely confused, that she didn't know what to even think. She cared a lot about Sawyer. They had been living as both fugitives and 'fake' husband and wife. She was definitely starting to fall in love with him, but she had no idea how he felt. He said he loved her and he seemed to be sincere, but Kate kept thinking about the fact that he's a conman. They never talked about their feelings. They always just kept each other closed off to everything except their bodies.

Sawyer drove the rental car back to the bar. Last night that guy who was there had talked him into killing that innocent guy. He would never be able to forgive himself. How would he ever face Kate? She didn't know what it was like. Maybe she had killed her daddy, but she had done it for a good reason. He didn't know where they stood. He knew he didn't want to be married to her, but their lives were beginning to be very comfortable. Anytime they were in public they were Mr. and Mrs. Ford. By themselves they were just Sawyer and Freckles. She didn't even know his real name. He didn't know if he'd ever tell her. Sitting at the bar there was a skinny woman, who was by herself, but was dressed like she wanted to go home with someone. _Who drinks at this hour in the morning_. He thought to himself as he drank the beer in his hand. He scoffed at his own thought.

"Hey sweetheart," the woman said quietly. "Someone break your heart?"

"Nope," he answered. "How 'bout you? Why are you here so early darlin'?"

"I'm here for the same reason as you," she replied. "Just looking for some company."

Sawyer looked at her, but didn't argue. She stood up from her stool. Her skirt was so short he thought that if he watched her very carefully he might get a nice show with his drink. She sat down next to him and watched his actions.

"So you're American?" she asked quietly.

"Uh, yeah," he said, in a 'stupid bitch' kind of voice.

"Me too," she replied. "I came to meet a hot Aussie."

"Sorry to disappoint you," he mumbled.

"Well, I'm not picky," she said. She stood up where she was and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I am," he told her. "I like my women smart and brunette."

She scoffed at him and tossed her hair back. He raised his eyebrows, but didn't move toward her. She walked down the bar and took her original spot back. He drank the rest of his beer and decided to go back to the hotel. When he went into the hotel Kate was sitting on the bed cross legged.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Hi."

Neither of them said anything else. They never talked about what had happened the previous night or that morning. The next morning was their flight back home. They had really bad communication that morning and were late to the airport. After getting through security Kate and Sawyer ran to the gate. They got to the gate as it was closing.

"Wait!" Kate exclaimed. "This is our flight."

"They've just left the gate," the woman at the gate told her. "We're gonna have to put you on another flight."

Kate sighed and so did Sawyer. They both sat and waited while the woman looked up a different flight.

"Ok," the woman started. "We're gonna be able to get you on a flight in about an hour. Flight 815 to Los Angeles. Will that work for you?"

"Yeah," Kate answered. She stood up and walked away from Sawyer. They silently walked through the airport and to the gate 23 where the plane would be taking off from."

When they got on the plane they realized that the woman had put them in different parts of the plane. They were both in the middle of the plane, but too far apart to talk. Kate was greatful for that. She didn't know if she could even look at him any more. When they landed back in the US she didn't know if they would stay together or go their seperate ways, and at this point she didn't really care either way.

Sawyer turned around just once to look at Kate. She was staring out of the window. She looked over to him and their eyes met for a few seconds, before Sawyer turned back around.The plane hit some turbulence. Kate closed her eyes and gripped the sides of the seat. When the oxygen masks fell and the plane began to rapidly descend Kate looked toward the front of her. Trying to find Sawyer. She couldn't see him. She couldn't hear anything except the loud engine and screaming, but he had to be ok. They both had to be ok.

**A/N: Ok so I only got one review for the last chapter. It's all good I guess, but ****I would really appreciate if you guys could tell me how you like this...or don't ****like it..haha. So please please R & R!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Yes the plane has crashed on the island, but I'm gonna still have it be somewhat AU. Some of the same things will happen, but I'm gonna change it up as much as I possibly can get away with.**

She woke up on the beach. When she stood up she was dizzy. All she wanted to do was find Sawyer. She looked around and began to feel woozy. She lowered herself to her knees and began to breathe in deeply, to make nausea go away. It did. She stood up and looked around. She made her way into the jungle. She was confused and extremely disorientated.

"Excuse me," she heard. She looked toward the voice. _Did he just ask me to sew him? Is he crazy?_

Jack and Kate made their way back toward the beach, after she sewed his gash. When they came through the trees she saw Sawyer standing by himself and looking around.

"Sawyer!" she yelled.

"Oh my god," he gasped. "Kate are you ok?"

She jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"Thanks again ma'am," Jack stated.

"Kate," she said.

"I treated you," he replied, pointing at her. "Sorry it took me so long to realize. I was a little preoccupied before."

Kate smiled and let out a chuckle. She nodded before he left and then turned her head back toward Sawyer. They both apologized to each other without using any words. He hugged her again and kissed her on the cheek.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered. "I was looking for you."

"It didn't look like you were looking very hard," she said, flashing him a smile.

"Well I was," he argued, but was also smiling.

They both began to walk around, not really knowing what to think. Sawyer sat down and took Kate with him. She sighed before sitting down with him.

"Y'know Dr. Shepherd thinks we should go to the cockpit," she stated. "I'm going with him."

"Like hell you are," Sawyer scoffed. "You ain't going no where."

"Sawyer, stop being jealous and just...I'm going with him. You can come too if you want," she offered.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll come too."

Just then a short and very out of it looking guy came over to them. Sawyer could tell he was on some kind of drug, and trying to hide it.

"Kate right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded and gave him a small smile.

"Uh, when are we leaving for the cockpit?" he asked.

"We?" she inquired.

"Yeah," he said. "I heard you were going into the jungle. I wanna come."

"I don't know when we're leaving I haven't talked to Jack-" she started.

"Kate are you ready?" Jack asked. She nodded and began to follow him into the jungle. Sawyer and Charlie followed close behind.They had been walking for about 20 minutes. Charlie was humming a song which Sawyer found both irritating and somewhat familiar.

"What's that?" Kate asked.

"Me?" Charlie questioned. She nodded and smiled at him.

"It's us," Charlie replied. "You all everybody...you all everybody...that's us. Driveshaft."

"Driveshaft?" Kate asked.

"Yeah do you know us?" he inquired.

"My friend Beth loved you guys," she chuckled.

"Oh well gimme her number and I'll give her a call," he answered. Kate smiled at him and let out another chuckle.

"You guys were good," she said.

"Are ya kiddin' me Freckles?" Sawyer asked. "They sucked. Cassidy always would-"

"Who's Cassidy?" Kate questioned with a smirk. Sawyer didn't answer and walked in front of Kate and Charlie who were now discussing Driveshaft. She was saying that she listened to them quite often with her friend Beth. Charlie said something lame about hooking up with this friend. Sawyer thought he was being a stupid little hobbit, but Kate seemed to think he was funny. When they got to the cockpit Sawyer helped Kate climb to the top. Jack was in front of her. Sawyer was sure that she was probably checking him out. When they got to the top he looked at her with a smile.

"You alright?" he whispered.

"I'm fine," she sighed. He was practically draping himself over her and she pushed him away.

Jack was talking to the pilot. He was talking to the pilot. Both Jack and Sawyer were listening intently. Kate looked around and noticed that Charlie was gone. She walked carefully back through the cockpit and was almost hit by the bathroom door swinging opened. She gasped slightly.

"What were you doing?" she asked.

The plane began to shake slightly and they all looked at each other wondering what the awful sounding noise was. She and Charlie clamored back up to where the 3 other men were waiting. When the pilot disappeared through the top of the cockpit Kate screamed. She realized how much like a girl she sounded. Sawyer held on to her before she slid down to the bottom of the cockpit. As the plane began to shake they all had the all too familiar feeling of it falling. They all ran from the cockpit and into the rain. Sawyer and Kate were ahead of everyone else at first until Kate fell. Sawyer helped her to her feet. They both ran and slipped slightly on the mud. They found shelter and protection from whatever was chasing them in a tree. She couldn't see Jack anywhere.

"Jack!" she screamed. Sawyer covered her mouth.

"What are you doin'?" he whispered. "You're gonna attract attention to us!"

"Jack could be dead!" she yelled back at him. "Do you get that? He's our doctor."

"Whatever," Sawyer mumbled. Suddenly Charlie appeared before them and they both gasped.

"Jeez shrimpo what the hell are you doing?" Sawyer asked.

"Are you guys ok?" Charlie asked ignoring Sawyer's question.

"Where is Jack?" Kate asked.

"I don't know," he answered.

"Well did you see him?" she questioned, becoming slightly scared.

"Yeah," he replied. "He stopped to help me."

"Where is he!?" she asked.

"I don't know Kate," he said. "I don't know."

Kate pushed past him and walked back through the jungle where they came from.

"Freckles where the hell are you going?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm gonna find Jack, what does it look like," she scoffed.

"Why do you even care?" he questioned. Kate didn't answer and then came upon Jack. He was laying face down in the mud. She began to breathe rapidly and turned him over. He was covered in blood and mud. He was definitely dead. Kate gasped, gagged, and then turned toward Sawyer, who looked like he was in shock. He put his arms around her. Charlie lifted his hands to his mouth.

**A/N: Ok so for those of you who don't know Jack was supposed to die in the actual ****pilot of the show (I know, weird right? What the hell would Lost be without ****Jack?), so that's why I killed him. Sorry if it pisses anyone off, but I didn't ****want to even give any chance for a Jate/Skate love triangle b/c there's just too ****much of that in the show anyway. So therefore I'm going to try and write the rest ****of the show like Jack was never there. What might have happened if Jack ****was never there to even tell the people "Live Together, Die Alone". Pleaase ****pleaase tell me your reactions/anything else. And I will definitely give you guys ****a break b/c I forgot that this weekend was Labor Day (an American Holiday) so I ****know that some of you might not be here this weekend. So anyway I hope to get l****ots of reviews. Thanks.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This chapter is Sawyer, Kate and Charlie return to the beach. Just to let ya'll know there will be no marshall in this because she wasn't captured.**

When they arrived back at the beach Sawyer and Kate really had no clue what they were supposed to tell the others. Kate began to gather people over to talk to them. Sawyer went towards a piece of the airplane and sat down with a cigarette.

"Can I borrow one mate?" Charlie asked, beginning to sit next to him. Sawyer sighed, but held out his pack of cigarette's out for Charlie to take one. Kate walked over to them and sighed.

"What the hell are we gonna say?" she asked.

"How 'bout, is there another doctor in the house, cuz ours is dead," Sawyer offered. Kate looked at him with her hands on her hips.

"Sawyer I'm serious," Kate replied.

"So what did you call us all over here for?" Sayid asked.

"We went into the jungle," Kate began. "We spoke to the pilot, he said that we were over 1,000 miles off course. Jack-something happened in the jungle."

"What do you mean something happened in the jungle?" Michael asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Something happened in the jungle. Jack's dead."

"What!?" Boone came almost threatingly toward Kate. She backed up and looked at Sawyer. Sawyer stepped forward and looked at Boone.

"Back off junior," he growled.

"Jack is our only doctor. What if something happens?" Boone asked.

"Well I don't know what we're gonna do," Kate replied. "We just have to hold on...stick together."

"What do you mean stick together?" Boone asked. "None of us no each other."

"Hey!" Hurley yelled. "She's right. We have to act like a family because we do have no one else. We have to live together for now."

"Or we're gonna die alone like Jack," Kate whispered.

They all nodded, knowing that Hurley and Kate were right. Everyone started working together, but seperately. Each person began to build shelters and make their own fire pits. As awful as it was, Kate thought it was pretty good that they had fire from the engine. Sawyer had gone into the fuselage to collect anything he could. He quickly found the liquor cart, and began to stash away everything he could. Kate watched as Sawyer buried the suitcase that he had put all of his stash in. They were in the middle of the jungle.

"I just think we should share some of this stuff," Kate sighed.

"Freckles," he began. "When are you gonna learn? It's every man for himself, and finders keepers."

"He didn't deserve to die," she said blankly shaking her head. They stood up and headed back to their tent.

"You still worried about the doc?" he asked.

"Sawyer, we watched him die," she answered. "He died, because of us."

"No he didn't," he shook his head. "He died because he was too slow. There is nothing any of us could have done. And what ever the hell is in the jungle...I think it would have gotten one of us, so I'm glad it wasn't me or you."

Kate smiled at him and they ducked inside their tent. She kissed him.

"That's really sweet to say," she whispered. "But I still feel bad."

"It's sad that he died Kate, but now all that's left to do is worry about ourselves."

"Knock knock," Hurley's voice sounded outside of Sawyer and Kate's tent. Kate opened the flap and looked up at Hurley.

"Hi Hurley," Kate stated.

"Hey," he responded. "Dudes, I just thought maybe you were hungry." He handed Kate two airplane meals.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"You're welcome," he nodded and smiled back. Kate handed Sawyer one of the meals and looked at him.

"I'm eating outside," she sighed. He reluctantly followed her and sat with her by a fire.

Over the next 3 days Sawyer wasn't making any friends. In fact he had pissed off essentially everyone on the island except for Kate, and he was beginning to pull away from her as well. Kate was walking on the beach carrying some banana's she had picked. She had been going into the jungle every morning to collect fruit, and she would return before Sawyer was even up. This morning she came across his pants laying in the sand. She bent down and picked up the book laying on the top.

"Helluva book!" he called. "It's about bunnies." She looked in his direction and saw him coming out of the water. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help, but smile at him.

"Water cold?" she asked.

"You wanna find out?" he smirked pulling her towards him.

"Sawyer," she chuckled. "Don't! Don't even think about it."

He stepped toward her and hugged her.

"You are cold," she whispered.

"I'm startin' to warm up," he told her. "Meet me in the tent in 10 minutes?"

"Ok," she answered. She walked away from him taking the banana's with her. She put them down in the small makeshift kitchen. There was fruit and water bottles, and that was about it. Kate wished that they could catch some kind of wild animal. They had run out of airplane food the day before. She didn't know how long they could survive off of just fruit. She laid down in the tent, waiting for Sawyer to return. When he did, she knew the only thing he was wearing was his jeans. He laid down next to her and kissed her lips.

"I thought you came back here to get ready for me," he said quietly.

"I thought you liked undressing me," she smiled. He kissed her again, and began to lift her shirt up and over her head.

"Ok, where the hell is it!?" Boone's voice yelled. He opened the tent flap, and Kate quickly covered up with her shirt.

"Don't you know how to knock?" Sawyer asked. "Get your ass outta here."

"Not until you tell me where the inhalers are," he said sternly. Sawyer shook his head. Boone came into the tent and began searching through Sawyer's stuff.

"Get outta here!" Sawyer yelled. Boone refused to leave so Sawyer lunged at him and began pounding on him.

"Stop it!" Kate yelled. She had put her shirt back on and pulled Sawyer off of Boone. Kate knew where there was some medical supplies and began walk with Boone to where they were being kept.

"Kate?" Locke said behind her.

"Yeah," she looked up from what she was doing and sheilded her eyes from the sun.

"I found something I think you should see," he told her. She looked at him slightly confused, but followed him into the jungle. As they walked she began to get really nervous. They had been walking for about 15 minutes when she heard water running. She looked around the caves and to Locke.

"I just thought that it would be a good place to get fresh water and shelter," he shrugged.

"I guess," she nodded, looking around further and exploring.

"You don't think it's a good idea?" he asked.

"Well, I dunno," she shook her head. "I mean what if rescue comes?" she questioned.

"I guess some of us can stay here and some of us can stay on the beach."

She nodded and then turned her head towards screaming. It was definitely a man's voice, and it sounded a lot like Sawyer. She headed toward the sound. It had stopped. Boone was coming through the trees and bumped into her.

"Kate," he said. "We need your help."

"What?" she asked.

"Sawyer won't tell me where my sister's inhalers are. She has asthma and she needs them. He said he'd tell you."

Boone told Kate where he and Sayid had tied up Sawyer. She saw him and almost gasped when she saw him.

"What did they do to you?" she asked. She began untying him.

"No," he shook his head. "Leave it or they'll know you helped me."

"I don't care," she said. "If they didn't think I'd help you then they're not very smart...Ok just tell me where the medicine is and all of this can be over."

"Kiss me first," he stated. She glanced at him but kissed him. She finished untying him. She could feel the blood trickling down his fingers and brought them, back in front of them. She began examining them.

"Jeez," she whispered.

"Whatever, it don't hurt," he mumbled.

"It must hurt," she replied.

"Well it doesn't," he told her again. He pulled her toward him and into a kiss.

"Ok seriously Sawyer, where's the medicine?" she asked.

"I don't have it," he said. "Never did."

"But the book," she protested. "Boone said that you found it in their luggage."

"Book washed up on shore," he murmured.

"Do you want to be hated?" she asked. "Sawyer...get up."

She helped Sawyer to his feet and they walked toward where Boone and Sayid were sitting.

"He doesn't have it," she told them. "Tell them."

"What do you mean he doesn't have it?" Sayid asked. "He's lying to you Kate."

"Tell them!" she exclaimed. Sawyer didn't tell them or move. Sayid suddenly pulled out a knife and went toward Sawyer. He plunged the knife into Sawyer's arm and Sawyer fell.

Kate bent down and looked at the wound. Sawyer was moving around and groaning.

"Stop moving," Kate said.

"I love you Kate...Just let me die," he whispered.

"No!" she screamed. She didn't know what to do...she only knew that wounds like this probably needed to have pressure put on them. She pulled off her shirt quickly and pressed it against Sawyer's arm. She wrapped it around his arm and looked up at Boone and Sayid. They both carried him back to his tent and set him down. Kate had no idea what she was doing, but she thought if she could sew up Jack, she could sew up Sawyer too. Afterwards she was sitting in the tent. She found an envelope with a letter in it. She didn't want to read it...she knew it was Sawyer's, but she decided that she couldn't take it, and she read it. She must have read it 5 times before she finally realized that the letter wasn't written to Sawyer, but it was written by Sawyer. He turned over and looked at her.

"You could have died," she told him. He noticed the letter in her hand.

"Where the hell did you get that?" he asked grabbing it from her hands.

"I found it," she told him.

"And I'm guessing you read it," he replied. She didn't say anything, but her silence spoke volumes.

"Y'know. I've been trying to figure out why you didn't just tell Boone and Sayid that you didn't have the medicine. You want to be hated. I must have read your letter 8 times...finally I noticed the envelope" she said. "It says American's Bicentenial. You were just a kid. 8, maybe 9."

"Kate," he whispered, and shook his head.

"You wrote this letter didn't you? And your name isn't Sawyer," she guessed.

He told her the story about what happened to him. She looked at him with more sympathy than she had ever felt for anyone.

"Don't," he shook his head. "Don't feel sorry for me for havin' a screwed up childhood. We both had f-ed up lives but I'm over it."

"Obviously you're not if you're still going by Sawyer," she said. "What's your real name?"

"Another day Kate," he told her. She nodded and laid down next to him.

**A/N: I hope this was ok. I'm still gonna have some of the same stuff happen, but obviously I'm going to change it somewhat considering that Jack isn't there. I hope that it's still in character mostly. If you have any suggestions or comments please please let me know!**


	10. Chapter 10

Kate was walking through the jungle. She had just finished filling her bag with mangoes. She heard the sharp snap of a stick behind her. She picked up the rock and threw it.

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" she heard Sawyer yell. She let out a deep breath and rolled her eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Nothin'. I was trying to protect you."

She scoffed slightly and they began to walk again. Kate heard the rushing of water. As they both came through the trees and saw the beautiful waterfall it almost took their breath away. Sawyer smiled at Kate and began to strip his clothes off.

"What are you doin'?" she asked.

"I'm takin' a swim," he answered. "Why don't you join me?"

She smirked, and took her pants off. The look that he was giving her made her blush. The water was cold. She shivered slightly as she ducked her head under the water. Sawyer swam toward her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Sawyer," she whispered. He brought his lips to hers. She kissed him back and wrapped her legs around his waist. He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her again.

"You wanna jump?" he asked.

"What?" she chuckled.

"C'mon," he replied. He dragged Kate to the side of the waterfall and they both climbed up. Sawyer continued to hold her hand and when they got to the top he looked at her with a smile.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded and they jumped off the cliff together. They both swam downward and they both saw the dead bodies. They both swam up and out of the water.

"Are you ok?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "You?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I'm gonna go check them out."

"What?" she asked. "Sawyer."

It was too late he had already drove under the water. She followed him and watched as he took stuff out of the pockets of the dead bodies. When they resurfaced the water and swam to the side, Kate sighed.

"What?" he asked. "What's your problem?"

"Sawyer," she sighed.

"They ain't gonna use this stuff again," he tried to defend himself.

"All it is, is a wallet," she replied. "When the hell are you gonna use a wallet on a desert island?"

"Nevermind," he said. He quickly put his boots back on and began to leave. Kate put her boots on too and followed him.

"Would you wait?" she asked. He slowed down and gave Kate a chance to catch up. When they arrived back on the beach they each went their seperate ways. Sawyer sat down outside of his tent and Kate walked over to talk to Claire.

Over the next several weeks Kate and Sawyer started to drift further and further apart. They were still sleeping in the same tent, and they were still sleeping together, but they weren't connecting anymore.

Michael and Jin had started building the raft. Sawyer knew that he was going to try to get a spot on the raft, but he hadn't told Kate that yet.

Kate was sitting next to Sawyer as he read. He was having really bad headaches. She was just hoping that it was nothing too serious. She had spoken to a couple people about his headaches, but no one seemed to care. Sawyer had alienated pretty much the entire beach. He set the book down and put his head down. Claire stood up and walked toward them.

"I think I might know what's wrong," she said.

"What?" Kate asked.

"My mum...she started having really bad headaches when she would read...she got glasses and the pain went away," Claire responded.

"Of course," Kate nodded.

"I don't need glasses," Sawyer protested. Kate stood up and walked to where they kept all the random supplies. She brought over the glasses and handed him a pair. He groaned and started trying on different glasses. They finally found a pair that Sawyer said would work. Kate looked at Sawyer with a large smile. The glasses were way too big for his face. He rolled his eyes and took the glasses off. She took the glasses from him and placed them back on his face.

"Cute," she stated. He stared at her and then kissed her. He removed his glasses again and continued to kiss her. She stood up and smirked at him.

"I'm gonna go get some fruit," she sighed. Sawyer watched her walk away and then stood up himself. He walked over to where Jin and Michael were continuing to build the raft.

"So, what's the price to get on this boat?" Sawyer asked.

"You wanna come?" Michael questioned.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"What about Kate?" Michael asked.

"She's none of your business," Sawyer answered. "So what do I gotta do to get on the raft?"

"We actually need some supplies," Michael told him.

Sawyer helped Michael and Jin untill Kate came back. She stopped on the beach when she saw him helping with the raft.

"What's going on?" she asked. Sawyer looked down at Kate with some sympathy. He hopped off of the raft and walked over to her.

"I'm going with them," he replied.

"What?" she asked. "W-why?"

"Cuz I have to," he told her.

"I'm coming too then," she replied.

"No," he shook his head. "No you're not coming. You're gonna stay here and be the leader."

"Sawyer," she started.

"You ain't coming," he said quickly. Kate nodded and walked away. She hated being told what to do, and he knew that. She figured that he was just trying to piss her off so that when they said goodbye it wouldn't be as hard, but that was just making her more mad.

That night Kate was laying in the tent. She hadn't spoken to Sawyer since he told her that he was leaving on the raft. He opened the flap and she turned over, not wanting to look at him. He laid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Leave me alone," she whispered.

"Freckles," he started. "We only have a couple days till we're setting sail. I have to go."

"Why?" she asked, flipping over and facing him.

"Because...I'm not a good person Kate. I have to go...I have to do something good for once in my life," he told her. She leaned against his shoulder and let out a deep breath.

"You don't have to do this," she quietly stated.

"Yeah I do," he replied. He kissed the top of Kate's head.

"I'm not saying goodbye," she told him. "I'm horrible at goodbyes, so I'm not doing it."

"Ok," he nodded.

It was the day the raft was going to sail. Danielle had come to their camp and warned them. Locke was going to go to The Black Rock. Along with Dr. Artz, Hurley, and Sayid. Kate decided that she would go too. That morning when she woke up Sawyer was already gone. He was in the jungle she figured. She was saying goodbye to Jin, Michael and Walt. The group going to The Black Rock was ready to go.

"Have you seen Sawyer?" Kate asked Charlie. Charlie shook his head and walked away. Kate sighed and looked at the group who were ready to leave. She nodded and walked with them. They had been walking for 10 minutes when Kate stopped.

"Um, I can't do this," she whispered. "I'll follow you guys, but I have to go back."

"Kate, I do not think that is a good idea," Sayid said. "You should stay with us."

"No," she shook her head. "I'll be able to track you and find you. I can find wherever the hell we're going, but I have to say goodbye."

She turned back around and ran back to the beach. When she arrived they were pushing the raft into the water.

"Wait!" she yelled. She ran toward the raft. Sawyer spotted her and jumped down. She ran toward him and flung her arms around him.

"I had to say goodbye," she whispered.

"Everything is gonna be fine Freckles," he replied. "You're gonna be fine."

"Be safe," she said. "Come back. Don't forget about us."

"I never would," he answered.

"I love you," she stated kissing his lips and hugging him again.

"I love you too Freckles," he nodded. He tucked the stray pieces of Kate's hair behind her ears and gave her another short and soft kiss.

"Bye," she sniffled. He nodded again and got back on the raft. Kate sighed and walked back toward where she came from. She picked up her pace and found the path that she was on moments before. She began to run and came upon the group just as they found The Black Rock.

**A/N: Ok...so I know I definitely jumped way ahead. I'm going to have things move ahead quickly, untill it gets past the 3rd season. Then obviously new stuff will happen...anyway please R & R!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So yeah...sorry that the previous chapter went so quickly...I'm gonna slow it down. It's still gonna be kinda fast, but it'll be slower than the previous chapter.**

Kate walked back to the beach after they found Desmond in the hatch. She was exhausted and all she wanted to do was get to her own bed and back to Sawyer. When she approached the tent she remembered that Sawyer was gone. She had forgotten. She ducked into the tent and laid down. She grabbed the first soft thing she could find to use as a pillow. When she scrunched it up and placed it under her head, she could smell that it was Sawyer's shirt. She missed him already, but having his scent under her head comforted her.

During the next few days she tried to get back to her normal routine. She would hang out with Claire and help her with the baby. She would make trips down to the hatch and keep her self occupied by pressing the button every 108 minutes.

She was sitting on the airplane seats, reading one of Sawyer's books. She wasn't really paying attention to what she was reading, but just pretending to read was enough to keep her mind off of Sawyer. She could tell that Sun was worrying about Jin. She looked up and saw Sun looking out toward the water.

"Hey Sun," Kate called.

"Hi," Sun replied.

"You know it's only been a few days."

"Stop," Sun scoffed. "I don't need anyone telling me that they're ok because they're not. Claire found the bottle...with the messages in it."

"Where is it?" Kate asked standing up and walking toward Sun.

"It's buried," she responded.

"You gotta take me to it," Kate begged. Sun saw tears, already beginning to form in Kate's eyes and walked with her toward where she buried the bottle. When they got there both Sun and Kate began to dig. When they got to the bottle Kate began to open the notes.

"Kate!" Sun exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"I just-" she started. "I miss him...Maybe as much as you miss Jin."

"I understand," Sun nodded. "He loves you Kate."

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm just glad we were able to say goodbye."

Sun saw a note in the sand that had scibbling on it, and it said 'To Freckles'.

"Kate," Sun said. She picked up the note and handed it to Kate. She began to read...it was short and sweet.

To Freckles-Keep the bed warm. Love James.

Kate held the note in her hand and took a deep breath.

"They're alive," she told Sun. "I know it."

* * *

It was the next day. Hurley and Charlie had gotten Kate to play a game of golf. Everyone was happy that Hurley had decided to build the golf course...it definitely gave them something to do. People were definitely starting to get stir crazy. 

"Ok so watch this shot," Charlie said. He hit the ball and it went deep into the jungle. Kate and Hurley both let out loud and hard laughs.

"Pathetic," Hurley jeered.

"Oh yeah, you think you could do better mate?" Charlie asked.

"Oh I know I could do better," Hurley replied.

"Hey guys," Kate interrupted. "Maybe we should go find the ball...I mean there's not very many and if we lose them all we'll be outta luck."

Kate, Hurley, and Charlie made their way into the jungle. Charlie spotted the ball first and headed over to it.

"I guess I have to hit it from here eh?" Charlie asked. Kate and Hurley both smiled and nodded. Kate was watching as Charlie bent down to set up the shot. She saw a large black man with what looked like a large rag doll draped over his shoulder.

"Where is Kate?" the man asked.

Kate breathed in deep and walked over to where the man had stopped. She lead the way to the hatch, with Eko following closely behind, and Hurley and Charlie trailing. When they got into the hatch Eko put Sawyer down and began to leave.

"Wait," she said. "Where are you going?"

"Back to where I came from," he replied.

"Please, what happened?" she asked.

"I believe he has been shot. On the way to your camp he kept muttering the name Kate."

Kate swallowed hard and then looked down at Sawyer, who was barely conscious. Charlie and Hurley helped Kate get Sawyer into the shower.

"He has a fever," Kate whispered.

"Did Jack's knowledge go into your brain Kate?" Charlie asked.

"No," she scoffed. "I just know he feels warm and he's got a fever. We have to bring it down. Hurley can you go get all the medical supplies you can find?"

Hurley nodded and disappeared from the shower room. Charlie helped Kate hold Sawyer up and helped her strip him and get him into the bed.

"Sawyer?" she whispered. "You have to hang on ok? Don't die."

Hurley came back in record time for him, and handed Kate a bag full of medical supplies. She knew that she had to keep the wound dry and clean so she took a piece of the gause and placed it on the wound. He winced, which to her was a good sign because he was still awake at least. He was shaking, which Kate had no idea what that meant, but she knew it couldn't be good. Jack would be really helpful right now. She looked through the medicine and decided that she should give him something...if nothing else for the pain. She looked at some of the drugs and nothing sounded familiar.

"Dude that one," Hurley stated, pointing one of the bottles.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"My mom, she broke her ankle, that's what they gave her," he replied.

"Hurley I think a bullet wound, that's infected is a little different than a broken ankle."

"Well it's the best information we got right?" he asked. "It's an antibiotic."

"Wait," she whispered. "Antibiotic...I think I remember. Remember that guy on the first day...that guy who had the shrapnel in his chest. The one that Jack tried to save. He gave him an antibiotic. I can't remember the name of it. O-something. Of-"

"Ofloxacin?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah!" Kate exclaimed. "How did you know?"

He handed her a bottle of medicine and she looked at it.

"This is what we're giving him," she replied. She stood in front of Sawyer and sighed.

"Charlie can you hold him up?" she asked. Charlie nodded and helped hold Sawyer up. Kate positioned herself in front of Sawyer and looked at him for a minute.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "It's your Freckles. I'm gonna give you a pill and you gotta swallow it ok?"

She put the pill in his mouth and then tilted the water into his mouth. He coughed and nearly coughed out the pill, but he swallowed it.

"Good," she smiled. Charlie got out from behind Sawyer and patted Kate on the shoulder. She sat down in the chair next to his bed and took his hand in hers. She kissed his hand and continued to rub it with her thumb. She could hear the rain outside, and sat with Sawyer the rest of the night. She barely heard it when people would come in and out of the hatch to get food or to come for their hatch duty.

"Kate!" she heard someone yelling her name. She looked up and toward the sound.

"Hmm?" she asked.

"I just-Kate," Charlie was standing in front of her with a sad look on his face.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Shannon," he mumbled. "She, she was shot."

"Is she ok?" Kate asked. "Bring her here. We can help her."

"No," he shook his head. "Kate, she's dead."

"Oh no," she whispered. "Is Sayid ok?"

"Not really. This woman Ana Lucia shot her. It was an accident, but Shannon's still dead, so Sayid's pretty pissed."

"Yeah," Kate nodded.

"Anyway we have new guests on the beach. They were survivors from the tail section. There's Ana Lucia, oh and Libby, and oh yeah...Rose's husband...he's white."

Kate let out a small chuckle, at the way that Charlie said it. It was the first time she had smiled since Sawyer was brought back.

"How about you go get some sleep?" Charlie asked. "You've been awake for 24 hours."

"It doesn't matter. Nothing will matter if he's not ok," she told him.

"Well, then why don't you go get him some fruit?" he offered. "You need to get out Kate. Get away from this."

Kate nodded and sighed, and then reluctantly began to leave.

"Hey Charlie," she began. "Do you mind changing the bandage?"

"Sure thing," he nodded. "I'm on it."

Kate nodded again and disappeared through the hatch door. When she got out of the hatch she fell to her knees into tears. She had held in all her emotions for the day she had been taking care of Sawyer. All her attention had been focused on helping Sawyer get better. She put her hands up to her face and sobbed.

"Kate?" Locke asked. She looked up at him and forced a smile.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I have to go."

She walked away from Locke and went off to find some fresh fruit for Sawyer. As she walked she saw the horse. She immediately thought back to Wayne and her mother. She started walking toward the horse and before she got to it, it ran away.

Back in the hatch Charlie changed the bandage on Sawyer's shoulder. As he leaned over Sawyer, he could hear him whispering.

"Where is she?" Sawyer said almost inaudibly.

"She's alright mate," Charlie replied. "She just went to get you some fruit. She's spent the past 24 hours lookin' after you."

"I love her," he whispered.

"I know," Charlie nodded. "It's gonna be ok mate."

"Tell her," he whispered again. Charlie nodded and sat down to wait for Kate. When she returned she went right back to her spot, next to Sawyer's bed.

"Did he say anything?" she asked.

"Yeah actually," Charlie replied. "He told me to tell you he loves you."

"I love you too James," she said and bent down to kiss his forehead. He was definitely a lot better from what he was yesterday, but without a real doctor she didn't know if he was out of the woods yet. Charlie stood up.

"I'm gonna go up for the funeral," he told her.

"Of course," she nodded. "Let Sayid know that I'm sorry I can't be there."

Charlie nodded and disappeared through the hatch door. She was left alone now with Sawyer. He was whispering and stirring in his sleep. She quickly stood up and leaned over him.

"Sawyer, can you hear me?" she asked. He didn't answer, but continued to whisper incoherently. She looked at him confused. Suddenly he grabbed her by the throat.

"Why did you kill me?" he asked. She quickly got away from him and ran from the hatch. At this point she was so confused she didn't know what to do. She was wondering in the jungle and sat down by herself. When she was sitting there she continued to think about her past.

"Kate," she heard a voice behind her. This time she knew she was crazy, because it sounded just like Jack. She carefully turned to face the voice and saw Jack standing in front of her.

"Am I crazy?" she whispered.

"No," he shook his head and laughed. "Just get back to the hatch. You left Sawyer by himself."

She gasped and breathed in deep before running through the jungle. She ran back to the hatch and when she got there Locke and Hurley were helping Sawyer into the bed.

"What happened Kate?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know," she shook her head and sniffled. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"It's ok Kate," Charlie replied. "You're just tired. You need some sleep."

"Maybe you're right," she nodded.

"I know I'm not a doctor Kate, but you're definitely sleep deprived," Charlie half chuckled. Kate nodded and looked back at Sawyer. She took his hand again and Charlie left the hatch. Locke went with him.

After a few minutes Sawyer began to toss and turn again.

"Sawyer?" she asked. "Wayne. I'm probably crazy and this doesn't matter, but maybe you're in there somehow. But you asked me a question. You asked me why I -- why I did it. It wasn't because you drove my father away, or the way you looked at me, or because you beat her. It's because I hated that you were a part of me -- that I would never be good. That I would never have anything good. And every time that I look at Sawyer -- every time I feel something for him -- I see you, Wayne. It makes me sick."

"That's about the sweetest thing I've ever heard," Sawyer answered.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Who the hell is Wayne?" he asked.

She chuckled and took his hand again. She bent down and kissed him softly on the lips. She backed away and he smiled up at her.

"Do that again," he whispered. "Just watch the shoulder."

She smiled again and bent back down to kiss him.

"So are we saved?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "Not yet."

Kate helped Sawyer into a standing position and supported some of his weight as they walked from the hatch. He was still arguing with her over whether they've been saved or not. When they got back to the beach, after coming across the horse again, everyone greeted Sawyer. She helped him into their tent and laid down next to him. She kept smiling and chuckling at him.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You need a hair cut," she told him. He smiled back at her and pulled her closer with his good arm.

"Thank you for telling me your name," she whispered.

"I didn't," he scoffed.

"The bottle washed up on shore," she informed him.

"And you read the messages?" he asked. "That's pathetic Freckles."

"I only read yours, and only because it said To Freckles. Otherwise I would have just left it."

"Well did you keep the bed warm?" he asked.

"I dunno, you tell me," she mumbled, beginning to drift off to sleep. He kissed her on the forehead and closed his eyes.

"I think you need a good night's sleep," he told her. She would have answered, but she was already asleep.

**A/N: Please please let me know what you think, and R & R!**


	12. Chapter 12

"Stop being such a baby," Kate stated. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

"No," he said. "Your gonna cut my ear off."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Just hold your head still and let me finish. I've already started and if you don't let me finish it's gonna look stupid."

Kate continued to cut his hair. As people passed by they waved at Sawyer and told him that they were glad he was ok. Kate chuckled a couple times and Sawyer sighed. When she was done he went into the tent.

"Where are you going?" she asked. He came back holding the mirror and checking his new haircut.

"It looks perfect," Kate chuckled. She grabbed the mirror from him, and he grabbed her into a hug and then kissed her.

"Ok stud, time for your medicine," Kate gently pushed against Sawyer and they went back into their tent to get his medication. Sawyer took his pill and then trapped Kate with his legs. He kissed her softly and flipped them so he was on top of her. She inavertently put her hands on either of his shoulders. He groaned in pain and rolled off of her.

"Son of a bitch," he mumbled, clutching his shoulder with his other hand.

"I'm sorry," she stated softly.

"It ain't your fault Freckles," he answered. He was laying on his side facing her. He reached out and touched her face.

"I missed this a lot," he told her quietly.

"Me too," she nodded. "I never realized that I needed you next to me to sleep."

"If it makes you feel any better I didn't sleep much on the raft, or after Rambina and her little amigos captured us."

"So how are those people. Are they good?" she asked.

"Well aside from Ana Lulu stomping on my shoulder and treatin' me like some sort of criminal, they're cool. The rest of them are alright I guess. It was quite a shocker when Bernie told us that his wife was Rose."

"Bernie?" she asked.

"As in Bernard," he explained. She smiled at him and kissed his lips. "You wanna try again?"

"Try what?" she asked with a small scoff. He grabbed Kate by the sides and rolled her over on top of him.

"Just stay away from my shoulder," he warned. She smiled down at him and kissed him.

"Kate," a voice called from outside of their tent. Kate sat up, and Sawyer let out a small, annoyed grumble. She pushed the tent flap back and looked up at Sayid.

"Hey Sayid," she said.

"I just wanted to let you know that me and Locke are going into the jungle," he stated.

"What?" she asked. "Why are you telling us?"

"Michael. He went after Walt," Sayid told them. "So we're going after both of them...with the guns from the hatch."

"I'm coming," Sawyer said, forcing himself to stand up.

"Don't be ridiculous," Kate scoffed. "You can barely walk."

"I'm goin'," he replied.

"No you're not," she argued.

"Kate, you know that you can't win an arguement with me," he answered. "So I'm goin'."

"No you're not," she repeated. "But I am."

She stood up quicker than Sawyer could and Sayid handed her a gun.

"Ok, then," Sayid said. "Do not worry about Kate. John and I will take care of her."

Sawyer nodded, still annoyed and watched them leave. Little did any of them know, he was going to follow them, and try to help anyway.

As Kate, Locke, and Sayid made their way into the jungle no one really talked. Kate helped track Michael's footprints. As it began to get dark, they all started having trouble seeing which direction Michael's tracks were going. Locke and Kate both stopped. They knew they weren't going to be able to track in the dark.

"Why are we stopping?" Sayid asked.

"We can't track in the dark," Kate answered. "We should probably turn back."

"So we are just going to leave Michael?" Sayid asked.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Locke replied. "We're not going to be able to get him to come back."

"You know, he's right Sayid Jarrah," a voice said from behind them. They all turned toward the man and let out breaths.

"What do you want?" Kate asked. "Who are you?"

"Woah, Kate," he said putting his hands up. "You're the ones trespassing on our island."

"We crashed here, it's not like we had a choice," she scoffed.

"Kate, shut up," Locke stated, pulling her back. "Don't say anything stupid."

"You should probably listen to your friend. You wouldn't want us to have to hurt your boyfriend. Bring him out!"

Kate stepped back and gasped as Sawyer was pushed through the trees. He his hand were tied behind his back and he had a hood over his head. The man lifted the hood off of Sawyer's head.

"What do you want?" Kate whispered.

"How about your guns to start?" he asked. None of them moved. Mr. Friendly held up his own gun and pointed it to Sawyer's temple. He had a firm grip on Sawyer's shoulder. Kate could tell that Sawyer was in a lot of pain, but he was trying not to show it.

"Ok," Kate nodded. She put her gun at Friendly's feet and waited for Sayid and Locke to give their guns. Mr. Friendly pushed Sawyer toward the group and left them there. Kate untied Sawyer's wrists and then flung her arms around him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm alright Freckles."

"Good," she shoved him away. She began to hit him and yell at him at the same time. "What the hell were you doing! You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"Easy there Freckles," he said putting his hand up to stop her. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "You should be."

The group made their way back to the beach in almost complete silence. Kate refused to talk or even look at Sawyer. They got to the beach and Sawyer stopped. He took Kate by the arm and forced her to look at him.

"I'm sorry ok," he said quietly.

"Sawyer you could have died," she whispered. "I already almost lost you once. I can't go through that again."

"I know," he nodded. He pulled her into a hug. "I'm just-I thought I could follow you and help."

"First of all you can't track worth a damn and you know that. Second of all obviously you got caught. How did you get caught anyway?"

"A couple of the guys. They forced me down and tied me up before I could even begin to fight back," he answered.

"How's your shoulder?" she asked.

"It's killin' me," he replied honestly. She ducked into the tent, and Sawyer followed close behind. She handed Sawyer the bottle of medicine and stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she answered shaking her head.

"Come on Freckles," he urged. "Tell me why you're lookin' at me."

"I don't know," she replied. "I'm just thinking."

"About?" he asked.

"Jack," she whispered.

"What do you mean Jack?" he asked. "You barely knew the guy."

"I know," she nodded. "But-how different would things be if he was still here? I mean he'd be taking care of you. And he would have all the medical supplies. And I dunno. Things would just be a lot different."

"Yeah," he responded. "And I'd prolly be dead."

"What?" she asked. "You're crazy. You'd probably be a lot better. But you would have had some competition."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he questioned.

"He was a little bit flirtatious toward me," she smirked. "I dunno. Who knows, maybe he would have swept me off my feet and taken me into his own tent."

"If there's one thing I'm sure of Freckles, it's that Jack was never gonna be competition for me," he answered. "I mean if you're gonna leave me for someone at least choose someone with brains and witt like Sayid."

"Or Charlie," she chuckled.

"That little hobbit?" he asked. "Please."

"I dunno, he's a real sweetheart, and he's cute," she said.

"Sorry to burst your bubble Freckles, but I think he only has eyes for Missy Claire," he stated. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. "What was that for?"

"Because you're so adorable and sweet."

"Well thanks," he replied.

They both fell asleep with their arms around each other. Sawyer continuously ran his hand up and down her back, and she played with his newly cut hair. The next morning Sawyer woke up and looked at Kate sleeping soundly and quietly in front of him. He kissed her nose, and then moved down to her neck and chest, and finally her lips. She smiled softly and kissed him back.

"What was that for?" she asked quietly.

"You just looked like an angel sleepin' there Freckles," he stated.

"Then why did you wake me up?" she chuckled.

"Had to," he answered. "I just couldn't keep my lips off of you."

"Good answer," she whispered. She kissed him again and he began to lift her shirt up over her head.

"Freckles I got an idea."

"What?" she questioned with her eyebrows raised.

"The guns. The ones that are left in the hatch. We should take them."

"What?" Kate repeated.

"We should take the guns from the hatch. I mean they stole 5 of ours in the jungle. But we have a ton left. All those guns in the hatch plus the one Boone and Locke found."

"And you want to keep them from everyone else?" she scoffed. "No. No way."

"I'm doin' this with or without your help," he told her. "But at least you know."

"James," she whispered. "What are you thinking? You can't just hide the guns."

"Yeah...I kinda can," he replied. "Don't tell me what I can't do."

"Ok 'Locke'," Kate scoffed. She stood up and left the tent. "Oh and by the way Sawyer...Locke has the gun that he found, and I don't really see him giving it up."

Kate walked away from the tent and down the beach. They spent most of the day apart.

Later that night Kate could hear commotion coming from behind her. Locke, and Sayid were standing in front of Sawyer. Sawyer had a large rifle slung over his shoulder.

"There's a new sharrif in town boys, ya'll best get used to it," Sawyer stated, and he walked mysteriously back into the jungle. Kate didn't really understand why he wasn't going back to the tent, but she rolled her eyes and watched him leave.

"Kate, did you know about this?" Sayid asked.

"Sayid I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I didn't want to have any part of it. I should have told you, but I just-I actually didn't expect him to take them today."

"You should have told us Kate," Locke stated.

"I know," she nodded. "I'm sorry. It's just-Sawyer is finally starting to act like his old self again."

"Yes, like getting himself captured."

"I'm sorry ok?" she asked. "I should have said something. But here's the deal...whenever you want a gun just tell me and I'll get him to give me one."

"I want a gun," Sayid stated.

"You have a gun Sayid," Kate scoffed. "I know that you and Locke each have one, so just drop it and let Sawyer have his fun."

Locke and Sayid left Kate standing by herself. She ducked into the tent and laid down. Sawyer came back about 15 minutes later and laid down. He put his arms around Kate. She moved away from him, and in doing so hit his shoulder.

"Ow!" he yelled. "Son of a bitch!"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled.

"What's your problem Kate?" he asked.

"What's my problem?" she scoffed. "The entire beach is pissed off at me because of what you did."

"Did ya tell 'em you didn't have anything to do with it?" he questioned.

"Well yeah, but by me not telling them anything...I could have told them and I didn't," she sighed.

"Why not Freckles?" he asked. "You'd think if you really didn't want me to have the guns, you would've said somethin'."

She didn't say anything, but didn't protest when he tried again to pull her toward him. He trailed kisses along her neck, and his hand made it's way toward the top of her underwear.

"What are you doing Sawyer?" she whispered.

"You know exactly what I'm doing," he told her. Has his hand found the inside of her underwear, she didn't protest. She let him do whatever he wanted.

The next morning Kate woke up with Sawyer's arm still draped around her. She took his wrist in her hand and lifted his arm up. He woke up and squeezed her into a hug.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

She got out from under his grip and began to leave the tent.

"Where are you goin'?" he asked.

"I have to go to the bathroom...do you mind?" she asked.

He laid back down and closed his eyes. He expected her to come back quickly, but she didn't. Instead she went down the beach and sat down. She didn't feel the person coming up behind her.

"Kate," Ana Lucia began.

"Hi," she mumbled.

"So I hear your boyfriend stole all the guns," she continued.

"Yep," Kate nodded.

"So you wanna give me one or tell me where he's keepin' them?" she asked.

"Well I don't exactly know where he's keeping them, and I'm not going to get one from him either," Kate replied.

"Sayid told me that you would. He said that you would get one for anyone who needed one," Ana Lucia said.

"Sayid was mistaken," she answered. "I said that I would get one for Sayid or Locke. Not from you. Sawyer could have died because of you."

"I don't think it would have been my fault. I didn't shoot him," she argued.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not getting you a damn gun," Kate scoffed.

"Well I'll just have to get one myself now won't I?" Ana Lucia asked. She walked away from Kate who continued to look out at the water.

Sawyer stood up and walked into the jungle. Ana Lucia followed him, believing that he would lead her to the guns. She followed him at some distance, but she stepped on a stick and it snapped loudly.

"Alright. Come out, come out who ever you are," Sawyer said. "I know you're there." Ana Lucia stepped out from the trees and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I don't think that's any of your business."

"Maybe not," she nodded. "But can you at least give me a gun."

"No," he chuckled. "I don't think so."

"Give me one now!" she exclaimed.

"Are you crazy?" he asked. She walked towards him and grabbed at the gun. He chuckled as she stumbled. He turned around, and started to leave, when she grabbed him and tackled him to the ground. He rolled over on top of her and overpowered her.

"Now whatcha gonna do?" he asked. She leaned up and kissed his mouth hard. He kissed back for a minute, and then stopped.

"Bastard," Kate whispered. He looked up and watched as Kate ran off.

"Kate!" he yelled. "Dammit."

He stood up and ran off after her, leaving his shirt and gun behind. He caught up to her quickly and tackled her when he got close enough.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Get off of me!"

She struggled underneath him, and tried to hit him several times, but he had pinned her arms above her head.

"Just listen to me Kate," he stated.

"No!" she screamed. "Leave me alone! I never want to see you again!"

She was able to get out from under him and ran back toward the beach. When she got to the tent she began to get all of her stuff together. Sayid and Hurley both saw her and heard her sobbing. They carefully approached her.

"Kate are you alright?" Sayid asked.

"I'm fine," she sniffled. "I just need a tent."

"Well, actually Jack's tent is still vacant," Sayid told her. "I am sure no one would mind if you moved into it."

"Thanks," she nodded. She thought about the man in the hatch. They had found him a few days ago. Sayid was pretty much in charge of what happened to him. He had an arrow through his shoulder. It reminded all of them of Sawyer's wound. They all knew that Ana Lucia had some sort of vendetta against the man, but none of them really paid attention to it. Then she thought of Michael. He had come back a few days ago. He was even worse than before he left. He was walking around like some sort of zombie. They all knew something was wrong. Michael helped Kate, Sayid and Hurley move her stuff into Jack's old tent. She was getting the last of her stuff when she saw something sticking out of the sand. She pulled at it but it didn't move. She began to uncover it.

"Sayid!" Kate exclaimed. Sayid came running toward her. He knelt down as she uncovered the stash of guns. She knew that Sawyer had moved some of his stuff from his stash into the tent, but she had no idea that he had put the guns under their bed. She half expected Michael to have followed to, but he hadn't.

"Thank you, Kate," Sayid said.

"For what?" she asked.

"For telling me," he responded. "You could have kept this to yourself, and protected Sawyer, but you chose to tell me. Thank you."

"Where's Michael?" she questioned, looking around.

"Oh, he said something about going to the hatch to relieve Ana Lucia from her duty."

"Oh," she nodded.

"Sayid!" Sawyer called, coming out of the jungle. "We have a problem."

"What is that?" Sayid asked. "That you have been sleeping on top of the guns?"

"No...we have a bigger problem than that," he answered. "Ana Lucia took my gun. She went in the direction of the hatch."

Kate, Sayid, and Sawyer all made their way back into the jungle. On the way there they bumped into Locke and he came too. He was going a lot slower than normal since he was on crutches. Sawyer complained the entire time. When they came to the hatch Michael stumbled out of the hatch.

"He shot me," Michael told them. "Bastard shot me."

"What about Ana Lucia?" Kate asked. "Isn't she in there?"

"He shot her too...she wasn't moving," he responded. Kate, Sayid and Sawyer ran into the hatch, with Michael trailing behind. Kate walked over to Ana Lucia and checked for a pulse. She jerked her hand away like she'd been shocked and then looked back at Sayid and Sawyer.

"She's dead," Kate whispered. Sawyer had bent down next to Libby's body and went to check her pulse. He was almost touching her when she coughed hard and blood spattered all over Sawyer and the floor. Sawyer jumped back and gasped. He didn't know what to do. Sayid and Sawyer both helped lift Libby carefully onto the bed. None of them knew what to do. Sawyer decided he'd go tell Hurley, because if anyone deserved to say goodbye it was the big grape ape. Sayid and Kate tried to get Libby as comfotable as possible. Sayid helped Michael extract the bullet from his shoulder, and bandage it up. When Hurley came into the hatch he sat down next to where Libby was laying and took her hand in his. They all knew that if Jack had been alive, he would have been able to do something more. But all they could do was wait...as she suffered. Hurley began to sob as Libby took her last breath. Sayid was standing behind the larger man and placed a hand on his shoulder. They both knew what it was like to bury and lose someone they loved. Kate was sitting at the table. She wrapped her arms around herself and began to sob too. Sawyer was watching her from a far. He didn't know if she even wanted him to look at her, but he stood up and walked over to where she was sitting. He hesitated slightly before sitting down and putting his arms around her. He half expected her to move away from him and try to hide her tears...but she didn't. She turned toward him and let him hold her.

Later that night they all made their way back up to the beach. They were going to bury Libby first thing in the morning. Kate walked away from Sawyer's tent. He grabbed her by the hand.

"Don't," he whispered. "Don't leave."

"Sawyer I just can't tonight," she said quietly. "I'm sleeping in my own tent tonight."

"It was just a kiss...and it was a mistake," he told her.

"Yeah well," Kate began. A small smile began to play on her lips. "At least she went out with a bang."

He gave her a small smirk too and stepped toward her. She began to move away but he pulled her into a hug. She sniffled against his shoulder and backed away.

"I just have to sleep alone tonight ok?" she asked. "I'm still mad at you."

"Can I say something?" he questioned. She nodded. "If there's one thing you should learn from all this Freckles...it's that you should never stay mad at anyone. The last thing I said about Lucy was that she was a bitch for taking my gun."

"As much as I hate to admit it, especially now that she's dead, but Ana Lucia is a bitch."

"Correction Kate...she was a bitch. But everyone deserves to be remembered for something good."

"What good has she done?" Kate asked.

"Well she's a good kisser," Sawyer offered, somewhat jokingly. Kate gave him a small smile and stepped away from him.

"Goodnight," she whispered. She began to walk away from him.

"Freckles," he called. "I thought you couldn't sleep without me next to you."

"I'll manage," she mumbled. She walked back to Jack's tent and laid down on the bed that Sayid had helped her make. It took her a while to fall asleep and she knew that Sawyer was having just as hard of a time falling asleep. She'd have to talk to him the next day


	13. Chapter 13

Kate walked out of her new tent the next morning. She had tossed and turned all night and hardly got any sleep. She had every intention of finding Sawyer and talking to him. Michael quickly approached her and stopped her from walking toward Sawyer's tent.

"Hey," she said. "You ok?"

"We have to go get Walt. They killed our people and we have to go get Walt back."

"O-k," she nodded.

"No," he shook his head. "Please Kate. You gotta come."

"Alright," she answered. "Ok I will."

"Sawyer and Hurley have to come too," Michael told her. "But no one else."

"What do you mean no one else?" she asked.

"It has to be just the 4 of us," he replied.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because any more than that and something might happen to Walt. This is all about saving my son and I don't want them thinking that we're gonna take them over."

"Well aren't we?" she asked.

"Of course," he nodded. "We just have to make them think that we're not very strong."

"I think that Sayid should come," she stated.

"No!" he exclaimed. "No one else. Just-make sure Sawyer will come."

"I'll talk to Sawyer, but I can pretty much gaurantee you that he won't want to come."

"Please Kate," Michael pleaded. "I've already got Hurley coming. You have to get Sawyer to come."

"Like I said. I'll try. But if you didn't notice, we haven't exactly been on the best of terms."

Kate walked away from Michael and toward Sawyer's tent. Sawyer was laying in his tent and had heard Kate and Michael talking. She pulled back the flap on his tent and waited for him to say something.

"Ok," he mumbled. "When are we leavin'?"

"What?" she asked.

"I heard you and Mikey talkin'," he replied. "I ain't lettin' you go out in the jungle alone with two guys who can barely take care of themselves, let alone you-"

"I can take care of myself," she scoffed. "And from our last trip into the jungle, seems to me that you need the looking after."

"Well nonetheless, I ain't lettin' you go alone with those two guys, so yeah I'll come. When are we leavin'?"

"I guess tomorrow," she whispered. "I'm gonna go help Sayid dig the graves. You comin' to the funerals?"

"See ya then Freckles," he responded.

"Can't we just talk?" she asked.

"There ain't nothin' to say," he stated. "Cuz I'm not sorry for what I did. I didn't do anything wrong."

"You were kissing her!" she yelled.

"She kissed me," he answered.

"And you kissed her back. I saw you...you were on top, and you didn't back away when she pushed her lips into yours."

"Fine," he mumbled. "It was all my fault. Prolly my fault that those two ladies died down in the hatch too. In fact if it weren't for me Jack would prolly still be alive, and maybe he could have saved Boone."

"Stop," she said quietly.

"Actually the plane crash was my fault too. I forced them-"

"Stop it!" she screamed. "Fine. Just drop it. Sayid asked me to ask you to help us dig the graves...I guess come if you want."

She walked out of the tent and toward where Sayid was standing.

"I think we should dig right about here," Sayid told her. Kate nodded and began to dig. A few minutes later Sawyer joined them, but they only had 2 shovels. They decided to take turns. There was a particularly awkward moment when Kate was handing Sawyer the shovel and their fingers brushed against each others. Kate sat down in the sand and watched Sayid and Sawyer. When they were done digging the graves, Sawyer went back towards his spot by his tent. Sayid began to walk and gather people for the actual funerals.

Sawyer stopped Sayid and told him about going into the jungle. They both agreed that Sayid would be coming too. Sayid walked away from Sawyer's tent. Kate had heard the conversation. She walked over to Sawyer and kicked his foot to get his attention.

"You shouldn't have told him. Michael said that it should be just the 4 of us. Walt is his son. It has to be up to him."

"Well excuse me Freckles, but if we're going into a war, I think it might be a good idea for us to have someone who's actually been in a war."

"If something get's screwed up-" she began.

"Well then you'll know who to blame," he stated sternly looking at her. She rolled her eyes and left.

After Sayid spoke with Michael and agreed not to go on the trip he went to find Kate.

"Kate," he said approaching her.

"Yeah," she looked up and gave him a small smile.

"I believe that Michael has been compromised."

"What do you mean?" she asked. As they walked to the funerals, Sayid explained his theory about Michael. He also explained how she couldn't tell anyone, not even Sawyer, that they were on to Michael.

After the funerals and Desmond came back, Kate went back to Jack's old tent. Sawyer watched her leave, but didn't dare follow her.

The next morning the group of 4 went off into the jungle. Michael and Kate took the lead with Sawyer following close behind, and Hurley trying his best to keep up with the other physically fit people. They hadn't been walking very long when Kate heard Sawyer whispering.

"Kate," he whispered.

"What?" she turned around slightly annoyed. Michael kept walking.

"We're bein' followed," he told her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean we're bein' followed," he repeated. "Right across...over there."

He pointed with his head. Kate looked without turning her head and continued to walk.

"I'm shooting."

"Sawyer, don't," she whispered. But he didn't listen. He began shooting and hit only one of them. Sawyer began to run in the direction the man was running.

"Sawyer stop!" Kate yelled.

"He's getting away. They'll know we're coming."

"They already know," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Right Michael."

Michael looked at her like she was crazy.

"Tell them Michael."

She turned around and tackled him to the ground. Sawyer felt a small stab of envy watching Kate tackle and overpower someone other than himself.

"Tell them," she demanded again.

"I had to," he said. "They gave me a list with three names. Your names. They said if I didn't bring all of you...I'd never see Walt again."

"Did-Did you kill Ana Lucia and Libby?" Hurley asked with a frown. "Did you?"

"I had to," he repeated. "I'm sorry. Libby was an accident."

Kate got up off of Michael and looked at Sawyer who had a tiny glint in his eyes. She knew that having one of their own kill another one of their own was hard for any of them to hear. She looked away from Sawyer and back toward Michael.

"Let's just go," she mumbled.

"No way! They're just gonna kill us!" Hurley exclaimed. "I'm going back!"

"Hurley you're a day away from camp. It's just safer to stick all together. Let's just go and see what they want.

As they walked further and came to the clearing no one said anything. They could all hear the whispering. Sawyer went down first, making Kate scream his name and run toward him.

They had been captured. They were all walking somewhere. Kate felt that whatever they were walking on was a hard, flat surface, and she could feel and hear that the breeze was stronger. They were all forced to the ground and the bags were taken off their heads. Kate saw Sawyer's scowl as Michael and Walt were reunited and drove off in the boat, just leaving them there. Hurley was let go. Kate and Sawyer were back under the hoods, and being taken somewhere else.

When Kate woke up she was laying on a couch in a nice house. She sat up and looked around.

"Kate...don't be scared," a person said next to her. She looked over and saw a blonde lady sitting next to her.

"Where's Sawyer?" she asked.

"Don't worry," she said. "He's fine."

"Where am I then?" she questioned. "What do you people want?"

"Well first of all, why don't you go take a shower, and I'll explain when you come back," Juliet answered. Juliet handed her a towel and pointed toward the bathroom. Kate took her shower and began to cry. She didn't know if she was crying because she was scared, or crying because she was glad to be alive. Afterwards she came out of the bathroom to see all her clothes were gone. There was a dress hanging on the back of the bathroom door. There was no other explination necessary. It was her only choice. She absolutely hated dresses. They made her feel small and meek. She came out of the bathroom and saw Sawyer sitting on the couch. He looked dirty and tired, but he was definitely still breathing.

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. She ran over to him and flung her arms around him. He didn't even move.

"You ok Freckles," he mumbled.

"Yeah," she replied. She wrinkled her forehead, confused. "Are you?"

"We're bein' watched," he whispered. "They told me if I touched you they'd kill you."

Kate sighed and put her hands on his cheeks.

"Well they didn't tell me that," she whispered. She kissed his lips. He pushed her away.

"Kate," he whispered. "They're watching us."

"Where?" she asked. He pointed to two seperate cameras that weren't hidden. He figured there could probably be much more than that.

"Nice dress by the way," he murmured. She let out a small chuckle and took him by the hand. He pulled his hand away and looked at her seriously.

"I want to touch you Freckles," he whispered really quietly. "I'm sorry I yelled at ya the other day. I was just pissed. I want to hold you and tell you everything's ok, but-"

"It's ok," she nodded. "We can just talk."

"I don't think we can even do that," he mumbled almost incoherently. "I think there are microphones too."

"I have an idea," she whispered. She stood up and went into the kitchen area. She tried to find something to write with and write on. Luckily there was a pad of paper and pen in one of the drawers. She gasped in excitement and walked back over to where Sawyer was sitting. She began to write. She handed Sawyer the pad of paper and he read.

I'm sorry too. I'm not mad at you anymore. I love you James.

He let out a small chuckle and looked at her. She smiled and they spoke using only their eyes. He looked back at the paper and began to write too.

Luv ya 2 Freckles.

She scoffed slightly at the short message and wrote one word.

Lazy-ass

They both heard the door opening. Juliet came down the hall and looked at them. They moved slightly away from each other and looked at the blonde woman.

"It's ok," she said. "You can touch each other now."

"What is going on?" Kate asked. "Why did you take us?"

"I have something to tell you," Juliet continued. "We took you because we knew that Kate would never come on her own and we didn't want to kidnap her the way that Ethan did with Claire. All of that was a mistake. He was only supposed to give her the medication, not take her."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sawyer asked. "That doesn't explain why you took us."

"Kate," Juliet began. "How long ago has it been since you last mensturated?"

"What?" Kate asked.

"How long-" she began again.

"I heard you," Kate interrupted. "I just don't know what it means."

"Think back Kate. Count the days."

"I don't have to," she mumbled.

"So you do already know," Juliet said.

"Yeah," Kate nodded.

"What the hell is she talking about Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"Come on James," Juliet stated. "I know that you're a ninth grade drop out, but you know the consequences of your actions."

"Shut up lady," Sawyer snapped. "Kate tell me what's going on."

"I'm pregnant," she told him.

**A/N: OK...so I had to figure out a reason for the Others to take Kate and Sawyer, without Jack having to be there, so that's why I did this. Please R & R**


	14. Chapter 14

"You're pregnant?" he asked. "How?"

She looked at him very annoyed at this point, and then looked back at Juliet.

"I know how," he replied. "I just mean. What? Why didn't you tell me sooner? And when did you find out?"

"I figured it out about a week ago."

"A week!" he exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Sawyer," she sighed. "I-I'm sorry. I just-I didn't know what to do. I'm just so scared, and I was so scared, that you'd leave."

"Freckles," he scoffed. "We're on a deserted island...where am I going?"

She had tears already streaming down her cheeks and she took a deep breath. He folded his arms over his chest and stared at Kate. He was pissed that she didn't have the guts to tell him.

"I'm not even 100 sure Sawyer," she half sobbed.

"You should have told me Kate," he told her. She nodded and took another deep breath.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed.

"Ok, well that answers my question for Kate," Sawyer began. "Now it's your turn goldilocks."

"Juliet," she informed him sweetly. "You are here because we need to make sure that everything is going to be alright with your pregnancy."

"How come you didn't take Mr. and Mrs. Miyagi?"

"Are Sun and Jin Kwon pregnant too?" Juliet asked.

"Yes," Kate nodded. "But leave them alone. They never did anything wrong."

"Kate you need to know something," Juliet continued. "We're gonna do a blood test on you and see how far along you are. We need to know if you concieved on the island or off."

"I have a question," Kate started. "How would you guys even know that there's a possibility of me being pregnant?"

"Because we saw you in the jungle...well I didn't, but one of our people did."

Kate looked around the room nervously and obviously embarrassed. Sawyer saw the small tint of pink that was beginning to appear on Kate's cheeks.

"Have you had a period since you've been here on the island?" Juliet asked.

"Not that it's any of your business," Kate scoffed.

"Actually it is my business," Juliet answered. "I need to know."

"Why?" Kate asked. "What the hell is going on?"

"Women who concieve on the island. They only last till right before their third trimester, and then they die and so does the baby."

Kate took a deep breath. "I haven't had a peroid since I've been here," she whispered.

"That's a good sign," Juliet nodded. "You may have concieved off the island so...and that will be a good thing."

Niether Kate or Sawyer said anything. Kate looked over at Sawyer who was looking at Juliet like he was getting ready to pounce on her and strangle her to death. She looked back toward Juliet.

"Ok...so I'm gonna leave you alone for the rest of the night. In the morning, Kate you and I are going into the jungle to the medical hatch. Sawyer you're going to be doing some of the physical labor around our village," Juliet said as she stood up.

Juliet left and Kate looked at Sawyer, both apologetically, and frightened. He rolled his eyes slightly and stood up. He walked around the house with his hands clenched into fists and mumbling under his breath. Kate stood up to stop him. He picked up a small object that was sitting on the kitchen counter and threw it at the wall. Kate jumped at the sound and at Sawyer's anger. She walked out of the room and into the bedroom. She laid down on the bed and closed her eyes tightly. She wanted to block out everything that had happened. She wished she could go back to 8 days ago when she realized that she was pregnant.

_**FLASHBACK**_

Kate had woken up in her tent feeling extremely nauseous. Sawyer was snoring softly. She stood up and went into the jungle. When she was coming out of the jungle she spotted Sun. She was wiping her mouth. She gave Kate a soft smile and walked over to her.

"Morning sickness," Sun mumbled, referring to herself.

"No, I just-" Kate started.

"I meant me," Sun said.

"Oh...yeah," Kate nodded. "Are you doing ok other than that?"

"Yeah," Sun answered. "Jin has been really helpful. He loves me a lot."

"That's good."

"Have you and Sawyer talked about kids?" Sun asked.

"No," Kate chuckled. "I think if he knew I was pregnant-I mean-"

"Kate are you?" Sun interrupted, without really meaning to.

"Well I haven't had my period in over 57 days," she answered. "I think it's a pretty safe bet."

"Don't worry too much yet," Sun said soothingly. "Your body might just be messed up because of the stress of the crash."

They both knew that Sun was only saying this to make Kate feel better, but it helped anyway.

"Thanks Sun," Kate nodded and hugged Sun.

_**FLASHBACK OVER**_

Kate wanted more than anything for Sawyer to come into the bedroom and hold her. She didn't even want him to say he was sorry for how he reacted. All she wanted was for him to come in and lay down next to her.

Sawyer was pacing outside in the hall way. He wanted to comfort Kate and tell her that everything was ok. He was still pissed that she didn't trust him enough to tell him that she was pregnant. But his reaction had more to do with the fact that he was mad at being captured, and mad that Juliet told them pregnant women died. He took a deep breath. He looked over at the wall where he had thrown the opbject. There was a black mark where it had hit. He knew that it had scared Kate to see his temper. He walked over to the door and turned the knob. He half expected Kate to scream at him to leave her alone, but she lay there completely still. He walked over to the bed and laid down. She still didn't move. He put his arms around her and this time she did move. She rolled over toward him and buried her face into his chest.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"I'm sorry too," he grumbled. "Again. Been apologizing a lot lately. I just-I don't like-I've never wanted kids Kate. And a few months ago, while we were living off the island, you're right...I probably would have gone screaming in the other direction. But it's not a few months ago Kate. We're on this island together and I love you. It's gonna take some time to get used to, but I'm gonna try."

She sobbed even harder, and looked up at him. She kissed his lips and snuggled back against him. He sighed and held on to her.

"I was never mad at you Freckles," he whispered.

"Could have fooled me," she sighed.

"I was more mad at the fact that we've been captured. We're stuck in this house, which is bugged with cameras and micorphones. And I was mad that, that bitch scared you by telling you pregnant women die."

"I don't think she was lying," she said looking up at him again.

"Even still," he replied. "She should have made something up. Telling you that you're gonna die? All it did was scare you right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It scared, me, but I don't have to worry about that yet. I just want to get through tomorrow."

"You will," he whispered.

Kate fell asleep quickly. She was completely exhausted from the trip to Othersville, and her lack of sleep from the night before. Sawyer had his arm around her. When he could feel her steady breathing he carefully lifted his arm off of her and left the room. He closed the door behind him and began to walk around the living area again. He walked past the table 5 times before he kicked it over. When it crashed to the floor he knew that he had probably woken Kate. He bent over and picked up the table, and put it upright. He walked over to the fridge to look for something...anything to drink. He opened the cupboards above the sink and found a lone bottle of vodka. It had the dharma logo on it. He took it from the shelf and opened it quickly. He acted as if he would die if he didn't get the liquor in his system right then. He didn't even bother measuring it into a shot glass. He lifted the bottle to his lips and took a deep swig. He let out a harsh breath as the liquid burned his mouth and his throat. He walked back into the living area and sat down. He continued to drink and stare into space. He began to feel the affects of the alcohol and he liked it. He hadn't been drunk in over 2 months. He saw a magazine sitting on the table next to the couch. He picked it up and noticed that it was a parenting magazine. He threw it across the room and kicked the table for the second time. This time he kicked it hard enough and in just the right spot to make it fall and break. If Kate didn't wake up from the first time he knocked it over, he was positive she had woken up this time. Sure enough he heard the bedroom door creak open.

"James?" Kate asked, somewhat groggily.

"Hey Freckles," he sighed. "Sorry if I woke you.

"What are you doing?" she questioned, looking at the bottle and then up at him.

"Drinking," he said quietly. "Want some...oh yeah. I forgot. Prolly shouldn't drink with a bun in the oven. Although maybe if you drink enough it'll be like it never happened."

Kate took a deep breath. She knew that he was only saying this because he was drunk, and maybe even more scared than she was. Kate sat down on the couch next to him and took the bottle from him.

"You really are gonna drink?" he asked. "Sweet."

"No," she shook her head and put the bottle on the table next to the couch. She looked at him seriously and he put his head down.

"Sorry Freckles," he mumbled.

"Sawyer, you're allowed to be scared," she told him. "You are just as a part of this as I am. And if me and this baby die...it won't be hard for me at all. I won't be losing anything...I'll be dead. It won't matter to me. But you-you're gonna have to go through that pain of losing two people you love. And whether you know it or not or believe it or not...Sawyer you love this baby."

He didn't answer her. He just kept his head down. Kate swallowed the lump in her throat and took Sawyer's hand. She put his hand on her stomach, with her hand resting on top.

"I'm having a baby," she whispered. "There's a little baby growing inside of me. Do you know how awesome that is?"

He let out a small drunk chuckle and looked at her. Kate knew that Sawyer tended to get very emotional when he'd been drinking, and sure enough his eyes were wet with tiny tears.

"I mean it's scary and screwed up, but it's also amazing," she told him with a chuckle. "I'm going back to bed, you coming? Juliet said you were going to be doing some labor tomorrow...I'm sure that they won't care if you're hung over."

He took Kate by the hand and they both went back into the bedroom. When they laid down Sawyer put his arms around Kate's middle, and put both hands resting on her womb.

"I know that this question is pretty irrelevant now, and it's probably something that I should have asked you a while ago, but...do you have any other kids?" she asked.

"Not that I know of Freckles," he told her. "I never stayed with anyone long enough to find out."

"What's gonna happen James?" she asked.

"I dunno Frckles," he mumbled. "I guess you're gonna have a baby in 9 months. I ain't goin' anywhere."

"Thank you," she whispered.

**A/N: Sawyer is not done with being freaked out over it, and neither is Kate. I hope you enjoyed this chap. Lemme know. On a side note I just watched this new series on HBO called Tell Me You Love Me, and it was weird! It has the actress who plays Penny Widmore in it, and it's really weird b/c it's very sexually explicit and it's just weird to see her in that kind of role. Anyway...it's pretty good, but like I said, it's pretty sexual so it's probably not for everyone...but yeah. Please review my story!**


	15. Chapter 15

Kate woke up by someone tapping her on the shoulder. She opened her eyes and looked up at Juliet. She jerked away from her and scoffed.

"What are you doing in my bedroom?" Kate asked. She turned over and noticed that Sawyer was gone. "Where is he?"

"Don't worry," Juliet said. "Sawyer is fine. He went with a couple of our guys to do some of the hard labor. They could use another strong man."

"Fine," she mumbled. "Now where the hell are we going?"

"Told you yesterday," she answered. "We're going to the medical hatch. We took some of your blood yesterday to do the actual blood test, and today we're gonna do an ultrasound."

"Will you even be able to find a heart beat this soon?" Kate asked.

"I dunno," Juliet shook her head. "We're gonna be able to determine the day of conception...give or take a few days."

"Ok," Kate stood up and followed Juliet from the house.

They walked in nearly complete silence, except for the sound of their shoes crunching on the jungle floor. Kate listened to the jungle noises as they walked. When they came to the hatch Kate took a deep breath. She remembered the place well. She also rememebered that there was nothing in this hatch. She kept her mouth shut as Juliet led the way. When Juliet opened the door to the first room Kate saw the bed.

"What is this?" Kate asked.

"It's where we took the women to die," Juliet whispered. Kate gulped air and continued to follow Juliet. When they went into the room with the ultrasound equipment Kate breathed in deep again.

"Lay down please," Juliet said. Kate looked at the bed and laid down on it. Juliet got the rest of the equipment ready, while Kate looked around the room.

"Am I going to be able to see?" Kate whispered.

"You're still pretty early into the pregnancy so I'm not sure, and if you don't hear the heartbeat don't freak out...it's just early. Ready?"

Kate nodded and flinched slightly when the cold liquid hit her stomach. Kate gulped another large breath of air. She couldn't hear anything. Juliet wrinkled her nose and continued to move the ultrasound over her stomach. Suddenly she heard it. The heartbeat could be heard. Kate looked around the room and then toward Juliet. Juliet silently looked at the screen and then back at Kate.

"You're about 9 weeks along," Juliet told her. "You crashed here...lets see 70 days ago. You got pregnant on the island."

"Can you turn it off?" she asked quietly.

"Kate," Juliet began. "I'm going to take care of this. I promise. I'm not going to let you die."

"I just want to go back. I want to leave this place. I want go home."

"Kate, please believe me. I'm not going to let you die," Juliet repeated.

"Yeah," she whispered. "Ok."

Juliet and Kate walked back to Kate's new house. Juliet kept looking at Kate sympathetically. Kate didn't seem to notice it. She was walking slowly and staring into space. When they got back to the village Kate saw Sawyer heading back to the house too. He saw Kate and walked toward her. They both had their eyes on each other and continued to walk toward each other. Sawyer wrapped his arms arounnd Kate, and held her. She held him just as tightly. From Kate's reaction, and the look on Juliet's face Sawyer knew that Kate had concieved on the island.

"Kate," he whispered.

"I'm gonna die," she told him. "In a few months...I'm gonna die."

"No!" he said sternly. He took her face in his hands. "You ain't dying yet. I'm not letting you."

"Yes," she nodded. "I'm gonna die."

"Stop!" he screamed. "I'm not listening to this."

He walked away from her and up the stairs to their house. Kate looked at Juliet, who looked very sympathetic and sorry.

"I'll talk to him," Juliet started, she headed toward the steps. Kate grabbed her firmly by the wrist. She pulled Juliet hard to force her to face her.

"No," Kate replied. "You're gonna stay right here...or whatever, you can go back to your house or whatever. You're going to leave us the hell alone. I'm going to talk to him."

Kate pushed past Juliet and nearly shoved her down the stairs as she pushed past her. Kate walked into the house and found Sawyer with the bottle of vodka again. She let out a deep breath and walked over to him.

"Gimme that," she replied.

"No," he mumbled. Kate reached out and wrenched the bottle from his hand. She stomped over to the sink and threw the bottle into it. The glass shattered and the liquor went down the sink.

"Dammit Kate what'd you do that for?" he asked. She pushed against him and forced him over to the couch. She shoved him into a sitting position and sat next to him.

"Get it together," she said. "I know you're freaked out ok? But I can't do this without you."

"Why?" he asked. "You're just gonna give up and leave me alone."

She thought about this statement and realized he was right. She was giving up. What else was she supposed to do? Juliet said she was going to do everything she could to save her, but how was that going to help? Pregnant women died. She nodded slowly.

"You're right," she choked out. "But I'm scared right now. I don't want to die. I heard the baby's heartbeat today. I'm just like you Sawyer...I never wanted kids...I never thought I'd make a good mother. But now I want it...I want it Sawyer...more than anything."

"Me too," he told her. "I love you so much, and our baby."

She crinkled her nose and tears streamed down her cheeks. She took a breath and sniffled.

"I'm not going to let you die," he whispered.

"How?" she asked.

"We're gonna let Juliet do her job," he replied.

"But she wasn't able to save any of the other patients. What makes you think that she's gonna be able to save me?"

"Because, Freckles," he began. "You're a survivor. You're a fighter...and somethin' tells me that, that woman. Juliet...she's not gonna give up till she finds something to save you."

Kate leaned against Sawyer's shoulder, and he held her in his arms. He stroked her hair gently and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"How long?" he whispered.

"She said no one had lasted past their 3rd trimester," Kate whispered. "I'm 9 weeks along."

"I don't know how many more weeks that gives us," he mumbled.

"She said about 18-20," Kate choked.

"Ok," he nodded. "Then we're going to spend every day together and just love each other ok? What did Juliet say? How is she going to fix this?"

"I don't know," she answered. "But she said she was going to help me."

"Kate," he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"Please don't get mad," he continued.

"What?" she questioned with a small sigh.

"Are you gonna get mad?" he asked.

"Just tell me what you're thinking," she sighed. "Although I think I can already guess and the answer is no."

"How do you know what I'm gonna ask?" he inquired.

"I just do," she replied. "And I'm not having an abortion. No."

"Freckles," he gently pushed her up and turned her to face him. "I know that it's hard, but maybe you would have a chance to live. And when we get off this damn island we can try again."

"No!" she yelled. "I'm not doing that. There's no way!"

"I know," he nodded. "I'm just-I'm trying to figure out a way for you to live. I don't want you to die Kate, and if it was between you and the baby-"

"I'm chosing the baby," she interrupted.

"No you're not," he responded. "I'm chosing you. The baby isn't even here yet. I'm not going to let you kill yourself for a baby that's not even alive."

"This baby is alive Sawyer," she told him. "I heard the heart beat today. This baby is alive."

"I know," he whispered.

"I have about 18 weeks left Sawyer," she said. "What should we do first?"

He took her by the hands and forced her to stand. Then they walked hand in hand out of the house. Sawyer was practically dragging her. Juliet was sitting on the steps of their house. She turned around when she heard the door open.

"Fix her," he said.

"What?" Juliet asked slightly confused as she stood up.

"I want you to do whatever you can, but fix her," Sawyer stated. "Please."

"James," she began.

"It's Sawyer," he told her.

"Sawyer then," she corrected herself. "It's going to be ok. I promise that I'm going to do everything that I can."

"Promise me that she won't die," he said.

"I can't," she murmured. "I can't promise you that she won't die because I don't make promises that I can't keep."

"So she will die?" Sawyer asked. "No matter what you do."

"I didn't say that," she answered. "I'm going to do everything that I can ok?"

"Get us off the island," he stated. "That would definitely help. Get her off the island before she dies."

"Sawyer," Kate started. "It's ok."

"No it's not," he gently pushed Kate to the side and stepped threateningly toward Juliet. "You have to save her."

"I know," Juliet nodded. "And I can promise you that I'm going to do everything that I can. Just please...calm down. I'm going to do some research and I'm going to figure something out."

Kate and Sawyer headed back to their house. They sat down on the couch and Kate took in a breath of air.

"Ok," she started. "You're right. We're going to live every day like it's my last. I know we have 18 weeks, which sounds like alot, but it's not. I want you to make love to me."

"What?" he asked. Kate stood up and walked over to the first camera she could see. She took off the sweatshirt she was wearing and placed it over the camera. Then she headed into the bedroom and looked around. She saw two cameras and covered them as well. Sawyer didn't move from his spot on the couch, and just watched Kate covering the cameras. She walked back into the living area and put one leg on either side of Sawyer. She kissed his mouth and started to push his shirt off his shoulder.

"Kate," he whispered.

"Please," she began. "I need this more than anything. Please make love to me."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly and brushed his lips against hers. She rearranged herself on top of him and continued to kiss him. He stood up taking Kate with him. She still had her legs wrapped around him and he carried her into the bedroom. His movements were gentle and slow. She didn't even know that he could be so tender with her.

They lay there in bed together and Kate sighed in contentment. Sawyer continued to kiss Kate on her cheeks and lips. They had been alone for a little over two hours, when they could both hear movement in the house. Both of them were naked, and neither one of them wanted to get out of bed. Kate let out a chuckle and continued to kiss Sawyer through her smiles.

"What's so funny Freckles?" he asked, himself smiling too.

"Nothing," she smiled. "I love you James."

"Love you too," he replied. There was a knock on the door before it opened. Sawyer pulled the blanket up over Kate to cover her exposed skin.

"I'm just taking the cameras down," Juliet told them.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"I told them that you deserved to be alone, without us looking at you. So I'm taking the cameras out of your house," she replied.

"Thanks," Kate stated rolling over to face her.

"I'm gonna come back tomorrow to do some tests," Juliet told her. "Nothing too invasive, but I just want to check on one more thing."

Kate nodded and watched as Juliet left. Sawyer looked down at Kate seductively and they both let out chuckles. He rolled on top of her and kissed her down her body till he came to her stomach. He kissed her stomach gently and then moved back up to her mouth.

"I want it to be like this forever James," she whispered.

"It will be," he nodded. "Every day is going to be perfect for you from now on."

**A/N: Please review my chapter!**


	16. Chapter 16

Over the next couple months Sawyer and Kate got into a routine. Kate would go get tests done with Juliet, and most of the time Kate would bring Sawyer with her. Sawyer was the other person in the room who had no clue what Juliet was talking about. He would hold her hand and make jokes to make her smile and laugh. They would both look at Juliet like she was speaking a foreign language and then she'd explain what she was saying. During the days Sawyer would read to Kate, and cook for her. He'd give her foot rubs and hold her in his arms. Neither of them talked about Kate being pregnant, or about her dying, but they both knew that they were thinking about it constantly.

It was the morning. Kate woke up and went quickly and quietly into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and got back in bed without waking up Sawyer. When he did wake up he turned toward her and kissed her on the lips.

"You cheated," he whispered. "You're not supposed to brush your teeth before I do."

"Well yesterday morning you complained about my morning breath, so this morning I fixed it."

He smiled at her and kissed her again. Kate was almost five months pregnant. Both Sawyer and Kate knew that any day now she could die. They still didn't talk about it. They both pretended that it didn't exsist. They acted as though she was going through a normal pregnancy. They both pretended that everything was fine. Sawyer put his hand on Kate's belly and felt the baby move.

"What was that?" he asked.

"It's just the baby moving," she chuckled. "It's been moving a lot lately."

The truth was that all morning she had been experiencing sharp pains, but she didn't want to think about it. If this was going to be her last day she wanted to spend it happy with Sawyer, not scared and alone with Juliet. They both heard the house door open and knew it was most likely Juliet. She came into the bedroom and saw Kate and Sawyer touching her stomach and feeling the baby kick.

"Baby moving a lot this morning?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded and smiled.

"Kate can I talk to you alone?" Juliet questioned. Sawyer looked at Kate for confirmation. Kate nodded and Sawyer left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

"Are you feeling ok?" Juliet asked.

"'Course," Kate smiled again, and felt another sharp pain, that she couldn't hide from Juliet.

"Are you in any pain?" she inquired.

"I'm fine," Kate answered. "I want to spend the day with Sawyer. We're in the middle of a book, and he was going to read to me today."

Juliet lifted the comforter off of Kate's legs. She was bleeding.

"Kate," Juliet gasped. "We have to get you down to the medical hatch now."

"What's the point?" Kate half sobbed. "I'm gonna die anyway. I don't want to die down there Juliet."

"Kate, you're not going to die!" Juliet practically yelled. "Sawyer come in here."

"No," Kate sobbed. "Please, I don't want him to see me like this."

"Sawyer!" Juliet exclaimed. Sawyer came running into the room and looked down at Kate.

"Freckles," he breathed. "Oh Jesus. Kate."

He bent down and picked her up in his arms. He held her and she held him back.

"I'm ok," she whispered and sobbed. "We knew this day was coming."

"Not today," he said firmly. He picked Kate up and walked with Juliet ahead of him toward the medical hatch. When they got there Sawyer set Kate down on the table and looked at her with tears in his eyes. He brushed the hair out of her face.

"I didn't think it would be this quick," she half sobbed. "I wanted to be able to kiss you goodbye."

"Well I ain't gonna kiss you goodbye Kate, but I'll kiss you," he told her. He bent down and kissed her lips softly.

"Sawyer, you're going to have to leave," Juliet stated.

"No," he shook his head. "I ain't leaving. I'm sitting right here next to her and I'm holding her hand, and if you want me to leave, then you're going to have to make me."

"Ok," she nodded. "But Sawyer you have to do exactly what I say, and when I tell you that you need to leave, then you need to leave ok?"

Sawyer nodded and took Kate by the hand. He continued to squeeze her hand and kiss it, and brush her hair out of her face. He talked to Kate like it was just any other examination from the many they had already gone to. Kate concentrated on Sawyer's voice and on him holding her hand and touching her forehead.

There were a few other people that had made their way down to the hatch. The man who had taken Sawyer in the jungle and had shot him on the raft was standing in the room. Sawyer continued to give the man dirty looks, but didn't say anything.

"Squeeze my hand harder," Kate whispered. He did as he was told. He felt like he was going to break her hand, but she kept insisting that she wanted him to squeeze it harder. After Juliet had been working for a few minutes she told Sawyer to concentrate on looking at Kate's face and not below that.

"Why?" Sawyer asked.

"Because Sawyer, I'm going to cut into her stomach and uterus and I don't need you to pass out. Cuz then where would we be?"

He nodded and refused to let himself look at anything other than Kate's face. She was smiling up at him trying to be really brave.

"Kiss me," she whispered. "Just kiss me again."

He didn't hesitate before he bent down and kissed her. She kissed him back and held on to the back of his neck.

"You in pain?" he asked.

"I can't feel anything," she whispered.

"Good," he said.

"Sawyer, I'm going to have to put her to sleep in a couple minutes," Juliet stated.

"Why?" he asked. "I thought you did that numbing thing. Why are you taking her away?"

"Sawyer, because we need her to be completely still, and I can't do this with her awake. It's going to be surgery so I'm going to have to put her to sleep. Now shut up and let me continue to do my job."

Sawyer didn't say anything else, but continued to watch Kate, and hold her hand. Moments later Juliet moved toward Kate's head and put the gas mask on her face. Juliet kept working without saying anything. Sawyer didn't dare ask her any questions.

"Ok, the baby is ok," Juliet finally said. He watched her take the baby out of Kate's stomach and put the baby on a bed that was already waiting and warming.

"W-what is it?" Sawyer asked.

"It's a girl," Juliet stated sweetly and then went back to working on Kate. Juliet told a couple of the people including Tom what to do with the baby while she was still working on Kate. Suddenly and unexpectedly Kate's heart rate went way up. Sawyer could hear the machines beeping. He didn't know what any of the beeps meant, but it was much more rapid than before and he knew that it couldn't be good.

"Sawyer remember when I told you that when I tell you to leave, you need to leave?" she asked. Without waiting for him to answer Juliet continued. "Now's the time. You need to leave."

"No," he shook his head. "I'm not leaving Kate or my daughter."

"Get him outta here Tom," Juliet said to Tom.

"Don't touch me Tom," Sawyer scoffed. He let go of Kate's hand and reluctantly left the room. Sawyer stepped outside of the room and sat down on the ground outside of the door. He waited for what seemed like a really long time. He didn't know how long it had been.

"Sawyer would you like to see your daughter?" Juliet asked quietly. Sawyer looked up at her and nodded slowly.

"Is Kate ok?" he asked.

"You're daughter is beautiful," Juliet replied. "She's very tiny and we're going to have to keep a close eye on her for the next few weeks."

"Yeah whatever, what about Kate?" he repeated.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I did everything I could. Her heart stopped beating."

"No," he shook his head. "Keep working on her! You can't let her die!"

"I didn't let her die," Juliet said. "She just-"

"No," Sawyer interrupted and walked over to where they were placing a sheet over Kate. He began to do CPR on Kate. Even though he didn't know what he was doing, he continued to work on her and began to hit her chest with his fist. At one point he heard a crack and he knew that he had broken a rib, but he didn't care. Kate wasn't going to leave him alone. Not now. He climbed onto the bed with her and craddled her head on his arms. He controlled himself enough to not sob. He didn't want these people seeing him emotional, but he couldn't stop a few tears from coming into his eyes. Kate took a deep, pained breath.

"Kate?" he jerked his head to face her and looked at her in shock. "Freckles?"

"Yeah," she breathed hard.

Juliet gasped and pushed Sawyer out of the way for her to continue to work on Kate. One of the women who had been in the room looked at Sawyer sympathetically.

"Do you want to see your daughter?" she asked quietly. "She's really tiny, and definitely not out of danger, but she's alive."

Sawyer nodded and followed the woman to the other side of the room, where there was a couple more people looking at the baby.

"Can I touch her?" Sawyer asked. The few people who had gathered in front of the baby moved aside to make way for Sawyer. Sawyer looked down at the tiny baby. Right now she didn't look like either Sawyer or Kate, but she was still beautiful and he knew that this was his baby. He touched the baby gently on the hand and then touched her cheek.

"Sawyer!" Kate called his name. He walked quickly back to where Kate was.

"I'm here," he whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Is she ok?" Kate half sobbed. "Is the baby ok?"

"She's great," he knew that he was half lying, but he was going to make her believe that the baby was fine.

"She's so tiny," she said. "I can see her from here, and she's so tiny. All those tubes."

"It's gonna be ok," Sawyer stated. "She's got Ford and Austen blood in her...she's gonna fight this Kate."

Kate sobbed and clutched her chest where Sawyer knew the broken rib was.

"You saved me," she whispered, chuckled, and sobbed all at the same time.

"No," he shook his head. "I just didn't give up. And you know what else? You saved me so what goes around comes around."

Kate looked at Sawyer and sat up as much as she could to kiss him.

"I want to go back," she whispered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Me too. Juliet can we go please?"

"Not yet," Juliet replied. "I know that you want to go home, and you want to be back in your own tent. Or even back to our camp...but you guys are going to have to stay here for a little while so that Kate and the baby can recover. You'll have your own room though. With a bed and everything else. It'll be cozy."

Sure enough Kate and Sawyer were taken into a bedroom which looked very homey. Sawyer helped Kate over to the bed and laid down next to her.

"I want the baby," she whispered.

"Kate," Sawyer began. "You've just had surgery, plus I broke your damn rib trying to get you to come back to me. Just go to sleep. You can see the baby tomorrow...I promise."

Kate nodded slowly and closed her eyes. She opened her eyes again and smiled at Sawyer.

"I'm a mommy," she whispered. He smiled back at her and nodded.

"Yeah," he answered. "You are. What should we name her?"

"Well I've kind of been thinking about that. I've always liked the name Julie, and since Juliet saved both of us..."

"Settles it. Julie," he half interrupted.

**A/N: I hope that you enjoyed this, and that it was realistic enough. Please R & R.  
**


	17. Chapter 17

Sawyer woke up and rolled over toward Kate's sleeping body. He put his arm around her and closed his eyes again. She groaned softly and turned toward him.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," he smiled at her and opened his eyes again. She began to get out of bed with difficulty. Sawyer took her by the wrist before she could get any further.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To see the baby," Kate answered.

"No," he shook his head. "I'll bring her over here."

Sawyer stood up and wheeled the baby over to the edge of the bed. Kate reached in and touched the baby. She sniffled and looked at Sawyer.

"What's going to happen Sawyer?" she asked quietly.

"I dunno," he replied. "She's going to keep getting bigger and better I guess."

"No," Kate shook her head. "She should still be in me. She should be inside growing and not out here. She's too tiny."

"Kate, I know this is scary," he started. "I'm scared too...but Juliet promised that she would do everything she could to help her."

Kate laid down against Sawyer. She was sobbing softly. He continued to hold her and look at the baby. He brushed her hair from Kate face and reached over to the box of tissues that was sitting on the end table by the bed. He handed her the tissue and she chuckled softly as she wiped her eyes and nose. Kate fell asleep laying on Sawyer's chest. She had been sleeping for about 20 minutes when Juliet walked in the room. Sawyer could tell she was about to speak.

"Shh," he held his finger up to his lips. "She's sleeping."

Juiet looked at the baby and began to examine her. Sawyer kept his mouth shut as Juliet continued to do her job. There was a couple of tiny machine's attached to the baby, and an alarm started going off. Kate woke up very confused, and acted as if she didn't know where she was.

"What's happening?" Sawyer asked looking over at Juliet. Juliet didn't answer but continued to move the tubes, and work on the baby.

"I have to take her into the operating room where there's more light and better machines."

"No!" Kate exclaimed. She started to move toward the baby's bed and Juliet. Sawyer caught her before she could get out of the bed.

"Kate, let her do her job," he whispered. "She'll take care of Julie. I promise."

"No!" she screamed again. "We can't lose our daughter. No. James."

He held on to her and nodded at Juliet as she wheeled the baby out of the room. Kate continued to fight Sawyer and try to leave the room.

"Freckles," he whispered. "It's going to be ok. Just calm down. Close your eyes and dream about when we can leave here with our daughter. Because I ain't goin' no where without bringing the baby back with us."

"What if we don't?" she asked. "What if Juliet can't save our baby? She's so tiny Sawyer. Sometimes premature babies don't survive even in the best circumstances, and we're stuck on this island without the best equipment ever."

"I know," he nodded. "But it's like I said before...this baby is a fighter. She's not going to die."

"Yes she is," she sobbed. "Juliet is going to come through that door any minute and tell us that the baby died."

"Why do you think that?" he asked taking her face in his hands.

"I just know," she shook her head away from his hands and began to get out of the bed again.

"Kate," he grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her gently to lay back down. "You're going to hurt yourself. Just stay here. It's going to be ok I promise."

"Stop!" she yelled. "Stop promising me anything. You can't promise me that."

"Yeah," he whispered. "You're right. I can't promise you that everything is going to be good again. I can't promise you that...but I can promise you that I'm going to be right here the entire time. And I'm not going to let you hurt yourself."

She continued trying to fight him, but her exhaustion mixed with her injury and Sawyer's strenth didn't do anything. He held her tightly in his arms and she sobbed against his shoulder.

"It's ok," Sawyer whispered. "Cry as much and hard as you can Freckles."

He wasn't sure if Kate had actually heard him, but she did start crying harder. Then she stopped and Sawyer realized that she had fallen asleep. He sat with her for a while, waiting for Juliet to come back. When she did come into the room Sawyer gently took his arms from around Kate and laid her sleeping head on top of the pillow. He walked toward Juliet and silently escorted her out of the room.

"Tell me," he demanded looking at Juliet.

"She's ok," Juliet said. "We're going to have to keep a really close eye on her. She's not going to be able to leave the new room we put her in. We have people watching her to make sure nothing happens."

"What's going to happen?" Sawyer asked.

"We don't know," she shook her head and looked almost hopeless. "The next few days are going to be really critical. The only thing we can do is wait."

Juliet put a hand on Sawyer's shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"You ok?" she asked.

"What do you think?" he glared at her.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Dumb question. I'm gonna go back and sit with your daughter. It'll be ok James."

"Sawyer," he mumbled as Juliet walked away.

He turned toward the wall and put his head against it. He balled his hand into a fist and started punching the wall as hard as he could. He felt the blood trickling down his hand but he kept punching at the wall. He felt someone grabbing him by the arm.

"Get off of me!" he yelled and turned quickly toward the person who grabbed his arm. It was Tom. The same man who shot, and kidnapped him.

"What the hell are you doing Ford?" Tom asked.

"I was gonna ask you the same damn thing Zeke," Sawyer responded.

"I'm stopping you from mangling you hand," Tom answered. "Now, please let go of my arm."

Sawyer did as he was told. He stared at Tom and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry I shot you," Tom told him. "I didn't mean to."

"Nice try," Sawyer scoffed. "I don't trust you and you better stay the hell away from me, Kate, and especially our baby."

Sawyer went back into the bedroom. He headed toward the bathroom to clean his hand off.

"Sawyer?" Kate whispered.

"Yeah," he turned toward her and held his bloody hand behind his back.

"Where's Julie?" she asked sitting up.

"Juliet came and took her remember?" Sawyer asked.

"And she's not back yet?" Kate questioned. "Something's really wrong."

"No," he said. "She's ok. Juliet just came and talked to me. She's going to keep a close eye on the baby."

"Sawyer," Kate sniffed. She looked at him with that heartbreaking look that Sawyer couldn't stand to see her looking so sad. He continued to hide his hand from Kate, but walked over to her and sat on the bed next to her. She put her arms around him and grabbed his hands in hers. He grimaced when she took the injured one a little too roughly. She could feel that his hand was sticky and wet. She brought her hands in front of her and saw the blood on them.

"James," she whispered. "What-what happened?"

"Got into a fight," he mumbled, and showed her his hand.

"With who?" she asked.

"A cement wall," he answered quietly.

"What happened?" she questioned with tears re-forming in her eyes.

"Well I turned toward the wall and punched it a couple times," he replied.

"No," she shook her head. "That isn't what I meant, and you know it. What happened with the baby? That's why you punched the wall isn't it?"

"The baby is ok," he told her quietly.

"Stop lying to me," she sobbed. "You know something, and you're trying to protect me, but it's not going to work, just tell me what happened."

"Nothing," he responded.

"Dammit Sawyer, talk to me," she said.

"I really don't know anything," he stated. "Juliet worked on her and she said that the baby was ok, but they have to keep her where she is to keep an eye on her. They have to make sure that nothing happens."

"What's going to happen?" she asked. "Why would they-"

"Freckles," he started. "That's all I know. I promise. Juliet and all those people...they're going to take care of the baby. And they'll tell us if anything changes."

"I wanna see her," Kate said. "I want to see her and spend time with her."

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. "Wait here."

Sawyer spotted a wheelchair in the corner of the room and walked toward it. He wheeled it over to Kate and helped her stand.

"I can walk," she told him.

"Really?" he asked. "Kate, I think it's adorable that you're trying to be all strong and not in pain, but do I really have to remind you that you had surgery yesterday and then a broken rib?"

"No," she shook her head. "I definitely can hardly breathe so I know that I have a broken rib...thanks by the way."

"You were greatful yesterday," he scoffed.

"I know, but yesterday I was high on pain meds and I had just given birth...today I can feel it."

"I'm sorry," he told her. "But I wasn't gonna let you die."

"Where were you when Charlie needed that ambition?" she asked somewhat sadly.

**_FLASHBACK-7 months ago._**

Claire and Charlie had been taken. Since Locke was in the jungle working on the hatch, and no one else seemed too worried about them Kate decided to take matters into her own hands. She went into the jungle with Sawyer and they searched for the two people.

After they had been walking for about 30 minutes Kate saw Charlie hanging from the tree. She let out a small yelp and Sawyer helped her take Charlie down from the tree. Neither of them were certified in CPR, but Kate thought she could get the general gist of it. She did CPR for a minute, and nothing happened. She was crying hard, too hard to keep giving Charlie breaths. Sawyer looked at her sympathetically and took her into his arms.

"It's ok," he said quietly. "He's gone."

"He didn't-he was just trying to protect her," Kate sniffled.

"I know," Sawyer nodded. "He was a good guy. He didn't deserve to die Kate, but he's gone."

Kate sniffled again and Sawyer helped her stand. That night when they returned with Charlie they buried him. They decided that they would wait to do the memorial for when Claire returned.

Claire did return, and she didn't remember anything. She did however read her journal and find out that there was a very sweet guy named Charlie who treated her well.

"Kate?" Claire asked, in a voice that wasn't sure if she had the right name.

"Yeah," Kate nodded.

"Where's, um Charlie?" she asked.

"Do you remember?" Kate questioned quickly and excitedly.

"No," she shook her head. "But I've written a lot about him, so I just wondered."

"Claire," Kate began. "I'm so sorry. Charlie...he-he died."

"Oh," Claire whispered.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "He was a really good guy. We were waiting for you to come back to say anything or have a memorial...We thought you'd want to be there. You were always the one who thought we should say something about the people who have died."

"Other people have died?" Claire asked.

"Well, the first day we were here...we looked through some of the luggage...y'know..people who didn't survive the crash...and then when Joanna drowned. Boone drowned trying to save her."

"Wow," Claire whispered. "Does this island have it in for us?"

Kate let out a small chuckle and nodded. "Well yeah I guess."

**_FLASHBACK OVER_**

"Ready to go see the baby?" Sawyer asked. Kate nodded and sat down in the wheelchair. Sawyer wheeled her down the hall and into the room where he thought the baby was. However when they went into the room the baby wasn't there.

"Where is she?" Kate asked, panicking slightly.

"I dunno," he breathed. "I'm gonna find her though. It's ok."

Sawyer looked around the room and started wheeling Kate through the rest of the hatch. They could both hear laughter and voices. Sawyer started walking quickly toward the voices that he was hearing. He went through the doors where the voices were getting louder.

"What's going on?" Sawyer asked. "Where is the baby?"

"She's right here," Juliet said quietly. She moved over in her seat so that both Sawyer and Kate saw the baby laying in the incubater.

"Is she ok?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," Juliet nodded.

"No," Kate stated. "Don't sugar coat this. Tell us. What is going on? Please just tell us if she's going to die."

"To be completely honest Kate we don't know. I know that's not the answer you wanted, but we really just have to wait," Juliet told her.

"When can I hold her?" Kate asked.

"Oh," Juliet shook her head. "Not for a while. It'll probably be at least a month, probably more. She's still very delicate. You can definitely reach in and touch her, but you're not going to be able to hold her yet."

"Ok," Kate whispered. She reached in to touch the baby and started crying almost immediately. Sawyer walked up behind her and put both hands on either of her shoulders. The baby moved slightly when Kate brushed her hand over her hand. Kate jumped and took her hand out of the incubater immediately.

"She moved," Kate whispered. "She moved."

Juliet walked over to the bed and looked in at the baby. She looked sympathetically at Kate and sighed deeply.

"I know that you thought she moved Kate," Juliet began.

"No," Kate interrupted. "She moved."

"Kate," Juliet whispered. "She didn't move because of you. She-"

"Why don't you want her to get better?" She half sobbed.

"I do," Juliet told her. "I do want the baby to be better, and be in your arms and be able to go back to your camp with you guys, but I don't want you to give yourself false hope."

"Do you mind shutting up?" Sawyer asked. He knelt in front of Kate and took her hand away from inside of the incubater. He held both of her hands in his own hands. "She's gonna get through this Kate."

"Don't," Kate shook her head and took her hands back. "Stop. I'm going to have to face this Sawyer, and so will you."

"I'm not giving up hope Freckles, and I don't think you should either. Juliet is stupid for making you believe there's no hope."

"No," she answered. "She's just realistic."

"Kate," Juliet started. "I never said there was no hope. There is always always hope. I don't know what else to tell you, but Kate, don't give up hope. Julie could come out of this alive and well and stronger than ever."

Kate looked back at Sawyer. He leaned up and kissed her lips softly. She turned away and shook her head.

"Don't," she whispered. Sawyer nodded and stood back up. He looked down at the baby and sighed.

"I can't stand to see her like that," he said.

"Me neither," Kate stated. "But I can't leave her. Juliet I'm staying here tonight."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Juliet told her. "You need to rest. In fact you should probably get back in bed."

"No," Kate replied. "You can't make me leave."

"No. That's true, I can't make you leave," Juliet said. "But you need to get your rest. You just had-"

"Major surgery I know," Kate sighed. "I don't care. I don't want to leave my baby alone."

"She's not alone Kate," Juliet stated.

"I don't care," Kate responded. "I'm staying here to look after my daughter. This is my daughter. She needs me."

"I know this is hard Kate, but-"

"No!" Kate mustered up all the energy she could and screamed at Juliet.

"Shh," Sawyer stepped toward her and wrapped his arms around her before she could begin to protest. "Kate calm down. You're going to hurt yourself, and you're screaming in front of the baby."

"I don't care," she sobbed. "I need to stay here. I need to be with my baby in case something happens."

"I agree," Sawyer nodded. "Juliet, we're staying here tonight. So just shut up and get some of your buddies to pull a bed in here because we're not leaving. If Julie has to stay in here then we're staying too."

"I guess we can take her back into your bedroom, but we're going to have to come with you. We're going to take shifts looking after her ok?" Juliet asked. "I can see you're not going to back down so of course, we won't keep you from your baby."

That night Sawyer agreed that Kate would need some kind of sedative. He let Juliet give her a shot. It pissed Kate off, but not for long because it made her fall asleep pretty quickly. Sawyer wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but he was worried that she wouldn't sleep or stay still for the rest of the night. At around 2:00 in the morning, he was really glad that he let Juliet give Kate the sedative because the monitors started beeping. Kate slept straight through it. Sawyer didn't, and it was really scary. He watched as Juliet and a couple of the other "Others" were trying to help the baby. After the monitors went back to a normal rhythm Juliet told Sawyer there was nothing to worry about. He didn't believe it for a minute, but he hadn't slept since the night before and he was too exhausted to argue with her. He fell asleep with his arms around Kate.

**A/N: OK, so kind of a long chapter yeah? Well with the Flashback thing I just was thinking about if Jack really hadn't been there Boone would have died trying to save Joanna and Charlie would have died when Ethan took him. I hope the Flashback wasn't confusing. I also hope that ya'll enjoyed the chapter. Please please Review!**


	18. Chapter 18

Over the next few weeks Sawyer and Kate continued to worry about the baby. Juliet did everything she knew how to in order to keep the baby alive. She was beginning to get bigger and better. She was still too tiny to be able to go home. Kate was much more relaxed when it came to the baby. She was still worried that something might happen, but she was also used to the feeling. She still gasped or jumped every time one of the monitors made a different sound, but she always let Juliet do her job without freaking out.

Kate was sitting in the rocking chair next to the baby's bed. Sawyer came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. He walked over to where Kate was sitting.

"You doing ok?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I just want to hold my baby."

"I know," he said. "Maybe you can. We should ask Juliet when she comes in today."

Kate smiled and nodded. She stood up and wrapped her arms around Sawyer. He kissed her neck and cheek. The door opened and they both looked toward it. Juliet came in the room and was slightly embarrassed at interrupting the moment.

"Can she hold the baby?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes," Juliet nodded. "She can hold her for a few minutes."

"I'm gonna get changed," Sawyer mumbled and left the room. Kate sat back down in the rocking chair and looked up at Juliet.

"She still needs the tubes to breathe," Juliet told her. "I'm just going to lift her out of the bed and put her into your arms ok?"

Kate nodded and watched as Juliet lifted the baby from the bed. She handed the baby to Kate carefully and Kate looked down at the baby.

"She's so tiny," Kate whispered.

"She's gotten much bigger," Juliet assured her.

"I know," Kate nodded. "I just thought. I thought that I would be holding a much bigger baby."

Sawyer made his way back into the bedroom and knelt next to Kate's chair. He looked down at the baby and then at Kate.

"She's a lot bigger," he whispered. Kate let out a chuckle and looked at Juliet who was smiling down at them.

"That's what Juliet said," she told him. "I just want her to be healthy."

"She still has a while of recovery," Juliet began. "But she's already doing much better. She has more color in her cheeks, and she is much bigger than she was a month ago."

"How much longer are we going to have to wait?" Kate asked.

"I dunno Kate," Juliet stated. "She's still very sick. We're going to have to keep her here until she can breathe on her own, and until she's completely out of danger."

Kate held the baby for a few more minutes, and then Juliet suggested putting her back in the incubater. During the day Juliet stayed in the room as usual. Every night Sawyer and Kate would have an hour alone, and then someone would come in to spend the night looking after the baby. Sawyer and Kate were having their hour of alone time. They were laying in their bed and Kate began to squeal in delight.

"What?" Sawyer chuckled, rolling toward her.

"I got to hold my baby today," she smiled widely.

"I'm glad that you're happy about that," he replied.

"I am," she nodded. "I'm so sick of crying and being sad about our baby. It's time to just be glad. I'm happy for every day I get with her."

"I have an idea," he started. "Let's play 'I never'."

"That stupid drinking game that we played when we were boar hunting?" she asked.

"Yeah," he responded.

"I don't think we have any liquor in here," she answered.

"Ok, well then we'll just play it without the alcohol," he said.

"Ok," she smirked. "I never-"

"Me first," he interrupted. "I've never been pregnant."

"Cheater," she chuckled. "Alright...I've never gotten someone pregnant."

"I've never given birth," he said quickly.

"Same thing as never being pregnant," she scoffed. "Fine...I've never...been in love."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," he whispered. He kissed her gently and she nodded.

"Ok, what about you?" she asked.

"Well, you know that I've been in love," he told her. "But how about this. I've never been in love more than once."

"I've never been a daddy," she said quietly.

"I've never been a mommy," he answered. "And you're never gonna win this game."

She rolled over on top of him and kissed him deeply. He kissed her back, but then pushed her gently upward.

"Kate-" he started.

"Shut up," she chuckled. "Shh. Just don't talk."

"We only have a little bit left till Juliet comes back," he whispered.

"Well then we better hurry or she's gonna get quite a show," she said quietly, lowering herself back down towards his mouth. He smiled up at her and started to lift her shirt up. She pushed it back down.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"Leave my shirt," she whispered.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because," she said. She rolled off of him, but took him with her and he was now hovering over her. He began to lift her shirt up again.

"Don't," she protested again. They continued to kiss. Kate helped Sawyer take his own shirt off, but still didn't allow him to take her shirt off. He took Kate's jeans off and kissed her stomach. She pushed him away, scoffed and got out of the bed.

"What is wrong Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"I don't want you touching my stomach or looking at it."

He sighed and began to understand. He took her by the hands and pulled her back toward the bed. She was now kneeling on top of the bed and he was staring up at her.

"Is it because of this?" he asked. He lifted the shirt up about half way and exposed the scar from where Juliet cut into Kate's stomach. Kate pushed the shirt back down and her cheeks turned pink.

"I want to be beautiful, and that scar is so ugly."

"Kate," Sawyer began. "You are beautiful. Every inch, and every scar is beautiful."

"I love you," she smiled. "But we're not having sex tonight."

"Why not?" he asked. "You were more anxious than me a couple minutes ago."

"I know," she sighed. "I'm just sore. I don't think it's a good idea."

"Ok," he nodded. "But can we kiss?"

"You're pathetic," she chuckled. She leaned toward him and kissed him. They kissed each other, and neither of them noticed Juliet coming into the room. Juliet cleared her throat loudly and they both looked up, and smiled in embarrassment.

"Hi," Kate said.

"Hey," Juliet said. "Sorry."

"It's ok," Kate replied. She sat up and stared at Juliet. Juliet walked over to where the baby was and started to check her vitals.

"Is the baby ok?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," Juliet answered. "She's good."

* * *

It had been another month and a half. The baby was doing much better and she was even breathing on her own. Juliet told Kate and Sawyer that they would be able to go back to their own camp soon. Juliet had stopped spending the night in their bedroom.

Kate was in the shower. Sawyer was sitting in the rocking chair holding the baby. He was rocking gently. The baby was starting to look like Kate. She had dark brown hair that was starting to grow. Her eyes were blue. She hadn't smiled yet, but even without smiling both Kate and Sawyer knew she was going to have dimples. There was a knock on the door that made Sawyer jump, and made the baby wake up. She started crying softly, but when Sawyer went back to the gentle rocking motion she fell back to sleep quickly.

"Come in," Sawyer said quietly.

"Hey," Juliet stated. "She's doing much better."

"I can see," he nodded and smiled softly. "She's lookin' more like Kate every day."

"You guys can go home tomorrow," she told him.

"Really?" Sawyer asked, still skeptical. "Is it safe to go through the jungle with her?"

"We can go home?" Kate squealed, running into the room. "Hear that Julie. We're going home."

Kate carefully took the baby from Sawyer and held her to her chest.

"Kate," Sawyer began. "I wanna talk more about this. I still think it's too soon. What if something happens?"

"Like what?" she asked continuing to look at the baby. "What could happen?"

"How about the smoke monster?" he asked. "What if we have to start running? That wouldn't be good for Julie would it?"

"No," she shook her head. "But I just want to take her home. I want her to meet everyone else."

"Well me too," he said. "She and Aaron will probably be really good friends eventually, but I don't want to go too soon."

"I wanna go home," Kate pouted.

"Ok," Sawyer smiled. "We'll go home tomorrow...if that's what you want, we'll go home."

* * *

As they walked through the jungle Sawyer had a firm but gentle hold on Julie. Kate was walking slightly ahead of Sawyer watching for any debris that may be in the path. As they stepped onto the beach Claire was the first to notice them. Aaron was almost a year and he was standing in the water with Jin and Hurley holding on to his hands.

"Kate and Sawyer!" Claire exclaimed. "Look!"

Everyone came running up to them. None of them knew that there was even a possibility of Kate being pregnant besides Sun. Where was Sun? Kate looked around the beach and didn't see her. Sawyer held the baby out for everyone to see. Claire was excited for both Sawyer and Kate.

"Where's Sun?" Kate asked. No one said anything. Jin had walked over with Aaron and Hurley. Kate and Sawyer looked curiously at Jin.

"Sun...is...sleep." Jin said.

"Oh," Kate sighed. From the looks on everyone's faces, Kate was really scared something had happened to her.

"Did she have the baby?" Kate asked.

"No baby," Jin answered.

"Oh, Jin. I'm sorry," Kate whispered. She leaned forward and hugged Jin. She looked down at Aaron who was looking at both her and Sawyer curiously. It was clear that he hadn't recognized either of them.

"It's gonna be his birthday next week," Claire reminded them.

"Will he be ok if I pick him up?" Kate asked.

"You can try," Claire shrugged. "He has never been around 'strangers' before."

Kate bent down and picked Aaron up.

"Hi Aaron," she said. "I'm Kate. I used to know you."

Aaron whined softly and looked at Kate and then Sawyer.

"Yeah little man," Sawyer started. "I used to read to you. When Uncle Hurley would take care of you, you would cry, and I would read to you."

Aaron didn't respond. He looked like he didn't know what was going on, which he probably didn't. But he did stop whining when Sawyer started talking. Kate set the little boy back down and he hid behind Claire's legs.

"He'll get used to you guys. He'll realize that you belong here."

Kate nodded. She and Sawyer walked back to their tent. Kate half expected there to be nothing left inside the tent. Sure enough it was evident that someone had been going through their stash.

"Dammit," Sawyer sighed as he went through what was left of the stuff.

"Sawyer calm down," Kate chuckled.

"Kate?" Claire's voice came from behind them.

"Yeah," Kate looked up and smiled at Claire. Claire was holding Aaron's craddle.

"Aaron is too big for this now," Claire told her. "You guys could use it. By the way...you never told us the baby's name."

"Oh," Kate stated. "Yeah, sorry. Just a little overwhelming with everyone. We named her Julie. There was this woman who helped us. Her name was Juliet and she saved both of our lives...well mine and the baby's at least. So we named her Julie."

"Excuse me," Sawyer began. "But I saved you."

"I know," Kate smiled and mocked him. "I know hon."

"You guys are so cute," Claire smirked. "Here's the crib."

"Thank you," Kate nodded. Sawyer lowered the baby into the crib. Kate almost looked offended. She took the baby out of the crib and held her in her arms. Sawyer tucked a stray piece of hair behind Kate's ear and looked down at the baby. When Sawyer touched Kate's hair she backed away from him and continued to look down at the baby.

"What's wrong?" Sawyer asked.

"Nothing," she answered. "I just don't really want to be touched right now. I'm holding the baby."

"I can see that," he half scoffed. "But she ain't breakable."

"Yes she is," Kate sighed. "She's still tiny and she's still not strong."

"Then why the hell did we walk for 4 hours today in the jungle? So that she could get hurt?"

"Stop it," she half whispered. "I just want to sit here with my baby."

"Be my guest," Sawyer sighed. He got up and left the tent. He went to sit in the airplane seats. Kate had been moody for the past 2 months. Sawyer knew that it had to be normal...maybe it was post partem depression. She had definitely been up and down with her mood swings and it was starting to make Sawyer mad. He sat with his arms crossed in front of his chest and waiting for Kate to get over whatever was pissing her off.

"Sawyer?" Claire asked.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he answered. "Kate's a little moody, but other than that I'm just fine."

"She's just getting used to being a mom," she told him.

"Well, she's been a mom for almost 3 months," Sawyer scoffed. "You'd think she would be used to it by now."

"Aaron is almost a year old," Claire reminded him. "And I'm still not used to it. But it will get better and better and pretty soon she'll be back to being herself."

"I dunno Claire," he sighed. "She's just so hot and cold. One minute she's all over me and one minute she wants nothing to do with me."

"I'm sure that's not true," she answered. "She probably wants you there all the time, but sometimes she just needs some space. Has she even had any alone time with the baby? And I mean like real alone time."

"I guess not," he responded.

"Don't worry," Claire said quietly. "She'll get better. She'll be herself soon."

Sawyer sat outside for a few minutes more and then went back into the tent. Kate looked up at Sawyer and she didn't look happy. She set the baby down in the crib and stared up at him.

"What's your problem?" he asked. Wrong question to ask an angry looking Kate.

"So I'm just an emotional basket case that you can't even stand to be near any more?" she questioned.

"I never said that," he defended himself.

"I heard you and your conversation with Claire," she sighed. "You think I've been hot and cold? Well I can give you cold Sawyer. No problem."

"You know that's not what I meant," he said sitting down next to her.

"I'm really pissed that you think that I'm too hot or too cold," she stated.

"You aren't," he said. "You aren't. I just miss you. I miss what we had. Since the baby has been born-"

"I've been a fridgid bitch?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "That's not what I was thinking. You're either pushing me away or pulling me close...I just want a happy medium."

She didn't say anything at first. She knew he was right. She hadn't really been herself for the past few months, but she had been full of anxiety and sadness because of the baby. Having a baby was supposed to be a happy event, not a scary and sad thing. Since the baby had been getting better, she realized that her behavior was definitely not her normal behavior. Sawyer was right.

"Yeah," she nodded. "You're right. You're right, I'm sorry. I want you all the time. And right now Julie is sleeping, and I don't see her waking up anytime soon."

He smiled at her and kissed her. She climbed on his lap and forced him to lay down. They had been kissing for only a few seconds.

"Kate!" Sun's voice sounded from outside of the tent. Kate got up off of Sawyer and opened the tent flap.

"Sun," Kate smiled. The two women hugged. Sawyer stood up and went to leave the tent.

"Sawyer you can stay," Sun told him. "So you guys had your baby?"

"No," Kate shook her head. "I had the baby."

"Watching you almost die was like going into labor," Sawyer mumbled. Kate let out a laugh and looked at him. She looked back at Sun with sympathy.

"I'm really sorry about your baby," Kate said quietly.

"It's ok," Sun nodded. "I'm actually pregnant again. I lost the baby about 7 months ago. About a week after you guys left actually. I figured out I was pregnant again a few weeks ago."

"Congratulations," Kate stated. She hugged Sun again. Sun looked down at Julie.

"She's beautiful," Sun told Kate.

"Thanks," Kate smiled. "She was way too early, but I guess she was just ready to see the world. She's just as stubborn as her daddy. She never gave up."

"If I'm not mistaken Freckles, she has your stubborness, and my strength."

"No," Kate shook her head. "My strength, your stubborness."

"Now who's being stubborn?" Sawyer asked.

"You're both stubborn, and your both strong," Sun stated. "So don't argue about it, because it will never work."

Kate smiled and nodded.

"Well I just wanted to say hello," Sun told them. "I'm really glad that you guys are back."

"G'night Sun," Kate smiled. She laid back down next to Sawyer and turned toward him. She started kissing him again and he put his arms around her and put his hands on her hips. He started moving his hands up the back of her shirt. She was kissing his neck and started taking his shirt off. They both groaned when the baby started crying.

"She's fine," Sawyer mumbled. "Just let her cry."

"Hell no," Kate scoffed. She pushed him off of her and sat up. She picked the baby up. She laid down next to Sawyer still holding the baby.

"We'll have to wait till tomorrow," Kate told Sawyer.

"Fine," he replied. "But we're getting a baby sitter so that super lungs over there doesn't disturb us. She has quite a loud cry for a baby who a couple months ago barely had any lung development."

"Well I'd rather have her have a really loud cry," she said. "It means that she is better Sawyer. Our baby is going to live."

"Told ya," he stated pulling Kate closer.

**A/N: OK so I'm not sure about the development of a premie. I know that they have to be in the hospital for a while, but any information that I'm off on I'm sorry...I'm not a doctor so I definitely don't know what I'm talking about, but I wrote it as best as I could. Anyway pleaase R & R!**


	19. Chapter 19

Kate was sitting on the beach with the baby. She was watching as Jin and Hurley played with Aaron. Claire was off taking a walk. She had invited Kate to come with her, but Kate didn't want to leave the baby. Sawyer had gone into the jungle with Desmond. Kate wasn't worried, but she had wanted Sawyer to stay with her. She didn't tell him to stay, so he didn't know that she wanted him to. Sun walked over to where Kate was sitting and sat down next to her.

"Hey Kate," Sun said.

"Hey," Kate smiled.

"Can I hold her?" Sun asked.

"Yeah," Kate handed Sun the baby and watched her.

"Kate!" Claire came running over to them.

"Yeah," Kate stood up and looked at Claire scared and slightly confused.

"I just heard the monster," she breathed. "Desmond and Sawyer are still in the jungle."

Kate took a deep breath. She knew that the smoke monster could kill both Sawyer and Desmond with one foul swoop. She looked into the jungle and then back at Claire.

"I'm sure they're fine," Kate said quietly, not entirely convinced. She sat back down and took another deep breath.

"Kate, I am sure that they are ok," Sun told her.

"Maybe," she whispered.

"They will be ok," Sun said. Kate nodded and looked down at the baby. Part of her wanted to go back to the medical hatch. Back where it was safe and where she and Sawyer could be together and not worry about anything. But she knew that she couldn't. She knew she had to stay on the beach with everyone else. She had missed going to the garden with Sun, and taking walks on the beach with Claire. It had been so long...She knew that her life on the island had changed drastically. She would no longer be the carefree Kate who went into the jungle to climb trees and find secret waterfalls with Sawyer. She was a mom now and would stay with her baby. She almost wished that Sawyer would feel the same way. He afterall was a dad. He shouldn't want to leave her or the baby. If something happened to him...she couldn't think about that. It was like worrying about Julie all over again. Sun could tell that Kate was anxious. She wished that Claire had kept her mouth shut. Nothing bad could happen to Sawyer. Sun knew that Kate needed Sawyer right now and if anything happened to him it would tear her apart.

"Kate," Sun whispered. She pointed her finger, and Kate followed it with her eyes. Sawyer and Desmond were coming out of the jungle like nothing had happened. Both of them were walking slowly and talking. Kate stood up and ran toward Sawyer. She jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around him.

"Hey," he half chuckled. "What's wrong? You ok? It's Julie...is Julie ok?"

"Yeah," Kate sniffled. "Yeah she's fine."

"What happened?" Sawyer asked. He lowered Kate down. She continued to hug him. He sighed softly and brushed her hair with his hand.

"The smoke monster," she whispered. "Claire heard it in the jungle. I was so worried. I thought for sure-"

"I'm fine," he assured her. "We didn't even hear the smoke monster, let alone see it."

"It's after me," she swallowed hard and looked up at Sawyer. "The smoke monster. It's after me. Every time it's come close to any of us it's always because of me."

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "It's not after you sweetie."

"Yes it is," she nodded. "If anything happens to you or Julie it's going to be my fault."

"Kate," he started. "You're crazy. No. It just can't be. The smoke monster isn't after you."

He and Kate walked back to where Sun was still sitting holding Julie. Sawyer bent down and took the baby from her. Kate took the baby from Sawyer and held her closely.

"Kate," Sawyer half scoffed.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you gonna let me do anything?" he asked.

"I didn't know you wanted to," she replied.

"Of course I do," he said. "I just want to hold her. I know you haven't had very many chances to hold her, but neither have I."

"You held her for 4 hours yesterday when we were walking through the jungle."

"I know," he nodded. "It doesn't matter. Nevermind."

"Ok," she ducked into the tent and waited for Sawyer to follow her. She wanted him to come with her. She wanted him to sit in the tent with her and the baby. But since she ducked into the tent without saying anything, Sawyer had no idea that she wanted to be followed.

"Dada!" Sawyer turned around and saw Aaron running toward Desmond and Claire. Claire's cheeks were turning bright red. She bent down and picked up the little boy and Desmond reached out and took his hand. Claire spotted Sawyer watching them and whispered something to Desmond. Desmond took Aaron from Claire's arms without hesitation and Claire started walking toward him.

"Hey," Claire stated jogging up to him.

"Hi Mamacita," he half mumbled.

"Come with me," she said. She started walking down the beach and Sawyer followed her.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Away from your tent," she stated.

"Really?" he chuckled. "And why is that?"

"Because I don't want you to get into trouble with Kate again," she told him. "Ok...so here's the deal. What's going on with you and Kate?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Before you guys left...well before you were kidnapped...you were so in love. You never wanted to spend a day apart, and now...it seems like you're avoiding each other."

"Well to tell you the truth I guess I am," he said. "I feel like I'm going to say something wrong. Every time I open my mouth."

"Sawyer stop being a guy and just go in to your tent," she scoffed. "You're not going to say anything wrong. Just go in there...take the baby from her and tell her that you love her. I really think that's all she needs to hear."

"I do tell her. I tell her all the time," he protested.

"Stop arguing with me and do as I say," she replied. She pointed back towards his tent and he nodded. He started walking back to his tent.

"Sawyer!" she called before he could get any further. "In 10 minutes I'm coming to get the baby."

"Ok," he let out a short, soft chuckle. She waved a him to continue into the tent. He ducked into the tent and looked down at Kate.

"Hi," she whispered. Without speaking he sat down next to her and took the baby from her. She scoffed softly, but allowed him to continue. He put the baby down in the crib and laid down taking Kate with him.

"I love you," he said.

"Why?" she asked.

"What?" he questioned. _Why was she asking him that?_

"Why do you love me?" she repeated.

"Because you're beautiful," he kissed her. "You're amazing (_kiss)_, you're a complete sweetheart _(kiss),_ and I'm pretty sure that you love me_.(kisses)"_

"I do," she nodded. "God, I'm sorry Sawyer. I'm so sorry. What's the matter with me?"

"Nothing," he hugged her tightly. "Kate, you're just exhausted I think. You've spent the last 3 months worrying about Julie and you haven't had any time to just relax."

"I don't think that we're ever going to be able to relax Sawyer," she told him. "I mean, I want to, but we have a baby now."

"We also have about 30 babysitters," he reminded her. She smiled at him and put her head down.

"Knock knock," Claire said from outside of the tent. She entered without waiting for an answer. "I'm stealing your child. Deal with it."

Claire bent down and carefully took Julie. Sun followed her and took the crib. Sawyer raised his eyebrows at both women, giving them a silent thank you and they left just as quickly as they entered.

"Sawyer," Kate sighed. "What-"

"Shh," he said. "You're going to relax for one night...or at least for a couple hours. What we do with our time will be entirely your choice."

"I love you," she smiled. She rolled toward him and kissed him softly, but deeply. She climbed on top of him and continued to kiss him.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked pushing her upward slightly.

"Sawyer," she started. "It's been over 3 months."

"I know," he nodded.

"Every time we've tried to do anything something has happened to stop us," she continued.

"I know," he repeated.

"Yes," she answered his question simply. "I definitely want this."

Kate was laying in Sawyer's arms. She had his hand in hers and brought it up to her mouth. She kissed his hand and rolled over so she was facing him. He moved the hair out of her face and kept his hand on her face. They could both hear crying, and they both knew that it was Julie. Sawyer half expected Kate to jump up and run out of the tent naked, but she stayed where she was.

"You're not going to go check on her?" he asked.

"Nah," she said. "She's with Claire and Sun...if something is really wrong they'll come get us."

"I'm so glad that you said that," he chuckled. They both laid there not talking, instead listening to the sounds of the beach. They could still hear the baby crying, but soon enough they heard Sayid and Hurley's voices and the baby stopped crying. Hurley was telling some lame joke, that made Claire chuckle sweetly and softly. Sawyer rolled his eyes and Kate softly laughed, muffling it against Sawyer's chest. Sayid began to tell some story in Arabic. Kate smiled widely.

"Our daughter can be bilingual," she said.

"Trilingual," Sawyer stated. "If she keeps hanging out with Desmundo."

"Desmond speaks english," she chuckled.

"I know," he smiled. "But what about Jin-san and Tokyo Rose?"

"Well they can definitely teach her Korean," she stated. Now the only sound that could be heard was the ocean and the soft crackling of a near by fire. They laid quietly for another 30 minutes before she looked up at Sawyer with puppy eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"I did good right?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"I mean...I haven't asked once to go get the baby...and I have been really good about not talking about her right?" she inquired.

"Yes," he chuckled.

"Can I go?" she half begged. "Can I go get her?"

He let out a laugh that sounded like a sigh and nodded.

"I'll come with you," he told her. They both got dressed and went outside of the tent. Desmond was holding Aaron on his lap and showing him something. Aaron was laughing and looking up at Desmond. Kate and Sawyer couldn't help but notice that Claire was resting her hand on Desmond's thigh and they looked very friendly toward each other.

Sun and Jin were sitting at the fire too. Sun was holding Julie and Jin was looking down at the baby. He was saying something to Sun in Korean. Neither Kate nor Sawyer spoke a word of Korean, but they both knew that he must be talking about the baby that Sun was now carrying. Sawyer took Kate's hand and they walked over to the group. Hurley was telling a scary story and Aaron began to whine.

"Don't scare him jumbotron," Sawyer stated noticing Aaron's scared look on his face. Kate went right over to Sun and took the baby from her. Sawyer and Kate sat down next to each other. Aaron looked curiously at Sawyer. He wriggled out of Desmond's arms and walked unsteadily toward where Kate and Sawyer were sitting. Kate smiled at Aaron as he took a seat on Sawyer's lap.

"What do I look like, a chair?" Sawyer asked putting his arms up and looking down at the one year old. Aaron nodded his head and looked at his mom. Desmond had now taken Claire's hand in his own and was trailing a single finger up and down her arm.

"So uh, Claire..." Sawyer began. "You need us to watch your rugrat now while you and Desi have some alone time?"

"No," she chuckled. "We're still taking it slow. But you caught on fast."

"I wonder why?" Kate said with a smile. "You guys are definitely a little too obvious."

The group spent the night talking. At around 9:00 Aaron fell asleep on Sawyer's lap.

"Kid's droolin' on me," Sawyer said, but he said it quietly enough not to wake the toddler.

"I'm sorry," Claire giggled. "I'll come get him."

"No use wakin' him," Sawyer said. "I'll take him into your tent."

He stood up carefully and craddled the child in his arms. He walked over to Claire's tent and put him down in the small bed in the sand. As he walked away he saw his bottle of whisky. He picked it up and brought it back to the fire.

"What's this doin' in your stuff mamacita?" he asked.

"Oh, that's mine," Desmond answered reaching forward and attempting to grab the bottle. Sawyer held it back, and the rest of the people at the fire let out short chuckles.

"What?" Claire asked.

"Claire, you didn't tell us that Des has been sleepin' in your tent," Hurley told her. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink and she hid her face in her hands. Desmond put his arm around her and scoffed.

"What we do is none of your business. Now if you would give me my whisky back," Desmond held out his hand for Sawyer to give him the bottle.

"No," he answered. "This is mine. It was in my stash and you stole it."

"Sawyer after you left we kinda made a rule that everything is being shared," Hurley informed him.

"Ok then," Sawyer replied. "Then let's share it."

He took a deep swig from the bottle, almost emptying it, and handed it to Kate.

"I don't drink whisky," she said in a snotty voice.

"Ooh, well, princess it's all that we have," Sawyer stated, and handed her the bottle again. She smirked and took the bottle. She took a small sip and passed the bottle to Jin. Jin didn't take any and neither did Sun. Hurley finished the bottle up and suggested to the group that they sing.

"No way," Sawyer scoffed. "I'm definitely not drunk enough for that."

"Aw come on," Kate begged. "We should sing. If you sing I'll let you hold the baby."

"I shouldn't have to be bribed to hold my own baby," Sawyer scoffed.

"Fine," Kate sighed. "Here."

"I don't want you to do me any favors," Sawyer said.

"Do you want to hold her or not?" Kate asked. Sawyer held his arms out and Kate placed the baby in them. Sawyer held the baby and Hurley began to sing quite loud. He was singing a song that none of them recognized, in fact they were pretty sure he was just making it up.

Later on they all headed to their own tents. Sawyer noticed that Desmond was pretending to go to his own tent, but then he turned at the last minute and went into Claire's. Sawyer set the baby in the crib and laid down. Kate followed him and sighed deeply into the pillow.

"Now what's wrong?" he asked, half joking.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "Just tired."

"Uh huh," he said. They both stayed quiet for a few minutes until Kate broke the silence.

"Do you want another baby?" she asked.

"Are you freaking nuts?" he practically yelled. "After everything we went through with Julie? We're not ready for another kid."

"No," she rolled toward him and smiled. "I know...I don't mean right now. I mean like in the future. Would you ever want another kid?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Depends on how much we screw this one up I guess."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed, with a smile on her face. She shoved him gently and looked up at him. "I'm serious."

"So am I," he responded. "I think we better just wait to see how this one turns out. What if I'm a horrible dad?"

"You're not," she answered. "I can already tell that you're not. You're a great dad. And you love Julie so much."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I do love her, and I love you. And being that we're on an island with no birth control and with the fact that men have 5 times more sperm...the posibility of you getting knocked up again is probably pretty big...but I definitely think we should wait as long as possible."

"I know," she whispered. "I just want a little baby James."

"We ain't naming him James," he grumbled.

"That isn't what I meant," she shook her head. "I mean...ok we already have a baby Kate...you know a baby girl, who's already looking like me-"

"She's gorgeous...just like you," he interrupted.

"Well I want a gorgeous baby boy who will look just like his daddy," she told him.

"Who's to say if you get pregnant that we'll have a boy. Maybe you'll have 9 more kids and they'll all be girls."

"We'll stop before that happens...long before," she stated.

"But I thought you wanted a boy," he smiled.

"I do, but I definitely only want 2 kids...3 at the most."

"So what are we just gonna stop having sex after you have 3 kids?" he asked.

"Works for me," she answered raising her eyebrows. "If it's gonna keep me from having more kids, I'll definitely stop having sex with you."

"Well then we have to think of some kind of birth control," he told her. "Cuz the last thing I want to do is to stop-"

"How 'bout condoms?" she asked. "Weren't there any in the hatch when you raided the pantry?"

"Unfortunately no," he chuckled. "But I did find a box in some of the luggage...however since my stash has been raided I dunno if they're even still there."

"Maybe Juliet has some," she offered.

"We'll have to go ask her," he nodded. "Tomorrow if necessary."

**A/N: Please please review!!!**


	20. Chapter 20

Kate woke up to the baby crying. She expected Sawyer to moan and groan, but he slept right through it. This was very unusal considering if someone talked too loud outside of their tent Sawyer would wake up and grumble, but Kate thought nothing of it and figured that he was just tired. She sat up and picked Julie up out of the crib. She decided that she would leave the tent before Sawyer did wake up and complain about the baby's crying. When she came out of the tent she saw Claire sitting on the beach holding Aaron between her legs. Aaron was looking up at the blonde woman with curiousity.

"Hey," Kate said walking over to her.

"Oh good morning Kate," Claire replied. "How are you?"

"We're good," she smiled.

Kate sat down in the sand with Claire. They spent the morning chatting and playing with Aaron. Claire asked to hold the baby while Kate took Aaron. Kate handed Julie to Claire and Aaron crawled over Kate's legs. He refused to sit still and Kate was beginning to regret swapping kids.

"Kate, dude," Hurley said slightly out of breath as he ran toward the two women.

"Hey," Kate stood up. "What's wrong?"

"It's Sawyer," he told her. "He doesn't look well."

"Well what happened?" Kate asked, slightly panicked. She and Hurley walked back up to her tent and he told her that Sawyer was making odd sounds and he looked sick. Kate ducked into the tent and knelt down next to Sawyer.

"Hey," she whispered. He didn't answer but rolled toward her. He definitely looked sick. Kate wasn't sure what kind of sick it was, but he looked bad. She bent down and brushed her hand over his forehead.

"You're burning up," she told him.

"Yeah, well I don't feel so hot," he half chuckled, and began to cough. She let out a small chuckle too.

"Well if you're sick I have to leave. I'm not going to be able to spend the night here tonight," she told him. She began to leave, but before she did Sawyer grabbed on to her wrist to try to make her stay. He didn't have a firm enough grip to actually pull her back into the tent, but she stayed there out of pity.

"What?" she asked.

"Please don't go," he whispered.

"Sawyer you're such a baby," she laughed. "You'll be fine. I can't stay in here and risk getting sick and then getting the baby sick. That's the last thing we need."

Kate got up again and without protesting Sawyer let her leave. She walked back down to where Claire was sitting with the baby. Aaron standing next to Claire looking at the baby curiously. He was tapping Claire on the shoulder, clearly trying to get her attention. She didn't seem to notice and was more occupied with watching the baby. She was tickling the baby's chin and giggling along with Julie. Aaron was jealous. He reached over and hit the baby. Not hard, he was only one year old, but hard enough for Julie to cry. Claire gasped and turned toward Aaron. Kate ran toward where Claire was sitting and took the baby from her to calm the baby down.

"I am so sorry Kate," Claire said. "I don't know why he would do that."

"I do," Kate chuckled. "Aaron wanted his mommy's attention. Julie's ok."

She bounced gently and Julie quieted down. Aaron didn't have a lot of words in his vocabulary yet, but he knew that his mom was mad. And he also knew the word sorry.

"Aaron Littleton tell Kate and Julie that you are sorry," Claire stated for the second time.

"Sowy Kay," Aaron said quietly.

"It's ok," Kate nodded. "Julie's ok."

Claire sighed somewhat deeply and picked Aaron up. The two women stayed on the beach most of the day. They went on a walk on the beach with the kids in their arms. They talked and started becoming best friends again. They decided that they would go visit Sun at her garden. They left the kids in the care of Jin, Hurley and Desmond. Kate kept asking Claire questions about how the men were with Aaron. Claire continued to reassure Kate that all three of the men were great with kids and they wouldn't let anything happen to Julie. After helping Sun for a while all three women decided to walk back to the beach. When they got there the men were all playing cards. Aaron was sitting on Desmond's lap 'helping' him play poker. Kate saw the baby's crib sitting between Jin and Hurley, but with a closer look she noticed the baby wasn't in the crib.

"Where's the baby?" she asked quickly running up to the group.

"Sawyer took her," Hurley replied.

"You let Sawyer take the baby!" Kate practically screamed. Sawyer came out of the tent quickly and put the baby back in the crib.

"Kate relax," Sawyer began. "I was just changing her."

"Sawyer you're sick. You have a fever and you can barely move," she replied with a sigh. "I swear, if she gets sick..."

"Blame it on me," he mumbled. "I know. Who else would you blame?"

"Well actually she could blame us," Hurley suggested. "We were supposed to be watching her and making sure that she was safe."

Kate picked up the baby and checked her forehead. She looked at the baby closely to see if she looked different.

"Kate, Sawyer only had her for 5 minutes while he changed her diaper," Hurley assured her. "She's not sick. I promise. She's not sick."

"Ok," Kate nodded. "What are we going to do? I can't stay in the tent tonight. Can I stay with you Claire?"

"Uh, sure," she said slightly hesitating.

"Oh, Claire. No. I'm sorry. I never should have asked. That was supid of me," Kate sighed.

"No...it's ok," Claire replied with a nod.

"No, it's not," Kate answered. "We can stay in the same tent. It's no big deal. I'll just make sure that Sawyer stays away from Julie."

"I can watch Julie tonight," Hurley suggested. "I'm wide awake. I don't think that I'll be going to sleep at all tonight."

"What are you talking about?" Kate chuckled.

"Seriously," he nodded. "Lemme take care of Julie tonight. And if she cries or something and I can't get her to stop I'll come get you."

"Ok," Kate whispered. "Are you sure? I feel-"

"It's cool," he answered. "Me and the kid can bond. And maybe you and Sawyer can bond."

Hurley smiled widely at his own joke and raised his eyebrows. Everyone else laughed too. Kate shook her head.

"I don't think we'll be doing much bonding, with the condition that he's in," she laughed again.

Everyone left the fire and went back to their own tents. Kate ducked into her tent and Sawyer was laying on his back snoring very loudly. In fact she could hear the snoring before she went into the tent but she was hoping that it was her imagination. She laid down next to him and pushed him over to his side so that his snoring would stop. He rolled back over, all the way over so that he was now facing Kate. He wrapped his arms around her. Kate wasn't sure if he had woken up, or if it was just an automatic reflex...every night they slept with Sawyer's arms around her and Kate snuggled against his chest. Sawyer began to kiss Kate's neck and run his hand up and down her back. She was pretty sure that he was awake. She chuckled slightly and pushed him off of her.

"Sawyer you're sick," she reminded him. "I just don't think that it's a good idea."

"I feel much better," he whispered.

"I'm sorry that I didn't take care of you today," she said.

"I know," he nodded. He backed away and looked at her. She closed her eyes and smiled widely at him.

"I did want to spend the day taking care of you, and if Julie wasn't here I would have done it in a second."

"I know," he nodded again. "I know that the baby always has to come first."

"Well Hurley is taking care of her tonight," Kate said. "So I can take care of you all night tonight."

She felt his forehead with the back of her hand and then brought her lips to it. He still felt warm. She quickly got up and held up a finger to tell him "one minute". She ran down to the water. She looked around and saw that everyone was in their tents, and there was no one around. She was wearing a bra, and so she took her shirt off, quickly put it in the water and ran back to the tent. She walked toward Sawyer who was now smiling widely at her. She knelt back down next to Sawyer and put the wet t-shirt on Sawyer's forehead.

"How 'bout you come a little closer and warm me up," he grinned. He pulled Kate closer and she backed away.

"I think you're warm enough," she chuckled.

"I have an idea Freckles," he half mumbled.

"What's your idea?" she laughed.

"Tomorrow we go out to our waterfall," he said. "We just spend the day together. Don't worry at all about the baby."

"You know that won't happen," she half giggled. "You could take me to some kind of paradise beach and I'd still worry about Julie."

"I know," he stated pulling her closer. "I just want to spend the day worshiping you. I want to take you to our waterfall."

"Ok," she whispered. "Tomorrow we'll go to the waterfall."

* * *

The next morning Sawyer woke up and was aparently feeling much better. He had rolled himself so close to Kate that she felt like he was trying to smother her. She woke up and groaned softly. She pushed against him, but the more she pushed the closer he inched his way next to her.

"Sawyer," she grumbled.

"What?" he asked putting his lips on hers so she didn't have a chance to answer.

"Can you get off of me?" she asked.

"Nope," he answered. He kissed her again. She pushed against him hard enough to get him off of her.

"I'm going to go get the baby," she told him.

"No," he shook his head. "You're going to come with me to the waterfall."

"I'm not allowed to go get the baby first?" she asked.

"No," he answered. "You're going to come with me right now to the waterfall."

"I want to at least say goodbye to our daughter is that ok?" she asked. "We haven't seen her since 10 o'clock last night."

"Ok," he sighed. He stood up and took her hand to help her stand. They walked out on the beach. Kate scanned it to look for Hurley. He was sitting in the sand with Aaron and Claire. Kate walked over to them and took Julie from Hurley's arms.

"Was she ok?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "She was a little fussy, but uncle Hurley calmed her down."

Kate smiled and looked down at the baby. Sawyer came up behind her and whispered into her ear. "Let's go."She smirked and handed the baby to Sawyer. Sawyer held the baby for 30 seconds before handing her back to HUrley and then taking Kate by the arm. Kate looked up at Sawyer and pouted.

"I miss my baby," she half whined.

"You'll deal with it," he replied. "Let's go."

"I don't want to," she said.

"Yes you do," he nodded. "You'll regret it if you don't come with me."

"Is that so?" she asked. "I almost think I'll regret it if I do go."

"Come on Freckles," Sawyer sighed. "Let's just go. Julie will be fine. Hurley and Claire will take care of her, and everything will be fine."

Kate reluctantly walked away with Sawyer and toward their waterfall. While they walked through the jungle Kate pouted the entire way. She didn't respond to Sawyer taking her hand. Sawyer stopped walking after the third try at taking Kate's hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked, turning back to look at him.

"What am I doin'?" he chuckled sarcastically. "What the hell are you doin'? All I'm tryin' to do is hold your hand and you're pullin' away from me. What's goin' on? And no excuses about Julie."

"Sawyer I don't like leaving her," she responded.

"She's with responsible people. Claire won't let Hurley eat her."

Kate cracked a smile and looked at Sawyer somewhat apologetically. She stepped toward him and took his hand in hers.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I know you just want to spend some time with me."

"I do," he nodded. "All I want is some time alone with you without a crying baby to interrupt us."

"Well I hate to break this to you Sawyer, but that's what having a baby is all about. We can't have very much alone time any more."

"Well will you please just give me a couple hours?" he asked. Kate nodded and walked the rest of the way to the waterfall holding Sawyer's hand. When they got there Sawyer quickly pulled his shirt off and picked Kate up.

"What are you doin'?" she asked with a short laugh. He didn't answer and instead ran toward the water. He splashed into the water still holding Kate. He dunked his head under the water, bringing Kate with him. He kissed her lips. She came up for air first and took a deep breath.

"You couldn't have let me take my jeans off?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh. Allow me," he answered. He unbottoned her jeans and helped her scoot out of them. She smiled at him as he threw her jeans up on the rocks.

"I thought you wanted to visit Juliet for condoms before we did anything," she whispered.

"I don't think that I'm going to be able to wait," he said. "And I really don't want to have to."

"Good answer," she kissed his lips and wrapped her legs around his waist. He swam with her over to where the waterfall was. They both climbed up on to the rocks and continued to kiss and remove other articles of clothing.

* * *

Sawyer was holding Kate tighter than normal. He wasn't planning on letting her go any time soon. Kate was able to get herself away from him and jumped back into the water. She tried hard not to think about the dead bodies, and swam as quickly as she could to the other side. Her jeans were still wet, but she managed to pull them on. Sawyer follwed her and climbed out of the water.

"Sawyer," Kate began, sounding a little too serious.

"Kate," he answered.

"What's going to happen if I get pregnant again?" she asked quietly.

"Well then you're going to have another baby I guess," he chuckled.

"I'm serious," she sighed. "I don't want to have to go through all that again. And if we're not with Juliet...I mean...I know they kidnapped us but if it weren't from them me and Julie would probably be dead."

"Well then I guess we'll go find them," he answered. "We know where their village is...so we'll just go there and have them help you again. Do you think you're pregnant?"

"God I hope not," she chuckled. "I'm just saying. It's still a posibility so I want to be ready."

"Well then we'll be ready," he told her. "I won't let anything happen to you Freckles."

They both heard the groaning metallic sound of the monster. Kate looked at Sawyer frightened and they both started to run.

**A/N: Will you please review? I haven't had very many for this story and I would love to have more for this chapter so if you could take a few seconds please please please review, with sugar on top! Thanks!**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N:Thanks to all of my reviewers! Yeah so this fic is definitely not complete. Sorry to those of you who saw that I had accidentally marked it as complete, because there's definitely more. Sorry about that.**

**_Short Recap: Kate and Sawyer have just heard the monster and are now running through the jungle.-Told ya it was short._**

Kate was running as fast as she could, she was ahead of Sawyer. Sawyer was right behind her and almost tripping over her as he ran. They found the beach and both stopped running. Kate was breathing heavily, Sawyer could tell that she was trying to hide sobs. Sawyer walked in front of her and sighed.

"You ok?" he asked.

"No," she answered and shook her head. "I'm not ok Sawyer. Whatever the hell that thing is...smoke monster whatever, it's not going to stop until I'm dead."

"Kate, you're-what are you talking about?" he asked. "It's not after you."

"Yes it is," she nodded. "For some reason it won't come onto the beach, but whenever that thing shows up I just happen to be around. It's out to get me."

Sawyer sighed again and stepped toward Kate. He hugged her close and she backed away. They walked back to their tent and where their camp was. Claire came running up to Sawyer and Kate.

"They took them," she sobbed.

"What?!" Kate yelled. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"They came, and they took the babies. Both of them."

"Are you saying that Julie is gone?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "They're gone."

Sawyer closed his eyes. Kate collapsed into tears next to him. He squatted down and held her in his arms. She was sobbing so hard that she wasn't taking breaths.

"Kate," he whispered. "I'll get her back. We're going to get them both back."

Kate nodded slowly, but she still wasn't taking a breath.

"Kate, breathe," Sawyer said quietly. "Take a breath."

She sniffled and took a deep breath of air into her lungs. She stood up quickly and went to the tent. Sawyer followed her asking her what she was doing. When she got to the tent she quickly picked up her backpack and two water bottles that were sitting in the sand.

"If we're gonna go, let's go," she said wiping her tears off her face.

"I'm coming too," Claire stated coming up behind them.

"Claire I don't think that's a good idea," Sawyer replied.

"No," she interjected. "No. Aaron is my whole world, and I'm coming with you."

"Me too," Desmond said grabbing on to Claire's hand.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "Kate and I, we know these people. We were with them for 6 months. It's got to be just us."

"No!" Claire screamed. "They took my baby!"

"You know what Claire," Kate sighed. "You know I love you, but no. Sawyer's right. They took my baby too, and she's only 3 and a half months old. She's so little. Aaron's at least-no. I know how you're feeling right now. We have to do this. Me and Sawyer are going back to get the babies."

"Claire," Desmond turned toward her when he saw that she was going to protest again. "I think they're right. Kate and Sawyer will go get Aaron back. They won't let anything happen, but since both of them know the Others, let them go."

"You guys are going to get the babies back?" Hurley asked walking up to them. "Dudes, I'm so sorry. I know I was supposed to look after Julie. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok," Kate sniffled. "We just have to get her back."

"I do not think that is a good idea," Sayid walked over to the group.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kate asked. "We have to go get our daughter back."

"I think you should stay for the night. The day is more than half over. By the time you get there it will be dark."

"Yeah," Sawyer sighed.

"Sawyer!" Kate screamed. "No way! We're not spending another night away from our baby!"

"I know," he told her. "I see what Sayid is saying, but that don't mean we're listening. We're going."

"Ok," she breathed.

Kate and Sawyer made their way into the jungle. Kate was walking so quickly that Sawyer had to walk in a jog to keep up with her.

"Kate, slow down," he said.

"No," she answered. "We both know exactly where we're going and I'm not slowing down till I get there."

They walked for 3 hours when they arrived at the otherville. Sayid was right. The sun was already starting to set. Kate looked around and spotted Juliet. She was sitting on one of the porches holding Julie on her lap. Kate ran toward Juliet and up the steps.

"Give her back!" Kate screamed. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Kate," Juliet said calmly. "Are you pregnant?"

"What?" Kate asked. "No. Give me back my baby."

Juliet sighed and handed the baby up to Kate. Kate held Julie close to her body and rocked back and forth.

"You're ok," Kate whispered. She continued to whisper into the baby's ear and rock her body. Sawyer came up behind her and put one hand on Kate's shoulder and the other on the baby's head. He glared at Juliet who had the smirk on her face that made Sawyer want to punch her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sawyer asked.

"We have to give Kate a pregnancy test again," Juliet stated.

"What the hell are you talking about? You don't have to do anything. Kate's not pregnant," Sawyer shook his head. "We've had sex twice and both times were within the last couple days. A pregnancy test isn't going to work that soon. Any idiot knows that."

"Ok," Juliet nodded. "You're right. But what if she does get pregnant again Sawyer?"

"Well we'll deal with that then. Now where's the other baby?"

Juliet didn't answer. Kate wasn't paying attention to anything that either of them were saying. She sat down on the step with the baby and held her tighter than necessary.

"Tell me where Aaron is right now," Sawyer demanded.

"He's fine," she replied.

"I didn't ask how he was," he growled. "I asked where he was. Where the hell is he?"

Juliet started leaving. Sawyer quickly grabbed her arm tightly.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"To go get Aaron," she replied quietly. Sawyer let go of Juliet's arm and sat down on the step with Kate. Kate was still whispering to Julie. He couldn't hear exactly what she was saying, but he was pretty sure it was something to do with keeping her safe and away from the psycho bitch.

"I'll be right back ok," Sawyer whispered. Kate didn't answer. He wasn't even sure if Kate had heard him. He went into the house and saw Juliet bringing Aaron out.

"I have a question," Sawyer asked.

"Ok," she nodded. "Ask away."

"What would make you think that Kate was already pregnant?" he asked. "We've been away from you guys for less than a week."

"Well we didn't know if you did anything while you were with us," she answered.

"Yes you did," he glared at her. "We know that there was cameras in our room and we also had no time alone because someone was always in our room."

"Yeah well I guess that much is true," she nodded. "But we did have to look after the baby. I mean not that you guys couldn't have watched her, but we needed someone who knew what they were doing...so is that the only reason why you came in here?"

"No," he grinned and looked down.

"Well speak up," she stated.

"Do you have condoms?" he asked with a smirk. "I mean...sorry to just blurt it out like that, but uh...you did seem concerned about Kate getting pregnant again-"

"Sawyer," Juliet interrupted and smiled a little wider than necessary. "Yeah. Just give me a second."

She handed Aaron to Sawyer and left the room again. Aaron looked at Sawyer and smiled. Sawyer knew that Aaron had been crying. He was scared.

"You're ok buddy," he said. "Was the psycho lady nice to you?"

He didn't really expect an answer but Aaron nodded and then squished his hands to Sawyer's cheeks. Sawyer couldn't help but smile. Juliet came back and handed Sawyer a box.

"That's it?" Sawyer asked. "We got about 15 horny men on our beach."

"Sawyer," she started. "It's a box of 100. And if that doesn't last you, that's your own problem."

Sawyer let out a chuckle and nodded.

"So are we free to go?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "And here. Just in case."

She handed Sawyer a pregnancy test and made sure that he had a firm grip on it. He nodded. He knew that if Kate did get pregnant again that he would have her come back to the other's camp. He knew she wouldn't want to come, but since they did save her the first time, he wasn't going to take any chances. He walked out of the house and put a hand back on Kate's shoulder to get her attention. She looked up at him and they both walked back to the beach, each of them holding a baby. They had been walking for about an hour. It was now dark. Sawyer couldn't see where they were going, but Kate seemed to know the path well enough not to need the light. They were walking much slower than they had walked there. Sawyer had asked twice if they should stop to make camp, but Kate insisted that they get Aaron back to Claire. Aaron continued to reach for Kate. Since Claire and Kate had been spending a lot of time together he knew Kate better than Sawyer. He was squirming in Sawyer's arms and reaching out for Kate.

"Kay!" he screamed.

"Aaron," Kate said quietly. "It's ok. Sawyer won't hurt you."

"Kay, kay, kay," Aaron chanted. He mananged to move around enough for Sawyer to almost drop him. Sawyer bent down and set Aaron down on the jungle floor. Aaron began to scream immediately. Sawyer picked Aaron back up and he quieted down somewhat but was still yelling for Kate.

"Ok," Sawyer grumbled. He put Aaron down again, and Aaron sat down, and screamed and cried. Sawyer took Julie from Kate, and Kate picked Aaron up. The rest of the walk was quiet. When they arrived back on the beach Claire was standing, waiting for Sawyer and Kate to return. When she saw them coming through the trees she ran to them and took Aaron from Kate. Aaron was now crying and so was Claire. Kate and Sawyer each patted Claire on the back as they walked back to their own tent. Desmond took Claire into his arms and they walked to their tent.

Sawyer sat down next to Kate and she dropped her head into his lap. He lifted Julie into the crib and put his hands on Kate's head. He stroked her hair, but stayed silent.

"We could have lost her today," she whispered. "I thought we did. I thought they were going to keep her from us."

He lifted Kate up to a sitting position and looked at her.

"We could have I guess," he nodded. "But we didn't. Julie is ok. She's ok."

"I'm regretting naming her after that bitch," Kate said shaking her head.

"She took them because she knew we'd follow them. She wanted you to take a pregnancy test."

"What?" Kate asked. "No."

"That's what she said," he nodded. "I think you were too busy to actually hear her but she wanted to make sure you weren't pregnant again."

"It's been less than 2 weeks since we had sex for the first time."

"I know," he answered. "They're psycho...But...on the plus side..."

He had put the box of condoms in the sand behind him. He had carried them in his hands the entire way back to the beach, but Kate hadn't noticed. He reached around and picked them up and handed them to her. She let out a chuckle and kissed him.

"Well..." she raised her eyebrows. "Do you think that 100 will last us?"

"No," Sawyer answered. "We have to share."

"Do we?" she asked. "We could just stash them away."

"We're supposed to share everything now right?" he asked.

"James...I'm very proud of you," she laughed. "You're going to share something this valuable?"

"Hmm," he groaned. "I don't really want to share, but I also don't really want a ton of other island babies. Two is enough for now."

Kate smiled and nodded.

"We can let people know about it tomorrow," she kissed him again and laid down. He held him in his arms and smiled back.

"I have another present for you too," he said. He handed her the pregnancy test. She scoffed loudly and shoved it back to him.

"No," he shook his head. "I'm not saying that I think you might be pregnant. Because you better not be. I'm only saying that when we do need it."

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"You said you wanted a James Jr. right?" he asked with a smile.

"Really?" she asked.

"If you want a little boy then I guess we can try if you want to. If you really want to. But not for a couple years," he told her.

"Deal," she replied. She kissed him again and snuggled against him.

**A/N: Please review! The next chapter is going to jump ahead a little bit. For all of you who are worried that Kate might get pregnant again...well it's not going to happen yet. **


	22. Chapter 22

** A/N: Like I said this chapter is going to jump ahead a little, so yeah.**

**_6 months later_**

Kate was standing in the surf with Julie. She was holding on to her hands and their feet were sinking into the sand. Julie was giggling. She was getting big. She and Aaron had started actually playing with each other. Juliet had come back a few times to examine Sun. No one else trusted her, but Sun seemed to and was greatful for everything that Juliet had done for her. Learning that the baby was actually Jin's made her happier than anything.

Sawyer was in the jungle with Sayid. They were hunting for boar. He almost thought it was a waste of time but he had read all the books in his stash at least 3 times and he was bored. He wanted something to do. Kate started to walk down the beach she smiled to herself thinking about how ridiculous Sawyer would look shooting a boar. She was listening to the waves crash on the beach. She could vauguely hear her name being called, and finally looked up.

"Kate!" Claire yelled.

"Yeah," Kate smiled. "Sorry. I was in my own little world."

"I can see that," she chuckled. "Sun. She's having the baby."

"Oh," Kate said quietly. She and Claire ran up to Sun and Jin's tent.

"Are you alright, Sun?" Kate asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "I'm scared, but I'm ok."

"You're going to be fine," Kate assured her, but really wasn't sure herself. She waited. Sun was in the beginning stages of labor. Kate knew that they would be waiting for a while. They all could hear comotion on the beach. Kate could hear Sawyer's angry voice. She knew if she walked over to him with the baby and handed her to him he would calm down.

"I'll be right back Sun," Kate whispered. Sun just nodded and looked at Jin who was smiling widely.

Kate walked over to Sawyer who was yelling, and then she noticed why. Juliet was trying to come towards Sun and Jin's tent. She was carrying a medical bag and arguing with Sawyer about letting her do her job.

"Sawyer what's going on?" Kate asked.

"She's trying to get to Sunshine," Sawyer replied.

"Calm down," Kate sighed. "Do you remember how Juliet helped me?"

"She didn't help you," Sawyer shook his head. "She let you die. I saved you."

"Sawyer where is all this coming from?" she asked. "It's going to be fine. And having a doctor to help deliver the baby would be pretty good, right?"

"Claire gave birth with no problem," he mumbled.

"Yeah, well Claire didn't concieve on the island. Plus Sun trusts her," she replied. Sawyer calmed down and stepped out of Juliet's way. Juliet gave Kate a small smile of appreciation. Sawyer looked at Kate and sighed.

"How's she doin'?" Sawyer asked stepping toward Kate and Julie.

"She's good until she hears her dad screamin' for no reason," she answered.

"Ok, sorry," he stated. "It's just-I want to protect anyone who I can."

"Well that doesn't sound like you," she snickered. "You want to 'protect everyone'. Come on Sawyer. That's just-that's so unlike you."

"I just-I want to keep that psycho away from you and Julie," he whispered.

"I know," she smiled. "But it's like _you_ said before. You said that she only took the babies because she knew that we would follow them."

"Yeah," he nodded. "But I only said that at the time so that you would calm down."

"So you didn't actually believe it?" she questioned with a laugh.

"Not really," he answered. "You were freaked out and you were regretting naming our baby Julie, and it's not like at that time we could have changed her name-"

"Yeah we could have," Kate chuckled. "It's not like she had a birth certificate or anything. She was only a few months old then too so it's not like she would have ever known that she used to have a different name."

"Well then we would have tried to come up with another name," he mumbled. "I didn't want to have to agree on another name."

Kate just smiled at him and handed him the baby before walking back to Sun's tent. When she got there Jin was yelling at Juliet in Korean. Juliet continued to work around the loudness of Jin. Sun was quietly calming Jin down and finally he allowed Juliet to work without another word. Kate decided to leave the tent and sit with Claire to wait for the baby to be born. The two women were talking about how exciting it would be to have another baby on the island. Kate told Claire that Sawyer thought it would be annoying to have another baby.

Kate walked back up to the tent and could hear Sawyer's voice. She opened the flap and saw him reading a book aloud to Julie and Aaron. Aaron wasn't paying attention and instead was trying to take Sawyer's glasses off his face.

"I'm tryin' to read," Sawyer sighed.

"No more," Aaron shook his head. Julie was sleeping soundly in Sawyer's arms and began to stir slightly when Sawyer stopped reading. Kate looked down at the group and smiled.

"Where mommy?" Aaron asked.

"She's down the beach honey," Kate told him. Aaron stood up and ran past Kate. Kate chuckled and sat down next to Sawyer.

"I can't believe she's almost a year old," Kate whispered laying her head on Sawyer's shoulder to get a better look at the baby.

"I know," he nodded. "A couple more months."

"Sun is going to have the baby soon," she said. "In a few hours we'll be hearing that excitement and comotion."

"Do you want to go give the baby to Claire?" he asked.

"Why?" she chuckled.

"So we can made out," he said simply.

"That's not all you want to do," she grinned.

"Damn right," he replied.

"Are you serious?" she asked. "You really-"

"Yes, I'm serious," he smiled. "I'm dead serious. Now go give Julie to one of the responsible adults on the beach and then come back to me...fine I'll go."

Kate glared at him and sighed. He stood up and took the baby from the tent. Kate started to follow him.

"Stay," he half demanded holding up a hand. She grinned and stayed sitting. Sawyer came back really quickly and laid down on top of her. She laughed loudly as he tickled her sides.

"Stop," she breathed. "Don't."

"You don't want me to stop," he smiled.

"Yes...I...do," she managed to say. "I can't breathe!"

Sawyer stopped, and she took a deep breath. She reached up and kissed him. They kissed each other and Kate helped Sawyer out of his shirt. He sat up and opened the suitcase at their feet. He gasped and looked at her.

"It's the last one," he whispered.

"Good thing Juliet's here, maybe we can get her to give us more," she said. She stood up and began to leave the tent. Sawyer caught her by the wrist and pulled her back down.

"Don't even think about leaving this tent," he whispered.

"What if she leaves before we can ask her for more?" Kate asked.

"Well that would suck," he replied with a smirk. He kissed her hard and pulled her closer.

"I'm going," she said. "I'm going to go ask Juliet-"

"Isn't Juliet a little busy helping Sun?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," she half groaned. "I guess you're right."

"Stay," he whispered. "Just stay here with me. Can we stay in here the rest of the night?"

"I don't know," she laughed. "Can we?"

"Just forget about everything," he continued.

"The last time we forgot about everything our daughter was kidnapped," she said. "Or don't you remember?"

"Of course I remember," he replied. "I just-it was six months ago."

"Yeah," she nodded. "And our baby is still a baby."

Kate and Sawyer laid in the tent not doing anything, but just laying in each other's arms. They both could hear people yelling outside of their tent. They were pretty sure that it was about Sun, but the voices were all overlapping and it was hard to understand.

"Shouldn't we-" Kate began.

"If they need us they'll let us know," he responded. He kissed her cheeks.

"Kate," Juliet's voice sounded outside of their tent. Sawyer grumbled loudly as Kate gave Juliet permission to enter the tent. Juliet ducked into the tent and saw that Sawyer wasn't letting Kate leave.

"Is Sun ok?" Kate asked quietly.

"Yes," Juliet nodded. "Both mom and son are great."

"She had a boy?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah," Juliet answered. "I was just coming in here to see how you guys were doing."

"We're fine," Sawyer replied. "We're more than fine."

"No we're not," Kate smiled at him. "Well our health is fine, but we're kind of running low on...well on something very important to all of us on the beach."

"You ran out of condoms?" Juliet asked.

"Not yet," Sawyer stated. "But after tonigh-"

"Sawyer!" Kate elbowed him in the ribs.

"Oh," he scoffed. "It's not like she wouldn't have figured it out."

"Ok," Juliet interrupted. "So you have been using them? Every time?"

"Well, pretty much," Sawyer whispered into Kate's ear.

"This is serious," Juliet folded her arms across her chest. "When Kate gave birth the first time it didn't go well if you don't remember."

"Hey," Sawyer said. "Both my girls are alive and healthy...to me that means it went well."

"Well it could have been better," Juliet argued. "I just don't want anything to happen to Kate. So you have to be more serious about this."

"Ok well do you have any more condoms?" Sawyer asked. "Because we're not stopping showing each other how we feel."

"You can love each other without having sex," Juliet answered.

"Maybe we don't want to stop having sex," Kate replied. "So do you have more condoms? Yes or no? It's really a simple question."

"Yeah," she nodded. "But not here. I have to go back. I'll come back tomorrow."

Juliet left the tent and Sawyer smiled widely at Kate. She acted as if she was going to kiss him, but instead she stood up and began to leave the tent.

"Where are you goin'?" he asked.

"To visit Sun," she answered quickly. "I want to see her and the baby."

Kate left the tent. Sawyer groaned again, but didn't follow her. She practically ran to Sun's tent and everyone who had gathered there dispersed and let Kate through. Kate sat down next to Sun and smiled at her.

"How are you?" she asked.

"A little tired, but alive," Sun smiled back.

"Congratulations Sun," Kate said quietly.

"Do you want to hold him?" Sun asked. Kate nodded and Jin handed her the baby. They decided to name him Steven. Kate stood back up and told everyone else to leave the couple alone. They all listened to her and dispersed. Kate looked around the beach to figure out who Sawyer gave the baby to. She couldn't see the baby anywhere. She went over to Claire's tent and ducked inside.

"Claire?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," Claire looked up from Aaron and smiled.

"Where's the baby?" Kate asked.

"Huh?" Claire chuckled.

"Where's Julie?" Kate questioned again.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Was I supposed to be watching her?"

"No," she answered. "I guess not."

She ran back to her own tent and ducked inside.

"Sawyer, where is the baby!?" Kate screamed.

"She's right here," Sawyer said quietly. "She's fine."

Kate sighed deeply and sat down next to him. She took the baby from his arms and sighed again.

"Kate, calm down," he chuckled. "What's the problem?"

"Sawyer, I didn't know where she was. I thought you gave her to Claire and I-I thought that Juliet took her again," she said.

"I'm not going to let that happen again," Sawyer replied.

"Well you were in the tent Sawyer, so anything can happen," she argued.

"She's fine," he said again. Sawyer took the baby back from her and pulled her back down to hold her. She sighed softly and kissed him. He started taking her shirt off and she pushed it back down.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a smile.

"The baby is sleeping," he whispered. "She's not going to wake up. That is if you can keep it down."

She rolled over and pulled him with her. She reached over and draped a blanket over the crib.

"Just in case," she whispered.

* * *

"Mama!" Julie was crying. Kate opened her eyes. _Did Julie just say mama? _She sat up and lifted the blanket off of the crib. Julie was crying and she reached out for Kate. Kate bent down and picked up the little girl. Sawyer had told Kate once that Julie had said dada, but Kate hadn't heard it and didn't believe him. 

"Mama!" Julie yelled again. Kate started laughing and praising the baby in her arms.

"Sawyer!" Kate nudged Sawyer with her legs. He rolled over and put the pillow over his head. "Sawyer!"

"What?" he mumbled.

"Julie just said mama," she informed him.

"I told you she's been saying dada for a month," he grumbled. Kate lifted the pillow off of his head, and then brought it back down.

"I'm excited that my baby is saying mama...can you let me have this moment?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "But do you mind goin' down the beach to have your moment?"

She let out a short chuckle, but stood up to walk down the beach. She went towards the water and sat down near the water.

"Do you want to put your feet in the water?" Kate asked Julie. She knew that Julie wouldn't answer her, but she stood up anyway to put both of their feet in the water.

"Stand up," Kate prompted. Julie knew how to stand, and she could take shakey steps. Julie put her feet in the water and as the water washed the sand from underneath their feet Julie giggled. Kate laughed with her and held Julie up. Kate's hair was dangling in her face. She let go of Julie's hands so she could put it up in a bun on top of her head. Julie started taking a couple steps.

"Julie," Kate warned. "Don't-"

Before Kate or Julie knew it Julie fell into the water and started to whine. Kate bent down and picked her up.

"Oh, you're ok," she soothed. She wiped the sand off of Julie's face gently.

"Dada," Julie said. She pointed toward the tent and Kate turned to look. Sawyer was coming out of the tent and brushing his hand through his hair. He looked toward Kate and Julie and smiled at them. Kate put Julie back down. She reached her arms up and began to whine and stomp her unsteady feet.

"Julie," Kate sighed. "Calm down. You're fine."

Julie continued to whine, and when Kate didn't give in she started crying. Kate bent back down and sat down, holding Julie on her lap. The waves ran over their legs and Julies whines and cries turned into laughter. Sawyer walked down and squatted next to Kate.

"You wanna sit with us?" she asked as Julie splashed in the water that had washed up on their legs.

"No," he answered.

"Come on, take off your pants and sit in the water with us," she half begged.

"Well I know it's hard for you to believe, but I don't want to take my pants off right now," he answered.

"Ok," she nodded. She pulled Sawyer down into the wave that had just came on to the shore. He splashed her, but mostly got the baby who started crying.

"Way to go," they both said.

"It wasn't my fault that you splashed us," Kate argued. "Go get me something to wipe her face off."

"Why can't you get it?" he asked.

"Because I'm sitting here with the baby and you don't want to sit in the water with us, so-just go."

He stood up and went up to the tent. He came back down quickly and handed Kate one of his t-shirts.

"This?" she asked. "Why couldn't you get me a towel?"

"It's the first thing I could find."

She wiped Julie's face off and handed the shirt back to Sawyer. Sawyer sat down next to her and leaned back with his elbows in the sand behind him.

"I thought you didn't want to sit with us," she said.

"Well my pants are already soaked. I might as well stay here," he sighed.

"You could have taken them off," she answered, raising her eyebrows.

"Watch it Freckles, or I'm gonna have to take you down the beach and-" he started.

"You better watch what you say around her," she said gesturing towards Julie.

"She don't know the difference," Sawyer argued.

"Just watch what you say," she replied.

"I will if you will babe," he stated with a smirk.

**A/N: Please review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thanks to my reviewers. Sassy made an excellent point. She reminded me that Sun lost her first baby...I guess I totally forgot about that haha...so yeah, I suck. Thanks for letting me know because that part in the previous chapter about Sun being greatful to Juliet doesn't make much sense, but hopefully not many people noticed it..haha...and if you did sorry about that. Anyway those kinds of reviews are always helpful so if you notice something that I missed let me know.**

Sawyer was in the tent making a bed for Julie. She had outgrown the crib about a month ago and was sleeping next to Sawyer and Kate. Sawyer thought she now needed her own bed. Kate came into the tent and looked at Sawyer confused.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm making a bed for Julie," he answered without looking up from his work. Kate took him by the hands to stop him.

"What do you mean?" she questioned.

"Uh," he began. "I'm making a bed for Julie. It's really very simple. I...am...-"

"Ok I get it," she interrupted. "I just don't get why."

"Um...because she's a year old and she doesn't fit in the crib any more, but that bed ain't big enough for the three of us, and I know I ain't gonna fit in the crib either. Besides, I want to be able to make out with you without our daughter laying right next to us. It gives me the creeps."

"We haven't made out with her laying next to us."

"Yeah and it sucks," he answered.

"Why?" she asked. "Once a week Claire comes and takes her off our hands."

He continued to make the bed. Kate rolled her eyes and then scooted over to help him. Sawyer then started making a curtain around the bed.

"Now what are you doing?" she chuckled.

"I'm making it so that if we're making out no little eyes can find us."

"I don't want her closed off to us," Kate said.

"Fine," he said. "But this fight isn't over yet. Where is the munckin?"

"Playing with Aaron," she replied.

"And how long will she be playing with Aaron," he asked seductively. He pulled her closer to him.

"I dunno," she whispered.

"Kate!" Claire exclaimed from outside of the tent. They could both hear Julie crying on the other side.

"Dammit," Sawyer half mumbled. Kate smiled and opened the flap.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned. Claire handed Julie to Kate and sighed.

"She fell and she wouldn't let me help her. She said she wanted you guys."

"Thanks," Sawyer said sarcastically.

"James," Kate sighed and smiled. "We are her parents."

Claire let out a chuckle and left the tent. Kate and Sawyer were able to calm Julie down quickly. Sawyer showed Julie her new bed, she wasn't impressed. She crawled over to Kate and sat on her lap.

That night Sawyer was waiting in the tent for Kate to come back from the jungle. When she came in the tent she was breathing heavily.

"What the hell-" Sawyer started. "What happened?"

"That damn smoke monster is what happened!" she yelled and then sighed. "I told you-I told you that thing is after me."

"Ok," he said. "I believe you. I believe you."

"No you don't," she stated. He wanted to believe her, but he still thought she was being paranoid. He sat still, and waited for Kate to come to him. She would eventually. Sure enough she moved toward him and put her head on his lap. She looked around the tent and noticed that Julie wasn't there.

"Where's Julie?" she whispered.

"She ain't here right now," he replied. "We got the tent to ourselves...but only for a little while."

"Ok," she grinned. "So how long do we have?"

"Not very long," he answered. She pulled him towards her and smiled before their lips touched.

* * *

"Kate," Claire whispered on the other side of the tent. Kate and Sawyer were laying in each other's arms. Sawyer was sleeping soundly, but Kate could hear Claire's voice. She sat up carefully, without waking Sawyer up. She opened the tent flap and looked up at Claire.

"She feels a little warm," Claire said quietly, handing Julie to Kate. "She's been whining and crying for the past half hour.

"Why didn't you come get me?" she asked.

"I didn't want to bug you," Claire answered.

"Well it's absolutely fine," Kate replied. "Sawyer might not have been happy, but he would have gotten over it."

"Ok," she smiled. "Goodnight."

"'night," Kate nodded.

"Mama," Julie whined.

"Hi," she said. "Are you ok?"

Julie's cheeks were pink and she did feel warm. Kate felt her forehead again and looked at her. Then Julie threw up on Kate. Kate nodded and looked down.

"Feel better?" Kate asked. She sighed and undressed Julie, and put her in clean clothes. Then she went down to the beach and walked into the water. She rinsed her shirt off and then came back out of the water. When she ducked into the tent she could hear Julie screaming, and Sawyer trying to calm her down. Kate took Julie from Sawyer.

"She's burning up," Kate whispered.

"I'll get a bottle of water to cool her off."

"Ok," Kate sighed and walked down the beach. She and Sawyer walked up and down the beach all night. Julie cried until she exhausted herself to sleep. Kate walked back up to the tent and put Julie down. As soon as she did Julie woke up and started to cry again. Sawyer closed his eyes and picked the baby up.

"Shhh," he said soothingly. "Go back to sleep. Please."

The baby ended up falling back to sleep a few minutes later and she was asleep for the night. Kate on the other hand was awake all night. She didn't feel like she could fall asleep and she kept checking on Julie every five minutes.

In the morning Kate took Julie down the beach so she could take care of her without all the island comotion. Sawyer woke up after Kate did and followed her tracks.

"How's the baby?" Sawyer asked coming upon Kate.

"She's still warm," Kate said. "I don't know what to do. I'd be scared if we weren't living on an island., but at least back in civilization there's a doctor."

"She'll be ok," he assured her.

"How do you know?" she half scoffed. "She might be really sick Sawyer. I just-sometimes I really wish that Jack was still alive."

"I know you do," he nodded. "I sometimes do too, but you nursed me back to health when I had a bullet in me. I'm sure you can nurse Julie back to health too. She probably just has the flu or something."

"I dunno," she shook her head.

"I do," he replied. "If she can survive being over 3 months premature, than she can survive anything."

Kate nodded and took another deep breath. Sawyer took the baby from Kate and walked into the water.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm coolin' her off," he answered. "C'mon."

She took her pants off and quickly went into the water. Julie didn't look any better and Kate began to get even more scared.

"I really think we should go to find Juliet," Kate told Sawyer. "I just-I just want to make sure that it's nothing bad."

"Ok," he nodded. "Ok, if that will make you feel better we'll go find her."

"Thank you," she whispered.

About 20 minutes later they were walking back through the jungle. Kate was carrying the baby. She flinched at every sound. She kept thinking that the smoke monster was going to come.

"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," she said. "Maybe you should have gone alone."

"Why?" he asked. "Oh the damn smoke? That smoke is not going to get us. I'll fight it off."

"Do you hear yourself?" she scoffed. "You can't fight smoke. It's smoke Sawyer."

"Kate, it's gonna be ok," he told her. "Look. We're here."

Kate looked up and sure enough the trees were getting thinner and they could see the village.

"Juliet!" Kate yelled when they came through the clearing. "Juliet!"

Juliet came out of on of the houses and ran toward her. She looked from Kate to Sawyer and then put her hands on her hips.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"She's sick," Kate told her. "Julie is sick. Help her."

Juliet held out her arms and Kate handed her the baby. Juliet started walking to her house. Kate and Sawyer followed closely behind. When they went into the house Juliet started examining the baby. Sawyer held on to Kate's hand, trying to reassure her. It didn't seem to be relaxing her at all, but she kept her feet firmly planted where she was standing.

"What's wrong with her?" Kate asked, shifting on her feet.

"Hold on," Juliet stated.

"No!" she yelled. "What the hell is wrong with our baby?"

"Well her parents are a little overprotective," Juliet replied sarcastically.

"Shut up," Sawyer interjected. "We're not overprotective dammit. But we're on a damn island with no doctor and you're not telling us how our baby is doing. So tell us right now...what's going on?"

"She just had a little touch of the flu," Julie told them. "She's going to be just fine. Just try to keep her cool until the fever subsides. She should be fine in a couple days. And if she isn't feel free to come back and scream at me."

On the way back home Kate heard the smoke monster. Sawyer didn't seem to hear anything, but she handed him the baby and told him to run. He did end up walking quickly back to camp carrying the baby, and Kate was close behind, but he continued to insist that he didn't hear anything.

"You're making me feel like I'm crazy. Is that what you want?" Kate asked.

"No," he shook his head. "I just didn't hear anything. I don't think that the monster came anywhere near us."

"Well I did hear it," she stated. "You don't have to believe me, but I heard it."

"Ok," he nodded. "I believe you. Maybe your hearing is just better than mine."

"Well I am younger," she told him.

"Not by that much," he argued. He paused. "I'm gonna go get some water for the munchkin."

"Ok," she nodded. He handed her the baby and went to the drinking water bin and came back with 3 bottles of water. Kate started trying to feed the water to Julie, but she wasn't swallowing it. After trying a few more times she finally got her to drink some water.

That night was just as sleepless for Kate. Julie slept soundly and so did Sawyer, but Kate was too busy making sure that the baby was ok. She finally fell asleep around 3 in the morning. Although Kate didn't know what time it was she was sure that it was really late when she finally slept. When the sun was coming up the baby woke up and started to cry. Kate moaned loudly and Sawyer started to laugh. He kissed Kate on the temple and told her to go back to sleep and he would take care of Julie.

Over the next couple days Julie started to get better, which made Sawyer happy because he didn't want to have to trek back through the jungle just to punch Juliet. Kate was still overprotective as Juliet put it, but she was getting better. Julie was starting to walk pretty much every where and she was getting really good at it. Kate and Sawyer thought it was because Aaron was having an influence on her.

Kate was standing in the water with Aaron teaching him how to sink. Julie was sitting on the beach burying her legs. Sawyer walked over to her and squatted down next to her.

"Hey," he said. "You don't wanna stand with mommy?"

She didn't answer him, but she turned toward his voice and held her arms up.

"Uppy," she whispered. He picked her up and walked down to where Kate was standing. She was bending down holding on to Aaron's hands as the sand was under their feet.

"Hey," he said. "How are you?"

"We're good," she nodded. "I think Aaron likes sinking better than Julie does."

Sawyer set Julie down, and she immediately started screaming. He thought it was a little ridiculous that she screamed so loudly every time she didn't get her way, but he figured that it was just because she couldn't tell him what she wanted. He picked her back up and she stopped screaming.

"Juju loud," Aaron replied. Aaron had started to call Julie Juju when he first learned her name. Kate thought it was absolutely adorable. Sawyer always called her muchkin so when Aaron started calling her Juju he got a little confused. 

Julie noticed Aaron and reached down to him. She started whining when Sawyer wasn't putting her down.

"Are you gonna cry?" he asked.

"No," she whispered. Sawyer put her down and the two toddlers sat down in the sand. Kate looked down at the two kids and chuckled. Sawyer put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards him.

"You feeling better?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Julie's feeling better, so that makes me feel better."

"I told you there was nothing to worry about," he told her.

"It doesn't matter how many times you tell me not to worry...I'm going to worry every time anything happens to our baby," she replied.

"Yeah, I know."

**3 months later.**

It was almost time for Aaron's second birthday. Julie was a year and a half. Claire really wanted to do something special for Aaron's birthday, so she and Desmond spent a lot of time planning it.

"Sawyer?" Claire asked, approaching him at the airplane seats.

"What can I do you for?" he asked.

"Can I borrow one of your books to give to Aaron?" she asked.

"Borrow, or have?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well," she blushed slightly.

"Go ahead," he nodded. Claire went into his tent and came back out.

"There aren't any kids books," she informed him.

"Yes," he nodded. "I know."

"Well I don't know what I'm going to get for him," she said.

"So you thought you'd give a 2 year old a book?" he asked. "Desmondo and I could build him his very own tent. It could be like a play tent. Bring all his dates there."

"Aye," Desmond came up behind them. "That's a great idea mate, if Aaron were a little older."

"Well my daughter and him have been inseperable for the past year," Sawyer replied. "And let me tell you this...he better not break her heart."

"Sawyer," Kate sighed approaching the group. "Are you still thinking that Aaron and Julie are going to fall in love?"

"Well she only has two choices right now," Sawyer replied. "Steven and Aaron. And right now Steven is still too young to actually be any fun."

"Come on, babies are fun!" Kate exclaimed.

"Do you want another one?" he asked.

"Not now, but maybe someday," she replied.

"Anyway," Claire continued. "Do you have any ideas of what to do for Aaron's second birthday?"

"Not really," Kate shrugged. "For Julie's birthday we didn't do anything but sing to her. And believe me it wasn't exactly a gift."

"Hey I have a great singing voice," Sawyer argued.

"Coulda fooled me," she mumbled. "If you do then you weren't trying very hard to sing for our daughter."

"Ok," Claire interrupted. "Quit whatever you're doing...I feel like you're getting ready to go at it right here on the beach in front of everyone one."

"Gee," Sawyer started. "Great idea."

"Anyway," Claire said. "So you guys have no idea what to give to Aaron?"

They both shook their heads. Desmond grabbed Claire's hand and walked with her back to their tent. Sawyer looked at Kate and smirked.

"So why is it that we argue so much?" he asked.

"Because it's great foreplay," she raised her eyebrows. She leaned over and kissed him.

"Mommy!" Julie was crying. Kate looked at Sawyer somewhat apologetically. She looked up and Hurley was carrying her over to the two adults.

"A wave just knocked her down," Hurley told Kate. "I didn't do it. The wave did."

"Hurley," Kate chuckled. "It's ok. She falls down all the time. She's fine."

Kate took Julie from Hurley's arms and looked at her. She was pouting, but she had stopped crying.

"She's such a drama queen," Kate told Sawyer.

"Just like her mama," Sawyer teased.

"Whatever," she scoffed. "You're more of a drama queen than I am."

"Well it's a good thing that the two most dramatic people here are together then isn't it," he answered.

"And all of our kids will be dramatic too I guess," she chuckled.

"All?" he asked. "How many are you plannin' on?"

"Well like I said, I want a boy. More than anything. A little blonde boy running around here."

"Ok so not only do you want a boy, but you're requesting that he have blonde hair?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said. "Julie has curly brown hair, and green eyes...I kind of wish that her eyes would have stayed blue but can't always get what you want."

"Why? My eyes are green," he told her.

"I know," she nodded. "But sometimes they look blue. You're like a chameleon."

"But I don't hide," he replied. "I don't run and hide from my problems."

"Neither do I," she answered. "Not anymore."

"Are you gonna get all sappy now and tell me that I changed you for the better?" he asked.

"No," she responded. "But you did. You and Julie. I never would have stayed in one place on this damn island if it weren't for you two."

"You still don't," he argued. "You're always exploring the jungle and getting chased by the damn smoke monster. Maybe if you'd just stay on the beach, Smokey would just leave you alone...it hasn't made an appearance on the beach yet."

"Don't speak too soon," she said.

**A/N: Ok so I think I have the kids ages right for the most part. If not feel free to let me know, because I always like the info. and constructive critism. Seirously...even if you're gonna be mean let me know how I'm doin'. Although I would think if you hated it you wouldn't still be reading, but maybe I'm wrong...anyway please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

Sawyer was bored. Extremely bored. He had been reading even more than normal, and his headaches were starting to come back. Julie was sitting on the sand in front of him and she was amusing herself by burying his feet.

"All gone," she said. Sawyer looked down to his feet, and sure enough they were completely covered.

"Uh oh. Where'd they go?" he asked. She started digging them out and he wiggled his toes to help her. She giggled and then jumped up on his lap. He groaned and rearranged her on his lap.

"Where's your mama?" he asked her. Julie pointed down the beach toward where Kate and Claire were sitting in the sand. Desmond walked toward where Sawyer was sitting. He was carrying Aaron and set him down in the sand next to Julie

"So are the ladies back from their walk yet?" Desmond asked.

"I don't think they're doing much walkin'," Sawyer replied. He pointed down the beach and Desmond nodded.

"Aye," he said. "They just need some women time I guess...without the kids."

"Man I wish there was something to do besides sit here with the munchkins."

"I think I might have another bottle of whiskey," Desmond offered.

"Drinkin' early huh?" he asked. "It's only what...before noon at least."

"Well," Desmond shrugged. "We can play a game of ping pong...or poker?"

"Alright," Sawyer nodded. He stood up and started to walk over to the ping pong table. Desmond followed, bringing both kids.

"I think you forgot something," he told him.

"I didn't forget her," Sawyer stated. "I just thought she'd follow us. She's got two legs."

Desmond put both kids in the sand near the ping pong table. They started playing their game and didn't notice that the kids started to walk away. Kate and Claire could see that neither of the men were paying attention to the kids. They chased the kids down the beach and sneakily came back to the camp. Neither Sawyer or Desmond noticed that the kids were both gone.

Kate and Claire were in Kate and Sawyer's tent. Claire decided she would hide in the tent with the kids, while Kate went to the ping pong table. Kate walked down the beach and composed herself before coming up to Sawyer and Desmond.

"Hey guys," she said.

"Hey Freckles, just a sec," Sawyer said as he served the ball over to Desmond's side of the table and scored a point.

"So," she started. "Having fun?"

"Better than doin' nothing," Sawyer answered.

"How long have you been out here?" she asked.

"Not very long Kate," Desmond told her.

"Ah," she nodded. "So um...are you missing something?"

Both men looked toward where they left the kids. Desmond put his hands to his mouth. He started to leave, but Kate stopped him.

"Wait," Kate said. "You don't have to leave Desmond. Where is she Sawyer?"

"I-" he started.

"Where the hell is our daughter!" Kate yelled pushing against him.

"I don't-" he began again.

"You don't know?" she asked. "Well let me tell you something...she's in the tent."

"Wait," he paused. "What?"

"Claire and I saw the kids walking down the beach and away from their 'responsible' fathers that were supposed to be watching them...so we just decided to screw with you for a little bit," she said. "You have to be more careful."

"How could you do that to me?" he asked.

"How could you not be watching the kids?" she questioned.

"I know," he nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," she stated. "It could have happened to anyone."

"Not to you," he replied.

"Yeah, to me too," she said. "Now that the kids are walking around you have to watch them every second. We're all going to have to get used to it."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"It's ok," she chuckled. "Julie and Aaron are both fine. You guys can finish your ping pong game. Claire and I will take care of the kids."

He stepped forward and put his hands on her hips. He kissed her softly. He played with the tendril of curls that was loose from her bun. She backed away from him and smiled. She walked back to the tent. Sawyer sighed and shook his head.

"And she wants another one," he said.

"How do you think I feel mate?" Desmond asked. "Claire trusts me with Aaron, and I just let him walk off? I mean...at least Kate can forgive you easy enough because you're Julie's dad and she loves you."

"Don't worry," Sawyer replied. "I'm pretty sure Missy Claire loves you."

"How do you know?" he asked.

"I can just tell, now let's just get back to the game," Sawyer insisted.

"Aye," Desmond nodded and they went back to playing.

"Hold on a minute," Sawyer started. "Kate just scared the crap out of both of us. I say...let's get even with them."

"What do you have in mind?" Desmond asked. Sawyer smirked widely.

* * *

"You should have seen the look on his face," Kate chuckled.

"Well at least you told them quickly," Claire laughed. "I'd feel bad for scaring Desmond. He's so good with Aaron. Aaron calls him daddy. It's just-it's adorable."

"That is pretty darn cute," Kate replied. "Sawyer-he felt really bad. I almost felt bad for putting him through that. I think if he had done that to me I'd be pretty damn pissed."

"Careful, they might be pissed. Maybe they'll get back at us," she stated.

"They wouldn't dare," Kate said. "If they do it'll turn into an all out war. They won't try to screw with us."

She and Claire talked for another hour or so, when Desmond came into the tent.

"Claire," he began. "I'm so sorry about Aaron."

"It's ok," she answered.

"No," he shook his head. "It's not ok. And Kate, I wanted to let you know that Sawyer is completely beside himself. He keeps muttering about how he's a horrible father."

Kate sighed and looked guiltily at Claire. Kate stood up and took Julie with her. She walked down the beach to where Sawyer was sitting with his head down. Kate sat down next to him and handed Julie to him.

"No," he shook his head.

"Dada," Julie said and patted him on the shoulders. It was hard for him not to smile at her, but he didn't.

"I'm a bad father," he whispered.

"Sawyer," Kate sighed. "No you're not. Everyone makes mistakes."

"What if something had happened to her?" he asked.

"But it didn't," she responded. "Julie is fine. She's absolutely fine."

Kate played with Julie's hair, that was getting thicker and longer by the day. Sawyer stayed quiet for a minute. He was really just trying to figure out what to tell Kate next.

"Anyway," he sighed. "I'll see you later."

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I just-I need to clear my head," he told her.

"Will you be back tonight?" she questioned.

"I dunno," he mumbled. He started walking down the beach. Kate took a deep breath and stood up. She walked back to her tent with Julie, and asked Claire if she could watch her for a little while. Claire was more than happy to do it. Kate left the tent and ran after Sawyer. Lucky for her she didn't have to run for very long before coming upon him. She could see that he was smiling, and realized that he was just getting back at her. When she caught up with him and he noticed her he sighed.

"Just leave me alone Freckles," he sighed. "I don't want to talk about it any more."

"Don't bother coming back tonight," she told him.

"What?" he asked.

"I know that you're just trying to get me back for what I did, and you know what I think it's really dumb and immature," she scoffed. "So you can stay out here tonight. Don't come back tonight."

She turned on her heel and started back to her tent, she hid her grin from him...she was right, it was beginning to turn into a war. She expected Sawyer to follow her. To stop her and apologize but he didn't. It was all in his plan for her to see him smiling, and then get mad for him trying to con her. He wasn't expecting it to go as well as it did. As she walked back to the tent she started getting worried that Sawyer wasn't following her. She ducked into the tent and told Claire what had just happened.

"I shouldn't have-" she started.

"No," Claire said. "He was being a jerk. He'll come back. He loves you way too much to stay away."

"I don't know," Kate shook her head. "I mean telling him not to come back? You know how stubborn he is, and if I tell him not to come back...maybe it was a dumb thing to do."

"Damn right it was a dumb thing to do," Sawyer's voice said coming into the tent. "You should know never to mess with a man who is a master con man."

Kate let out a breath and chuckle. Claire smiled too and left the tent. Sawyer sat down next to Kate and let out a Sigh. Julie crawled onto Sawyer's lap and handed him a book. She loved to have books read to her. Even if they were too old for her. She still loved hearing him read.

"Julie not now," Sawyer said quietly. She moved from Sawyer's lap to Kate's. She bounced on Kate's lap. Kate held her tight enough to get her to stop moving, until she whined to get down.

"I'm sorry," Kate shook her head. "I know that you didn't mean to let Julie walk away."

"I should have been watching her," he answered. "That was stupid of me."

"Yeah," she replied. "But it's like I said...coulda happened to any of us. She never sits still now, and she's always all over the place. We'll just have to work together."

"Ok," he nodded. "You're right. So do you still want another one?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Well maybe we can get started," he whispered. "I want you."

"Huh," she chuckled.

"You heard me," he said moving toward her.

"Sawyer, you always 'want me'," she stated.

"I know," he whispered into her ear.

"Sawyer, our daughter is still sitting right there," she told him. He glanced over at Julie who had fallen asleep at their feet. He kissed Kate and slipped his hand up the back of her shirt.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "We can't do this."

"I know," he nodded. "But we can kiss right?"

"We can kiss," she answered. "But you know that we're not going to stop."

"I can stop if you can," he said quietly.

"Sawyer, goodnight," she stated laying down. She took her pants off and laid them next to her. Sawyer covered her with a blanket and laid behind her. He put his arm around her and teased the waist band of her underwear.

"Sawyer," she said warningly. He quietly hushed her and she didn't protest any further. A few times Sawyer put a gentle hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. Sawyer rolled her body over so she was now facing him.

"No," she whispered, as he pulled her closer.

"I'm just going to hold you," he informed her. She smiled into his chest and held him just as closely as he was holding her.

* * *

The next morning when she woke up Julie was gone from the tent. Sawyer was still sleeping soundly next to her.

"Sawyer!" Kate screamed.

"What?" he mumbled.

"Julie's gone!" she yelled.

"Nice try," he groaned and put the pillow over his head.

"No!" she shoved him over. "I'm serious. She's not here."

Kate stood up and left the tent to go look for her. She spotted her heading toward the water.

"Julie no!" Kate ran as fast as she could to catch her before she got to the water. She made it just in time and scooped her up.

"Wawa," Julie told Kate.

"No," Kate shook her head. "Honey that's too dangerous. You never never go to the water without mommy or daddy ok?"

"No," Julie answered. "Wawa."

"I know you want to go into the water, but we're not going into the water right now. First, mommy is going to catch her breath from the heart attack you almost gave her," Kate replied. "You're not allowed to leave the tent without mommy and daddy."

Sawyer came out of the tent and walked toward where Kate was standing with Julie in her arms.

"What happened?" he asked.

"She wanted to go in the damn water," Kate breathed. "She was almost in the water when I got to her."

"You ok?" he asked.

"As soon as my heart stops pounding I'll be fine," she replied.

"Here hand her to me," he said.

"No," Kate shook her head and danced back and forth on her feet. She held Julie on her lap the rest of the day. She kept insisting that it was her fault. Sawyer kept telling her that she was crazy, and that there was nothing she could have done.

"Kate you were sleeping," he stated. "So was I. Neither of us heard her leave the tent."

"We should put some sort of lock on the tent flap," she replied. "Something that she won't be able to figure out."

"Ok," he nodded. "I agree."

"Mommy?" Julie asked.

"Yeah," she looked down at the little girl.

"Wawa," she said. Kate chuckled and walked with Julie down to the water. She set Julie down in the surf to sink.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Wawa."

Kate realized she wanted to go deeper in the water. She rolled her pants up and walked deeper into the water still holding on to Julie's hands.

"I got an idea Freckles," Sawyer stated. "We could make her terrified of the water."

"What?" Kate asked, somewhat shocked. "No way. We live next to the water Sawyer. I want her to love the water. I used to be scared of the water. I fell into a lake when I was a kid. Wayne was too drunk to notice and my mom was taking a nap. I almost drowned. One of the older kids who saw it happened jumped into the lake with all his clothes on to save me."

"So how did you over come your fear?" he asked.

"When I was 14 one of my friends was having a party at the same lake actually," she chuckled. "Tom made me go and he told me that he wouldn't let me drown. And he didn't. He taught me to not be afraid anymore. So anyway, no...I don't think it's a very good idea to make Julie scared of the water."

"Ok," he nodded. "You win."

"I always do," she smirked.

**A/N: Please review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: OK so this chapter jumps ahead a lot. Sorry. I just have this idea for the next few chapters but I have to jump ahead.**

Sun was sitting in the sand playing with Steven. She had been staying alone with the baby lately, in the tent. She and Jin had moved their tent down the beach so it was away from everyone. They wanted to have time alone and everyone respected that. They knew that when they were ready, they would join the rest of the camp again. Claire and Kate walked over to where Sun was sitting and sat down.

"Hey," Claire said.

"Hi," she replied.

"Do you mind if we sit with you?" Kate asked.

"No, not at all," she answered. "I mean of course I don't mind."

"How are you doing?" Claire questioned

"Good. Really good," she smiled. "He's already getting so big."

"Yeah," Claire nodded. "He is. Time goes so fast. Pretty soon he's gonna be a year old."

The morning was spent playing in the sand with the kids. The men spent the morning playing poker. The women could hear them each time a hand was won or lost.

"Son of a bitch!" Sawyer yelled. Kate smiled and shook her head.

"Um, Kate," Claire started.

"Yeah," she said.

"Do you mind talking to Sawyer about his language?" Claire asked. "I mean I know that, that's who he is or whatever, but Aaron said 'dammit' the other day and I just-can you talk to him?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Of course I will. He really does need to watch it around the little ones. I'm sorry Claire."

"It's ok," Claire replied. "It's who he is. It's who he's always been. And you obviously love him so-"

"Yes I do," she answered. "But that will make it that much easier to tell him to watch it."

She stood up and started up to where Sawyer was sitting with Jin and Desmond.

"You don't have to go right now," Claire yelled after her.

"Well," Kate shrugged. "It's no big deal."

She grabbed Sawyer by the arm and turned him toward her.

"Can we talk?" she cleared her throat. He stood up and nodded. He looked concerned as he followed her into their tent. They sat down and Sawyer prompted Kate to tell him what was going on.

"Can you try your very best not to swear in front of the kids?" she asked. He sighed in relief and then smiled.

"That's what this is all about?" he questioned.

"Yeah," she answered. "Claire said that Aaron said dammit the other day. So she asked me to ask you to watch your language."

"What about around Julie?" he asked.

"No," she scoffed. "I don't want Julie talking like you. Besides if she starts talking like you so will Aaron and Steven."

"Ok," he nodded. "I'll try. But just so you know it won't happen in a day."

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I know."

"So am I free to go?" he asked.

"Nope," she whispered. "You have to stay in here."

"Why?" he questioned quietly.

"You know exactly why," she told him.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," she smiled.

"So are you thinking that you want to have a son now?" he asked.

"Do you?" she questioned. "I mean. I don't want to do it if you don't."

"If it means that much to you then yeah," he answered. "I would."

"And what if we have another girl?" she asked. "Would you want to try for a boy again?"

"I don't know," he shook his head. "It will all depend. I can't tell you yes right now though. And you should know that."

"Ok," she nodded. "That's good enough for now."

Later that night Kate was sitting the tent with Julie in the tent. Sawyer was getting water for all of them.

"Dammit!" Sawyer yelled outside of the tent. Kate pulled the flap back and saw that Sawyer had dropped the water bottles, one of which broke when it fell on the ground.

"I thought you were going to work on your language," Kate chuckled.

"Sorry," he mumbled. Julie laughed up at Sawyer. He smiled back and sat down. Julie stood up and walked over to where Sawyer was sitting. On her way there she tripped over a pair of jeans that was laying on the floor of the tent. She fell down and then mumbled something. It sounded like she mumbled 'son of a bitch', but Kate couldn't be sure.

"What did you just say Julie?" Kate asked.

"Son of a bitch," Julie replied with a laugh. Kate tried not to laugh. She glared at Sawyer who was laughing so hard that Kate didn't think he was going to take a breath.

"It's not that funny," Kate sighed. "I really don't want our daughter to be talking like that."

"Come on Freckles," he said. "You know that it's cute and hilarious."

"It's not hilarious," she smiled. "Ok. Maybe it's a little funny."

* * *

Over the next 2 months Kate and Sawyer tried to get pregnant. Nothing was happening. Kate was getting somewhat frustrated since they didn't even have to try with Julie.

They were laying in bed next to each other. Kate had just realized that she wasn't prgenant. She had never even needed to use the pregnancy test that Sawyer still had. She sighed deeply and turned her back on Sawyer.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "It will happen. I promise."

"How do you know?" she said quietly. "What if having Julie-what if I can't have any more kids?"

"Juliet would have said something," he told her. "Juliet would have known and she wouldn't have been worried that you could have been pregnant."

"What if she missed something?" Kate asked. "What if I can't ever have kids?"

"Well I know that you want a boy, but if you can't have any more kids, then that's ok too," he told her. "We have the best daughter ever, and some people can't even have that."

"You're right," she nodded. "But I still want it."

"I know," he said. "I know that you want this. We'll-if it doesn't happen soon we'll go talk to Juliet ok."

"Ok," she whispered. She leaned against him and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"Don't cry," he stated. "Freckles it's only been 2 months."

"Yeah," she nodded. "And last time we didn't even have to try. I mean-"

"Kate," he interrupted. "We had been having sex for almost a year."

"Yeah, but I got pregnant on the island if you don't remember," she replied.

"I know," he told her. "I remember. And I'm sorry that you're so upset about it ok? I just...it's going to be ok. We'll-"

"Ok," she said. "You're right. I'm sorry."

Sawyer kissed her on the top of the head and hugged her tightly.

* * *

It had been a year. Every day lately Kate and Sawyer were beginning to drift further and further apart. They fought almost every day. Kate was starting to make Sawyer mad. All she thought about was the kid that they didn't have. She couldn't understand why nothing was happening. They had been trying for over a year now. Aaron and Julie were both 4 going on 5. In fact Aaron would be 5 in less than a month. Kate cried herself to sleep almost every night, but she cried softly enough for Sawyer not to notice. It reminded her of the year she found out Wayne was her father. She cried herself to sleep every night that year too. Most of the time she thought that Sawyer was fighting with her on purpose.

"I'm not just some guy that you can screw anytime you want!" he screamed at her. "I'm just-I'm tired of it Kate. I'm sorry that you're not pregnant yet but just get over it. I'm not having sex with you for a few weeks. I want us to be back to normal."

"No!" Kate yelled. "I'm not going to get over it. I want another baby is that ok with you?"

"Fine," Sawyer sighed. "I'll see you later. Do you mind watching Julie...you know the kid that actually exsists?"

Julie was 4 and a half. She was screaming and crying from hearing Sawyer and Kate yell at each other. Kate bent down and picked her up.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Daddy is mad," Julie told her.

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I'm sorry if daddy and I scared you."

"Can we go swimming?" Julie asked.

"Yes," Kate replied. "I'm sorry that we were yelling."

"I don't like you yelling," Julie stated.

"No," Kate shook her head. "I don't either. I promise we won't yell any more ok?" She walked out of the tent and bumped into Claire and Aaron on the way there. Aaron absolutely loved the water and was almost always playing in the ocean. Desmond had taught him, Steven and Julie how to swim. Everyone thought it would be a good idea if they learned how to swim as young as possible. They were both pretty good for their ages, but Claire and Kate still freaked out if one of them stayed under the water for too long. Claire was standing in the water watching Aaron. Aaron saw Kate and Julie coming toward the water. He ran out of the water and up to Kate.

"Kate?" Aaron asked.

"Yes," she bent down.

"Can Julie come in the water with me and Steven?"

"Yeah," she answered. She put Julie down and the two kids walked into the water, where Steven was waiting for them. Claire walked over to Kate. Jin was in the water with the kids. Steven had swallowed a large amount of water and was coughing loudly. Jin was speaking to him in Korean.

"Daddy english around Julie and Aaron," Steven replied through his coughs.

"Sorry," Jin said. "You're right. I was just telling him to keep coughing."

Kate thought that Jin's english was almost perfect. He almost had better english than Sawyer, which wasn't saying much, but she still thought it was funny. Sawyer had tried to teach Jin how to be sarcastic, but it didn't stick.

"You ok?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," Kate sighed. "I guess you heard me and Sawyer fighting."

"I'm sorry," Claire shook her head. "I know it's been hard for you. I know how much you want to have another baby."

What Kate didn't know is that Claire figured out that she was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. She didn't want to say anything to her friend because she and Desmond hadn't even been trying. It just happened. She knew that eventually she'd have to tell her, but she was going to wait as long as she could. Her mind was wondering as Kate spoke. She really hoped that she would have a girl this time, and she thought that Desmond secretly hoped it was a girl too.

"Well it's really not going to happen for a while, because Sawyer told me he was sick of having sex-"

"Woah wait say that again," Claire interrupted. "Sawyer? He said he was sick of it?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "He doesn't want to just have sex with me to get me pregnant, and he said he wasn't going to."

"So he's going on strike?" Claire asked.

"I guess," Kate sighed. "I just-I guess it's better if we stop trying. Maybe if we stop trying it'll be easier."

* * *

"You told her that you were going to stop having sex with her?" Hurley asked.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded.

"Why the hell would you do that?" Desmond asked.

"I'm sick of being used," he replied. "The only reason why she wants to do anything is so that she can get pregnant. So I told her that we were going to stop for a little while."

"Dude, you're never gonna last," Hurley chuckled.

"I'll be just fine," he responded.

"I dunno dude," Hurley continued.

"Shut up," he mumbled.

* * *

That night Sawyer was laying next to Kate. She was staring at the ceiling of the tent. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He rolled over to his side so he wouldn't have to see the sad look on Kate's face. She let out a breath of air and rolled toward him and put her arms around him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight with you either Freckles," he said, still laying with his back to her. She kissed the back of his neck. "I don't want to fight Kate, but I'm not giving in to you either."

"This has nothing to do with having a baby," she stated. She kissed the back of his neck again. She was kissing him on the spot on his neck that she knew would get him to give in. He pushed her off of him.

"Don't," he said.

"Come on," she whispered. "Julie is sleeping in Claire's tent tonight."

"I thought I already told you earlier today that nothing was going to happen tonight," he replied.

"Well, let's just say I had wishful thinking," she answered. He still didn't give in. She continued to tease, and finally he did flip over to face her. He kissed her lips.

"You're not playing fair Freckles," he said quietly.

"And I'm also not in the mood anymore," she stated. This time she flipped over and ignored his further passes.

"Come on Kate," he stated. "I can't do this any more."

"Do what?" she asked. "Us?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "That's not what I mean and you know it. I can't-if we're like this now, what the hell is it going to be like when we have another kid?"

"So you don't want another kid?" she questioned.

"Kate, stop it," he sighed. "Of course I do. I just-these past couple months we've been fighting constantly, and we've been just-we used to be so in sync and now...we're just not."

"Fine," she scoffed. "Maybe I'll just leave. I can build myself my own tent tomorrow."

"Freckles, I don't want you to leave the tent," he whispered. "I'm-I just-I just have to-I'm going for a walk."

"It's past midnight," she scoffed.

"I don't care. This is ridiculous," he sighed. "I'll be back later."

"Well I won't be," she muttered.

"Kate stop being dramatic," he replied.

"Screw you," she shook her head. He left the tent quickly and walked down the beach. Kate peeked her head out of the tent and could see him kicking the sand angerly as he walked. She stood up and went to Claire's tent. Claire was surprisingly still awake.

"Kate," Claire sighed. "You're not sleeping here tonight. You and Sawyer are going to make up. And you're not moving out of his tent."

"You could hear?" Kate asked.

"You have to remember that my tent isn't that far from yours," Claire replied. "Now go back to your own tent...actually do one better. Go follow him."

"Why should I?" Kate practically whined. She crossed her arms over her chest, and stomped her foot slightly.

"Because you're a mature adult...or so I thought you were."

"Yeah," Kate groaned. "You're right."

"Mommy!" Julie had woken up and when she saw Kate she was excited.

"Shh," Kate whispered. "Don't wake up Aaron."

"Mom!" Julie whispered loudly. "Can I come home?"

Kate frowned and felt bad for leaving Julie at Claire's most nights in the week. Kate bent down and picked her up. She was getting big, pretty soon she'd be too big for Kate to carry. She carried her back to the tent. When she looked down the beach she saw Sawyer sitting in the sand. She put Julie down in her bed and kissed her on the forehead.

"Goodnight munchkin," she whispered.

"Night mommy," Julie whispered back as she fell asleep almost instantly. She stood up and looked towards Claire's tent. Claire silently told her that she would watch the tent to make sure nothing happened to Julie. Kate walked down towards where Sawyer was sitting.

"Kate," he sighed.

"I'm not here to get you to come back to the tent," she replied. "And I'm not here to fight with you. I'm just gonna sit with you."

She sat down next to him silently. Sawyer reached his hand over and took Kate's hand in his.

"I don't want you to move out of the tent," he whispered.

"I know," she answered. "I'm not going to, I just-I'm just-I don't know."

"You're frustrated," he stated. "I know. So am I. But I think it was you who said we have to live togther right?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But you always have said every man for himself."

"I can't do anything without you," he told her. She sniffled and reached over to hug him. She held him closely and kissed him. She lifted herself onto his lap and they kissed deeper. Sawyer ripped Kate's shirt trying to get it over her head. Kate looked down the beach, worried that someone might be watching them.

"It's ok," he whispered. "It's past midnight Kate, everyone's sleeping."

She nodded, and they made love on the beach. For the first time, in a long time, neither of them were feeling the burden of trying to get pregnant. They were just loving each other.

Afterwards they were walking back down to their own tent. Claire looked at them as they went into their tent. Kate smiled at her and waved at her goodnight. As they laid down in the tent Sawyer put his arms around her and pulled her close. Kate flipped herself over to face him and kissed him again.

"I'm pregnant," she whispered.

"What?" he chuckled.

"I just know," she answered.

"Kate," he started. "don't. Don't tell yourself that you're pregnant, because I don't want you to have to go through the devestation if you're not."

"I am," she said. "I am."

**A/N: PLEASE R&R!**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Yeah so at the end of the previous chapter when Kate told Sawyer she was ****pregnant, it was definitely just a feeling. She obviously wouldn't know that, ****that quickly, but yeah. This chapter is also going to jump ahead a few months. ****It will all make sense soon enough. Anyway...have fun reading this chapter.**

The next morning Kate woke up to Julie tapping her on the shoulder. She openedone eye and looked at the little girl.

"Mommy swimming lessons," Julie replied.

"Ok," Kate groaned. "I'm coming."

She closed her eyes again and moved closer to Sawyer. Sawyer was still sleeping,but she felt his arm get tighter around her. Julie began to hit Kate softly onthe arm and say mama over and over again. After the tenth time Sawyer opened hiseyes and moaned.

"Kate, answer her, please," he mumbled into her neck.

"What is it baby?" Kate asked.

"Swimming lessons!" Julie said again.

"I know," she nodded. "You can go down there by yourself. Jin and Desmond arethere right?"

"I can't leave the tent without you and daddy," she told her.

"Yeah," Kate replied. "I guess you're right. I'm coming."

She closed her eyes again. She didn't want to leave the warmth of the bed, andthe comfort of Sawyer's arms. She forced herself to sit and put her pants on.She unlatched the mechanism that Sawyer created when Julie still tended toescaped the tent late at night, or early in the morning. Julie took Kate by thehand and dragged her down to where Jin was standing waiting for his 'students'. Claire yawned as she walked with Desmond and Aaron down to the water.

"I'm gonna take a quick swim to wake me up," Claire told Desmond.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she quietly answered. "I'll be fine Des. Don't you dare tell Kate anything."

"Wasn't planning on it love," he replied. She kissed him softly and walked intothe water. Desmond sat down in the sand near Kate. Kate watched Julie run down into the water with Jin. Kate sat down with Desmond and sighed.

"How are you doing Kate?" Desmond asked.

"I'm good," Kate smiled. "I'm really good."

She put her hands on her stomach. Everything in her told her that she waspregnant. She had to be. She felt like if it didn't happen now, it wouldn't happen ever. Sawyer came out of the tent and was watching Kate and Desmond talking. He was hoping that she wasn't telling Desmond that she was pregnant. He didn't want her telling the entire beach, until they knew for sure. He quickly, but calmly walked up to her.

"Hey," he whispered sitting behind her and pulling her between his legs.

"Morning," she said. He couldn't tell if she had said anything. Maybe she even forgot all about what she said last night. He knew that was just wishful thinking on his part. He kissed her cheek softly and she put his hands on her belly.

"I know Sawyer," she whispered. "I know."

"Ok," he replied. "But why don't we wait till we are positive before we say anything?"

"Ok," she nodded.

She and Sawyer sat on the beach while Jin taught the kids how to float on their backs in the ocean. Desmond splashed into the water when Aaron waved him over. Kate looked around the beach, watching people do odd jobs around the camp.

"Are you ok Freckles?" Sawyer asked.

"Do you believe me?" she inquired.

"What are you talking about?" he sighed.

"Do you believe me when I tell you that I'm pregnant?" she explained further.

"Darlin'," he started. "If you truly thing that you're pregnant, then I believe you. I believe you think you are. But it's been less than 24 hours-"

"I don't care," she shook her head. "Sawyer. If I'm not pregnant then I don't know anything. And I never have."

"Ok," he nodded. "Alright darlin'. I believe you. And in a month or so...maybe more...maybe less...I still have the pregnancy test. And you're going to take it and we'll know for sure."

She was still sitting between Sawyer's legs. She turned her body to face him and kissed him softly.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too sweetness," he replied.

* * *

It had been a month. Kate still insisted every day that she was pregnant. She would tell him every night. She said she was having the same cravings as she had the first time she was pregnant. Sawyer was beginning to get excited, but at the same time he was dreading that it might not be real. 

He handed Kate the pregnancy test. She smiled at him and told him she would be right back. He sighed and closed his eyes. He prayed that Kate was right. She had to be. Kate ducked back into the tent and took Sawyer's hands in her own. She put the pregnancy test between them face up and they waited.

"How long has it been?" Kate asked.

"I dunno," he shook his head. They looked down at the test and only saw one pink line. Negative. Kate stood up quickly and ran down the beach. Sawyer stood up and followed her. He chased her half way down the beach before she stopped and bent down, sobbing. He put his arms around her and shushed into her ear.

"It's ok," he whispered.

"Sawyer," she sobbed. "I was so sure. And I knew-I knew if this was negative, that I would never get pregnant."

"Kate," he said. "Do you think maybe that's telling us something?"

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked.

"Maybe we can only handle one child. I just-I don't want to lose you. And I don't want you to freak out on me."

"Well can you at least give me today to grieve the fact that we're never going to have another baby?" she questioned.

"I can give you today," he nodded. "But I'm still not giving up."

She wrapped her arms around him and he picked her up. He carried her back to the tent and laid down with her.

"Daddy?" Julie asked coming into the tent.

"What is it?" he said.

"Mommy ok?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Mommy's ok. She's just a little sad."

"I love you mommy," Julie crawled over to lay next to Sawyer and Kate. She wedged her way in between them and hugged Kate. Kate hugged her back and looked up at Sawyer with a small smile.

"I love you too muchkin," she whispered.

Later that night after they had put Julie to bed Sawyer and Kate went for a walk on the beach. They walked down the beach with the water washing up on to their feet. They walked back up to the tent, and stayed completely silent. He laid her down and she rolled over.

"What's this?" she reached under her and pulled out the pregnancy test. She threw it across the tent. Sawyer caught it before it hit him.

"Sorry," she mumbled. He took a second look at it. This time their were two pink lines.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"What?" she snapped.

"Freckles," he said again. "Look."

He knelt next to her and handed her the test. She looked at the test and then back up at Sawyer. She looked down at the test again.

"I don't understand," she said.

"You're pregnant," he replied. "You're pregnant Kate."

"But," she shook her head. "No."

"We must not have waited long enough. Sweetie, you're pregnant."

She jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly. He kissed her neck and then moved to her lips.

"Everything is going to be ok," he whispered. She snuggled against him and breathed in deep.

"You know?" she started. "I actually believe that. Everything is going to be ok."

The next day Kate was sitting on the beach with Claire and Sun. The kids were all playing in the sand, building a sand castle.

"I have a confession," Claire said. "I'm pregnant too."

"What?" Kate asked. "When did you find out?"

"About 2 months ago," Claire answered. "I didn't want to say anything because I knew how much you wanted a baby. I didn't want to tell you till I absolutely had to.

"Why?" Kate asked. "It's great that you're pregnant. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks Kate," Claire nodded. "I just didn't want to upset you."

"Well now it doesn't matter," Kate smiled. "We get to be pregnant together. What about you, Sun?"

"Oh, no, I'm not pregnant," she shook her head.

"That isn't what I meant," Kate chuckled. "I mean...do you and Jin want any more kids?"

"Maybe," she said. "We haven't been trying, like you and Sawyer were. But yeah...I think I would like another child someday."

"Well you and Jin are both really good parents. Any kid would be lucky to have you."

"Thank you Kate," Sun smiled warmly at Kate and then looked towards where the kids were playing in the sand.

Sawyer came up to Kate and put his arms around her. He kissed her cheeks. He pulled her up so she was standing and stared at her.

"What?" she chuckled.

"I think we should go tell Juliet," he told her.

"And ruin the moment?" she asked. "I'm finally happy, and you want to go tell Juliet that I'm pregnant?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I just think it's probably a good idea."

"Ok," she grumbled. She really didn't want to, but she knew that Sawyer was right. They walked back to their tent to pack up some stuff and head out. Kate walked back to where Claire was sitting.

"You know that you don't even have to ask Kate," Claire chuckled, knowing that Kate was going to ask her to watch Julie.

"Thanks," Kate smiled. "Should I tell Juliet that you're pregnant too?"

"Well I guess she'll probably figure it out anyway. And I hopefully will be giving birth before you do," she smiled. "Sure. Thanks."

Sawyer and Kate made their way into the jungle. They walked slower than usual. Kate was anxious walking through the jungle. She was still convinced that the smoke monster was going to kill her. When they got to the village they walked up to Juliet's house and knocked on the door. They waited for a few minutes, there was no answer. Kate knocked again, this time pounding slightly. She didn't stop knocking until she could hear Juliet's voice on the other end of the door.

"I'm coming!" she yelled. "Jeez." She opened the door. "Kate, James."

"It's Sawyer," he told her.

"What can I help you with?" she asked.

"I'm pregnant and so is Claire, ok she knows lets go," Kate said all in one breath. She started down the steps. Sawyer grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

"It's ok Freckles," he whispered.

"I just want to go back home," she said. "I didn't even want to come to begin with."

"Ok," Julie held up her hand to get them to stop talking. "Stop. You're pregnant?"

"Yes," Kate nodded.

"And so is Claire?" she asked. Kate nodded again.

"Ok," Juliet stated. "So you want my help?"

"We just wanted to let you know," Kate sighed. "We do want your help. We want to make sure that nothing happens to me or Claire."

"Ok," she repeated. "I'll come give you guys check ups once a month, and then when you hit your 5th month I'll be coming once a week."

"Ok," Kate whispered.

"Do you want me to give you a check up now?" Juliet asked. "I think it would be for the best actually."

"Yeah," she nodded. "Ok. Sawyer can you go get Claire and bring her to the medical hatch?"

"Yeah," he answered. "I'll meet you guys there."

About an hour later Kate, Claire, Desmond, Sawyer, and Juliet were all in the hatch. Kate and Sawyer left the room as Juliet examined Claire. They each were examined by Juliet. Both Claire and Kate were healthy and so were their babies. Claire was almost exactly 2 months pregnant. While Kate was about a month and a week.

* * *

3 Months Later. Claire was about 5 months pregnant. Her baby bump was bigger than Kate's. They were both waiting for Juliet to come and take them to the hatch. Claire was moving around uncomfortably.

"You ok?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," she said. "She's pissed off about something. She won't stop moving around."

"What have you been eating lately?" Kate asked.

"You know the usual peanut butter and ice cream," she chuckled. "I've been eating what everyone else has."

Kate smiled and nodded. When Juliet got to their camp they all went into the jungle, with their men following close behind. Sawyer grabbed onto Kate's hand and squeezed it as they walked through the jungle. He could feel that her hand was shaking. She was terrified walking through the jungle. He stopped walking, which forced Kate to stop too.

"What are you doing?" Kate asked.

"I'm stopping you," Sawyer sighed. "Honey, I know that you're scared. I just think that you should stop. You need to stay calm. Stay calm for the baby."

"What do you mean?" she scoffed.

"Ok," he started again. "I know that you're scared of the smoke monster. But I also know that you don't want to do anything to hurt the baby, and if you don't stay calm..."

"Ok," she nodded. "I know, you're right. Whatever. I'll try harder to calm down ok?"

"That's all I ask," he kissed her softly and they walked the rest of the way to the hatch.

Juliet continued to tell Kate and Claire that they were both healthy. Each month going to the hatch was a pain in the ass, but both Claire and Kate knew it was for the best.

They were on their way back to the camp. Kate and Claire both heard the smoke monster before Desmond or Sawyer did.

"It's coming," Kate whispered. She stopped walking and looked at Sawyer.

"I didn't hear an-" he began. They all heard the smoke monster this time, and they started running. Sawyer held on to Kate's hand tightly. Both of their hands were sweating so it wasn't the easiest thing, but he couldn't let go, so he didn't. Claire and Desmond were falling behind, but neither of them noticed. When they got back to the beach Kate could hear Claire screaming. Kate and Sawyer looked at each other and both of them headed back into the jungle. They went towards Claire's screams and when they found her she was sitting near the edge of a cliff.

"Claire no!" Kate yelled. "What are you doing?"

"He fell," she sobbed. "Desmond and I were running and I guess we took a wrong turn and he fell. I can't look Kate."

"I don't think you should," Kate whispered. She put her arms around her and pulled her to a standing position. Sawyer went to the edge of the cliff and looked down. He shook his head sadly and walked back over to the women.

"I have to see," Claire said. Both Kate and Sawyer pulled her away from the edge and began to walk back to the beach with her. Kate put her into her tent and laid down next to her. She sighed deeply. She didn't know what to say or do.

"Kate," Claire whispered.

"Yeah," she cleared her throat and nodded.

"Can you just leave me alone?" she asked. "I'm not trying to be rude. I just really want to be alone."

"Of course," Kate nodded. "Aaron can stay with us tonight."

"No," Claire shook her head. "I want him to stay with me tonight."

"Ok," she said. "I'm so sorry. Um-I think that Sawyer went to-we're gonna have the funeral tomorrow."

"Nothing matters any more," Claire replied.

"Yes it does," Kate stated. "Honey, your baby needs you. And so does Aaron. They matter more than anything ok?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "You're right..." She paused for a minute. "Sarah."

"Sarah?" Kate asked.

"We've been discussing names. We were thinking about the name Sarah," Claire told Kate.

"I think that's a pretty name," Kate nodded.

Sawyer and Jin went to the bottom of the crevase where Desmond landed. They brought his body back to the beach and buried him quickly. They told the rest of the beach that they would be doing a memorial service the next day. When Sawyer went back to the tent he expected to find both girls sleeping. Kate slept all the time. She was tired half the day and usually fell asleep right after dinner. He ducked into the tent and found Kate was wide awake. Julie was sleeping soundly.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she sobbed.

"Hey, hey," he soothed. He knelt next to her and pulled her into a hug. "It's ok. Let it out."

"It's my fault," she sniffled. "It's all my fault James. If I hadn't been in the damn jungle in the first place the monster never would have come. And we never would have been running."

"Honey it's not your fault," he whispered. "It's not your fault at all. It's ok."

"No," she shook her head. "The monster is after me, and I know that. It should have been me."

"No," he stated. "Don't even think that. I can't lose you or our baby. It should not have been you."

"I-I'm just so scared," she breathed. He let out a deep breath and hugged her tightly.

"It's ok," he whispered.

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW REVIEW!**


	27. Chapter 27

The next morning Sawyer heard Aaron yelling for Claire. Kate was still sleeping, and he decided not to wake her up. He left the tent and looked up to Claire's tent.

"Momma!" Aaron sobbed. Sawyer walked over to the tent and ducked inside.

"Hey Aaron," Sawyer sighed. "How's your mom doing?"

"She won't wake up," Aaron answered.

"Claire!" Sawyer knelt next to the bed and shook her. He was worried that she could be really hurt, or worse.

"What?" she mumbled. "I'm awake Aaron. I'm just tired."

Sawyer let out a breath of relief. He looked down at Claire. Her eyes were puffy. Sawyer was pretty sure that she hadn't slept all night. He pulled Claire's blanket up over her shoulders.

"Claire," he whispered. "I'm gonna take Aaron into our tent ok?"

"Ok," she murmured. "Thanks Sawyer."

He took Aaron by the hand and led him out of the tent. Aaron looked up at Sawyer and frowned.

"When's my dad coming back?" he asked. Sawyer sighed and shook his head. He didn't answer the 5 year old. Aaron knew something else was wrong, but his mom kept insisting that Desmond would be back soon.

"He's not coming back is he?" Aaron continued.

"No," Sawyer whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Did he die?" Aaron asked. Sawyer didn't answer him. He let out another deep breath. He waited for Kate to wake up. He could hear Julie whining.

"Mommy I wanna leave," she said.

"Hmm," Kate mumbled.

"Mommy! I wanna leave," Julie repeated.

"Sawyer go outside with Julie will ya?" she replied, thinking that Sawyer was still in the tent. He stood up and patted Aaron on the back.

"Wait here," he said quietly. He went to the tent flap and undid the lock. When he pulled the flap back Julie jumped into his arms.

"Daddy!" Julie exclaimed.

"Hey," he whispered. "Aaron is very sad today ok? So I want you to be extra nice to him ok?"

"Ok daddy," she replied.

"Now I'm gonna go talk to mommy," he told her. "I want you and Aaron to stay right by the tent ok?"

"Ok," she nodded. "Daddy will you teach me and Aaron more reading today?"

"Yeah," he said. "I'll be right out."

"Ok daddy," she said again. Julie walked over to where Aaron was sitting. Sawyer watched as she hugged him and sat down next to him. He smiled to himself sadly and then ducked into the tent.

"Hey," he whispered. "Are you alright?"

"No," she shook her head. "What the hell is Claire going to do?"

"She's gonna take care of herself and her two babies," he told her.

"What if it had been you?" she asked standing up and putting her arms around him.

"But it wasn't," he replied. "It wasn't me. It was Desmond. And even though it's really sad, I'm glad it wasn't you or me."

"We have to take care of her now," she stated. "I'm gonna go see if she needs anything."

"She's sleeping," Sawyer told her. "I don't really think she wants to be bothered."

"Well I've got to try," she replied. "Maybe she needs a woman to talk to."

"Yeah," he said. "Maybe."

He kissed her on the cheek and she left the tent. He watched her walk up to Claire's tent and duck her head in. He went over to where the kids were sitting.

"Story time!" Julie exclaimed.

"Ok," he stated. Julie handed him a book and Sawyer sat between the two kids. He opened the book and handed it back to Julie. He told her to read the first page. She sounded out all the words and when she came to a word that she could say, but didn't know the meaning she would ask Sawyer what it meant. Learning to read was more fun to her than learning to swim. Aaron always liked swimming better than reading.

Kate cautiously went into Claire's tent. She knelt down next to Claire's bed and put her hand on her back.

"Hey," she whispered. "How are you doing honey?"

"Can I have some alone time please?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," Kate said. "Of course you can. I just-if you need anything. Let us know. Let any of us know."

"Thanks Kate," she stated. "Is Sawyer still having the memorial today?"

"It's all up to you hon," Kate answered. "If you want to have it today then we will."

"I think that would be for the best," Claire nodded.

"Did you tell Aaron yet?" she questioned.

"Not really," Claire shook her head. "I think he figured it out though. I mean I've been crying since yesterday. He knows something's wrong."

"Claire," Kate began. "It's gonna be ok."

"I'm having a baby in 4 months," she half sobbed. "This is not going to be ok Kate. My baby isn't going to know her daddy."

"No," she whispered. "Mabye not...but we will talk about him every day. She will know. We'll tell her all about him ok?"

"Yeah," Claire nodded. "Ok."

"It's going to be ok," Kate stated.

"No it won't," Claire shook her head. "You don't know that it's going to be ok Kate. You still have Sawyer."

"I know," Kate nodded. "I'm really greatful that I have Sawyer, but I can share him with you."

Claire forced a smile and her cheeks turned pink.

"Ok," Kate chuckled. "That isn't what I meant. I mean...Sawyer is a good man. He's a good father. And I'm not saying that he can be a father to your kids if you don't want him to be...I'm just saying that he'll help you through this too."

"Thanks," she nodded. "And I think we should definitely have the memorial at sunset. It was his favorite time of day."

"Ok," Kate whispered. "I'll see you later Claire."

Kate walked back to her tent and to where Sawyer was sitting with the kids. Julie was sounding out words. She came to a word that she told Sawyer was too big for her.

"There are no big words," Sawyer replied. "You can sound out anything remember?"

"Ok," she said. "Bell-iv-belived."

"I know!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Ok go for it," Sawyer urged.

"Believed?" he asked.

"Very good," Sawyer replied.

"Kate!" Aaron exclaimed. "Me and Julie read a whole chapter already!"

"Good job," Kate said.

"I'm gonna go tell mommy," he told the group.

"Ok sweetie," Kate nodded. She watched as he ran up to the tent.

"That was very nice of you Julie," Sawyer stated.

"You said to be extra nice," she answered. Kate looked down at the father and daughter very confused.

"She knows the word 'believe'...she was just pretending not to know it so that Aaron could read the word and feel special," Sawyer explained. Kate shook her head in amazement. She bent down and hugged the little girl.

"Mommy when will I have a brother or sister?" she asked.

"Not for another 5 months hopefully," Kate answered. She put her hands on her stomach. Julie reached up and touched her stomach too.

"What was that?" Julie asked. "It felt like your tummy tried to tickle my hand."

"The baby is kicking," Kate replied.

"Does it hurt you?" she questioned.

"Not at all," Kate shook her head. "It feels really cool actually...well actually sometimes it hurts...no point on lying...but most of the time it just feels cool."

Sawyer pulled Kate down to the airplane seats, so she was kneeling on them. He kissed her softly and ran his hands through her hair.

"No daddy," Julie pushed between the couple and sat down on Sawyer's lap. Kate got off of her knees and sat down where Aaron was sitting. Aaron came back to where the family was sitting. Sawyer had his hand resting on Kate's belly.

"Oh," Aaron said. "I guess I'll leave."

"Don't you dare!" Kate exclaimed. She grabbed the little boy into a hug and sat him on her lap.

"Doesn't that hurt the baby?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she stated. "The baby is just fine."

Kate, Julie and Sawyer entertained Aaron for the rest of the day. Kate stood in the ocean with Aaron holding her hand as they sunk. He looked up at her and smiled softly.

"Thank you Kate," he said.

"For what?" she asked.

"For being so nice today," he answered.

"Of course," she smiled back.

That night at sunset, just like Claire requested, they had a memorial for Desmond. Claire came, but did so reluctantly. She sat on the ground with Aaron sitting next to her. She held her stomach in one hand and Aaron's hand in the other. Sawyer was standing, holding Julie on his hip and Kate was resting her head on Sawyer's shoulder.

After the funeral Claire was still sitting on the ground with Aaron sitting next to her.

"I'm gonna go put Julie to bed," Kate whispered.

"I wanna stay up," Julie protested.

"It's bedtime," Kate replied. Julie followed Kate back to their tent. Sawyer sat down next to Claire, who immediately to his surprise wrapped her arms around him.

"It's ok mamacita," he whispered. Aaron crawled over to where Sawyer was sitting and put his head on Sawyer's lap.

"I miss my daddy," Aaron said. Sawyer closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He took his arms from around Claire somewhat awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. "I'm sorry Sawyer."

"It's ok," he shook his head. "Don't sweat it."

"Could you carry him up to the tent?" she asked. Sawyer nodded and picked up Aaron. He walked, with Claire following him close behind, up to the tent. He put Aaron down and helped Claire lay down.

"She hasn't moved Sawyer," Claire sobbed.

"What?" he asked.

"The baby," she replied. "She hasn't moved since yesterday."

"Didn't that happen with the little man too?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "After the plane crash."

"Ok then," he whispered. "I guess your kids just have to take a moments rest after something traumatic happens to their momma. It's going to be ok."

"I hope you're right," she sniffled. "I couldn't handle losing Sarah."

"You named her?" Sawyer asked.

"Kind of," she chuckled. "Des told me he really liked the name Sarah. I've been thinking about it for the past 24 hours."

"It's a great name," he told her.

"Thanks," she answered. He looked down at the sleeping Aaron and then back over at Claire, who had tears glinting in her eyes.

"You want me to take the rugrat tonight?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I don't want to sleep in here all by myself."

"Ok," he whispered. "'night."

"Goodnight," she replied.

He walked back to the tent and sat down. Kate moved herself over to where he was sitting and laid her head on his lap. He brushed his hands through her hair. She fell asleep quickly. He knew that she had a hard time falling asleep the previous night. He carefully moved her off of his lap, so he could lay down too. He wrapped his arms around Kate's middle. Every night he could feel that the bump was getting larger.

"Sawyer," Kate whispered.

"Yeah," he said into her ear.

"Will you," she started and then flipped toward him. "I know this is a ridiculous request considering the circumstances, but will you make love to me?"

"What?" he chuckled.

"I just-I need you to love me," she answered.

"Babe I do love you," he told her.

"I know," she nodded. "I just-please make love to me."

"With Julie sleeping right there?" he asked.

"Damn," she whispered. "Tomorrow then. We'll give Julie to Sun to babysit."

"Ok," he laughed again.

"Stop laughing at me," she half whined. "Fine...you know I don't have to want anything. We can just sleep tomorrow night.

"No no," he stated. "I'd be glad to do whatever you want me to do."

"Good," she smiled. "I love you."

"I know ya do," he replied. "And nothing is going to happen to you or Julie, or our new baby."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Well I know that I'm going to do everything in my power to keep all of you safe," he stated.

"The next time we go to the medical hatch I'm going to ask Juliet what the sex of the baby is," she stated. "And then we can start thinking of names."

"Well you know, we don't need to know what we're having to think of names," he told her.

"I really love the name James," she told him.

"I really don't," he shook his head. "You know what I was thinking? I was thinking about the name Austin."

"No," she scoffed. "I don't want to connect our baby with that name."

"Hon, you still love your dad," he told her.

"I don't have a dad," she responded. "I blew my dad up."

"Ok...well you told me that your dad, Sam Austen was someone who you loved for the first 25 years of your life," he replied. "Your dad only was doing his job when he had to call the police. He could have been fired. Did you want that?"

"No," she shook her head. "Of course I still care about Sam. Dad."

"Ok then. And besides that...you're still Kate Austen," he stated.

"No I'm not," she smiled. "I'm Kate Ford."

**A/N: I hope that everyone still enjoys this. It's beginning to get a little redundant, so the next chapter will also jump ahead. I just have to make it jump ahead because of what's going to happen later on in the story. I've actually already written the 'end'...it actually might not end up being the end, but I do have the end in sights. SO yeah. Please review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: I didn't get any reviews for the previous chapter...yet that is, but I'm updating. I am gonna keep udating though, because like I said before I already have the end written, so I have to at least get to the ending. Anyway please please review when you're done reading!**

Over the next couple months Claire got worse instead of better. She was spending all of her time in her tent and would only come out to go to the bathroom or eat. Sawyer and Kate took care of Aaron during the days. It wasn't that Claire didn't want to take care of Aaron, but she could barely make herself get out of bed.

One day Juliet came into the camp. She had been coming more than once a week now, especially because of what Claire was going through. She was afraid that Claire could go into early labor considering the amount of stress she was handling. Claire was 8 months pregnant, Kate was 7 months.

"Hi Juliet," Kate said sweetly. Juliet walked toward her and smiled.

"How's your little one doing?" Juliet asked, putting her hand on Kate's stomach.

"He's good," Kate nodded.

"I'm glad that you're having a boy. I know how much you want one," she said.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm glad too. I'm still really worried about Claire."

"Well chances are since she's lasted this long, she'll be fine," Juliet told her. "You shouldn't be worrying about Claire. You should spend the time worrying about yourself."

"Is there something that I should be worrying about?" Kate asked, slightly panicked.

"No," she shook her head. "Of course not. You're going to be fine. I just meant that you should worry about your own health and not stressing youself out worrying about Claire."

"Yeah well," she started. "It's hard not to worry about her."

"I know," Juliet nodded. "You're a good friend. I'll go get Claire."

"Do you think we really should be walking through the jungle at a time like this?" Kate asked. "I mean I know you said it was ok to wait while Claire mourns, but I think we should just stay on the beach. Can you just do a quick examination here."

"I suppose that would be ok," Juliet nodded. "But if I notice anything strange, then we're going into the jungle. We're going to the hatch."

"Ok," Kate stated.

"Ok," Juliet repeated. "Now I'm going to check you first. So let's go into your tent."

Juliet and Kate ducked into her tent. Kate laid down and then looked up towards Juliet.

"Can you go get-," Kate started.

"Yeah," she nodded. Juliet disappeared out of the tent to go find Sawyer. She returned quickly with Sawyer trailing behind her. He closed the tent flap to give them privacy and took Kate by the hand.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm fine. I'm just-I'm worried about Claire."

"Darlin', Claire is going to be fine," he replied. "I promise you that Claire is going to get through this, and she'll realize that her kids need her."

"Yeah," Kate said. "I know. You've been saying that every day."

"And every day she's fine," he stated.

Juliet checked Kate quickly and told her that everything was fine. She left the tent to head for Claire's and Kate stayed where she was. Sawyer laid down next to her. He kissed her temple and then each of her cheeks.

"I have to go get Julie," Kate whispered. She sat up and left the tent. Sawyer went after her and grabbed her gently by the arm.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she shook her head.

"Kate," Sawyer said softly. "Seriously. What's wrong?"

"I've been really worried about the baby lately."

"Why didn't you say something to Juliet?" he asked.

"Because she would have just told me to calm down and stop worrying...and you would have said the same thing."

"Sweetheart," he started. "If you really think something's wrong I will worry with you ok? Let's just go tell Juliet that you're worried. What's been happening?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. Sawyer glared at her. "No. Really. Nothing has been happening. It's just an instinct. That's why I haven't said anything."

"Ok," he nodded. "Let's go get Juliet and she can double check you."

"No," she answered. "I don-"

"Kate, stop," he replied. "You're going to be fine, but you have to tell Juliet that you're worried. Even if it's just an instinct."

Sawyer took Kate by the hand and they walked together up to Claire's tent. Juliet and Claire were talking. Claire sounded panicked and Juliet was trying to calm her down. Kate told Sawyer silently to wait outside. She pulled back the flap and Claire was crying.

"What happened?" Kate asked.

"She's going into labor," Juliet told her.

"It's too soon," Claire sobbed.

"Claire," Kate whispered. "People have babies early all the time. Julie was 4 months early and look at her. She's doing great. And so will Sarah."

"I need Desmond," Claire told her.

"I know you do honey, but me...me and Sawyer are here for you ok?" she asked. Sawyer heard his name and peeked his head in.

"Kate, Sawyer, I'm going to need both of your help ok?" Juliet stated. "Sawyer you're going to have to hand me anything that I tell you. Got it?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"And with the other hand hold Claire's hand and let her squeeze it. Let her break it if she has to," Juliet told him. He looked at her like she was crazy, but none the less he sat down and held Claire's hand.

"Kate," Juliet began. "You are going to have to keep Claire breathing."

Kate nodded and looked at Sawyer. They both held Claire's hands and whenever Juliet asked one of them to do something they did it. Everyone else on the beach knew what was happening. Some of them stayed away, but some of them waited outside.

"I'm gonna be sick," Kate groaned.

"You've done this before," Sawyer half scoffed.

"That's not why," Kate stood up and left the tent quickly. Sawyer started to follow her, but Claire held his hand tightly.

"Please," she whispered. "Don't leave."

He took a deep breath and sat back down. About 10 minutes later Claire gave birth. Juliet handed Claire the baby. Claire was crying. She had let go of Sawyer's hand and was now concentrating entirely on the baby in her arms. She saw Sawyer looking toward the tent exit.

"It's ok," she whispered. "You can go now."

Sawyer felt a little guilty to leave so quickly, but he wanted to know if Kate was ok. He searched for her on the beach, and didn't see her. He didn't see Julie either. Walking toward the tent he could hear voices. Kate was telling Julie and Aaron about Claire having the baby.

"Can I go see mommy?" Aaron asked as Sawyer went inside. Kate looked up at Sawyer with a little bit of concern. He nodded at her and smiled, telling her everything was ok.

"Yeah," he stated. "You have a new baby sister."

"Sawa!" Aaron said loudly. He left the tent quickly and ran towards his own tent. Kate made a wincing face that she tried to hide from Sawyer, but it was too late.

"Kate?" he asked. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she lied. "I'm fine."

"Julie," Sawyer started. "Can you go find Sun for me? Go play with Steven for a minute?"

"Ok daddy," she answered. She left the tent. Sawyer bent down next to Kate.

"What's wong Kate?" he asked. "Tell me."

"I've been having contractions all morning," she replied.

"Since when?" he asked.

"Since we went to tell Juliet," she groaned through another contraction.

"How far apart are they?" he questioned.

"About 3 minutes," she answered.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Are you kidding me? Why didn't you say something?"

"Because of Claire," she replied. "I didn't want to worry her, or take the attention from her, or steal Juliet from her."

"Dammit Kate," he sighed. "I'll be right back."

"No!" she grabbed his hand roughly and dug her finger nails into his wrist. "Don't leave me."

He sighed and held Kate's hand tightly. He stretched his arm across the tent, while still holding Kate's hand and opened the flap.

"Juliet!" he yelled. "Juliet!"

Juliet came a few minutes later.

"What is it?" she asked. "I was just finishing up-oh my god, she's in labor?"

"Yeah," he breathed deeply.

"How far apart are the contractions?" Juliet asked.

"3 minutes," he told her.

"Kate, why didn't you say something?" she questioned.

"I couldn't," she groaned. "Just please. Do something. I can't lose my baby."

"You won't," Juliet answered. "I promise. And it's like you said earlier. Julie was 4 months early. She shouldn't have survived, and she did. It's ok. Don't push yet, just-wait."

"Sawyer," Kate said quietly.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I'm right here."

"Can you-can you go tell Sun that she might be watching Julie for a while?" Kate asked.

He started getting up and Kate pulled him back down.

"No," she sobbed. "Nevermind. Don't leave."

"Ok," he chuckled. "It's ok."

He felt like he was experiencing de'ja vu from the only 15 or so minutes earlier. Juliet was giving him instructions and he was doing everything she asked. When she said she could see the head Kate started freaking out. She said she didn't want to have the baby. Sawyer did everything he could to calm her down and stop her from hurting herself or the baby.

"Kate, you can do this," he told her. "This is going to be awesome. And we're finally going to have our son ok."

She sniffled and nodded. She did everything that Juliet told her to do, and Sawyer and Kate became parents again.

* * *

They were laying in the tent. Everything had gone fine. Kate was holding their baby boy and Sawyer was laying next to her. The baby was sleeping. Sawyer thought that Kate should sleep too, but she refused to close her eyes. She wanted to watch their baby. Julie was sleeping on Sawyer and Kate's bed next to Sawyer. She was snoring softly. It always made Kate and Sawyer laugh that their 5 year old snored like that. 

Even though he was 2 months early the baby was bigger than expected and healthy. Juliet decided to stay in their camp for a few days just to make sure that Kate, Claire, and the babies were ok.

"So what should we name him, James," she whispered.

"I already told you," he replied. "I like the name Austin. That's my only imput. If you don't like it then name him whatever you want."

"How about James then?" she chuckled. He rolled her eyes at her and she kissed his lips softly. "How about Austin James then?"

"Ok," Sawyer groaned. "You win. Now put the baby down and go to sleep."

"Alright," she nodded. As much as she hated to admit it she was exhausted and didn't know if she could stay awake much longer. She put the baby down in the new crib that Sayid had helped Sawyer make.

Over the next several months Sawyer, Kate, and the kids spent every day together. Sawyer would help Julie read to Austin, even though they all knew he didn't understand what they were reading.

Claire started getting somewhat better. She was taking care of the kids and coming out of the tent more often, but they all knew that she was still not over Desmond. They all knew that she might never be.

"Mommy will you come into the ocean with me?" Julie asked coming up to Kate. Kate was holding Austin. Sawyer was sitting next to her.

"I'm taking care of the baby right now," she replied.

"No," she whined. "Come swimming with me."

"Not right now," Kate answere somewhat sternly.

"I'll go with you munchkin," Sawyer stated, standing up.

"No mommy come," Julie responded.

"Daddy can go with you. I'll play with you later," Kate said.

"Mommy doesn't like me anymore," Julie said quietly. She splashed into the water where Steven and Aaron were waiting for her. Sawyer stood up and went after her. Kate barely flinched at what Julie said. Since the baby had been born Julie was very jealous. But in the defense of Julie, Kate had been spending a lot of time with the baby and every time Julie wanted to do something with Kate she seemed to be too busy with her baby brother.

Sawyer splashed into the water, making big movements with his legs and arms. The kids all squealed in delight. He chased Julie, who started laughing and running from him. He picked her up and threw her back into the water. When she came up for a breath she breathed in deep.

"Daddy!" she sobbed. "I wasn't ready. Water went up my nose."

"Sorry," he shrugged. He walked toward her and hugged her into his arms. "You're mommy and me love you very very much ok? We love your new brother too."

"Duh," she said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I know you feel left out, but I promise we'll try harder ok."

"Not mommy," she pouted. "Mommy doesn't even care that I finished reading Are You There God, It's Me Margaret all by myself."

"You finished it?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I think I'm ready for Watership Down."

"Not yet," he chuckled. "Definitely when you're a little older, but it's kind of hard to explain it to you."

"But it's your favorite book!" she exclaimed. "I want it to be mine too."

"It will be someday then," he stated. "But right now it's too old for you."

"Fine," she half whined. "Then I'll just read The Fountainhead."

"How do you even know that book?" he asked.

"Daddy you read it all the time too. And I sounded the name out."

"Hmm," he began. "Good job. I guess I can teach a 5 year old to read."

"Uh, yeah. But I was 4 when we started learning."

"Yeah, but you were 5 when you started reading a book with help."

"Well now I'm almost 6 and I can do it by myself."

"I know," he nodded. "Pretty soon you'll be all grown up. And you and Aaron will be moving in together."

"What does that mean daddy?" she asked.

"Nothing," he mumbled. "It meant nothing."

"I want to go play with mommy," Julie stated.

"Ok," Sawyer nodded. "I'll go take the baby from her."

"She won't like that daddy," she told him.

"Yeah I know," he replied. "But she needs to have some quality time with her little girl."

Julie smiled at him widely and watched him walk up to where Kate was sitting.

"Kate," Sawyer said.

"Huh?" Kate asked looking up at him.

"Do you wanna give me the baby? Or am I gonna have to kidnap, A from you."

"Why do you insist on calling him A?" she asked.

"You insist on calling him James, and that ain't even his name," Sawyer replied.

"Whatever why do you want to take him?" she questioned.

"Because our daughter needs your attention too," he answered. "Now go play in the ocean with her."

Kate nodded and handed the baby to Sawyer. Sawyer headed up the beach with him to sit with Claire. Kate splashed into the water and both Kate and Julie laughed loudly and hard when they started playing. Sawyer smiled as he sat down.

"How you doin' mamacita?" he asked Claire.

"I'm doing ok," she replied. "I don't-I thought this would get easier but it hasn't. He's supposed to be here Sawyer."

"I know," he nodded. "But if it makes you feel any better chances are he went to heaven and he's watchin' over all of you."

"Thanks," she whispered. "I'm-I'm just really sad."

"I know you are," he said. "And to tell you the truth...I'd be inconsoleable if anything happened to Kate. She's my reason to live."

"What about your kids?" she asked. "That's my reason to keep getting up every morning."

"Yeah," he replied. "Them too. I guess if Kate died...I'd probably hide in my tent for a few months, but I'd live for my kids. No kid deserves to grow up without parents."

"You're right," she answered. "I grew up without a dad. And when I found out who the guy was...turns out he was a real ass."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "My dad was a screw up too. Killed himself...and my momma."

"That's terrible," she whispered. "Do you mind if I ask you how old you were?"

"8," he answered. "It was 2 weeks before my 9th birthday."

"Wow," she gulped. "I'm sorry."

"Was a long time ago," he replied. "It don't matter any more. The only thing that matters is I'm never going to be him."

"Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed. "Come on!"

Sawyer sighed and stood up.

"What am I gonna do with A?" he yelled back to Kate.

"Claire will watch him!" she exclaimed. "Come play with us!"

He hadn't seen Kate have fun like this in a long time. He smirked down at Claire. Claire nodded. He ran up to his tent and dragged the baby's crib outside and next to Claire.

"Thanks Claire," he said.

"No problem," she shook her head. "Have fun!"

Sawyer was a good man. He had really been so good with Aaron. He helped Claire as much as he could. So did Kate. She was beginning to really like the southerner. But she knew he could never like her, not in the way that she liked him. He was clearly in love with Kate, and she would never try to take him away from her. Not that it would work anyway. Claire watched as the family played in the water. Sawyer and Kate were splashing each other and Julie. Sawyer picked up Julie and threw her into a wave, and then he did the same thing with Kate. Julie swam over to where Jin and Sun were with Steven. Sawyer picked Kate up again and this time didn't throw her. She wrapped her legs around him and they kissed. She rested her hands on his cheeks.

"I love you," she whispered. He dunked under the water and gave her another kiss. It was enough for her. When they came up for air they both noticed how miserable Claire must be.

"Ok," Sawyer said. "So you know how much I love you. And you also know how much I love playing with you in the water, but...why don't you go watch the kids for a minute, and I'll throw Claire into the water."

"That's an awful flirtatious gesture James Ford," she stated.

"Well I throw our daughter, Aaron, and Stevie into the water too, and I can guarantee you that I'm not flirting with them."

"You have a point," she replied. She walked out of the water and towards where Claire was sitting. She sat down next to Claire and took the baby Sarah from Claire's arms. Claire let her, but had a confused look on her face. Sawyer appeared from what it seemed like thin air and ran towards her. He picked her up with one arm and ran down to the water.

"Sawyer, what are you doing?" she asked, somewhat irritated.

"You're going into the water," he responded.

"I'm wearing my clothes," she half protested.

"So," he stated. He threw her into an on coming wave. When her head reached the surface she glared at Sawyer.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"Just thought that you could use some fun in your life," he answered. "You've been moping for 6 months straight."

"I know," she stated. "Can you blame me?"

"Now you know I get it," he argued. "I told you earlier. I'd be inconsoleable if it were Kate. I just-I thought you could have used a small smile."

"Well as usual Sawyer, you're right," she smiled softly. "Thanks. Can I go back up there now?"

"Yeah," he nodded. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. She ran back up to where Kate was sitting and sat down in her wet clothes.

"Do you want to change?" Kate asked.

"Nah," she shook her head. "I'm alright. The sun's hot...I'll dry off quickly."

"So I saw you trying to move in on my man," she smirked.

"No Kate I-" Claire began.

"Claire," Kate smiled again. "I was kidding. It was just a peck on the cheek. Definitely not a big deal."

"Ok," she breathed. "Sorry. I'm just a little on edge."

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "I can see that. And I kinda think that was the point of Sawyer throwing you into the water. To calm you down...make you laugh and smile even if it's just for a moment."

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm just not ready to be little miss perky. I live each day for my kids...nothing else. So anyway, go ahead. Get back to him."

"Nah," Kate shook her head. "I'll stay here with my baby. He looks just like Sawyer. I bet this is exactly what he looked like as a baby."

"Me too," Kate chuckled. "I'm glad Aaron looks nothing like his biological dad. I don't need that reminder everyday."

"Well I think that Sarah has some of Desmond's traits," Kate told her.

"Like what?" Claire asked. "She has blonde hair and blue eyes."

"But I bet she has his nose or something," Kate smiled. "I mean...Austin looks exactly like Sawyer, but Sawyer insists he has my mouth. Considering he doesn't have any teeth yet, I'm hoping that he's just referring to the shape of it."

Claire smiled and nodded.

"As much as I hate to admit it, Aaron has his dad's nose and chin," she replied. "But for the most part he just looks like me."

"Aaron's adorable. He'll definitely be a heartbreaker when he's old enough."

"If he keeps hanging around Sawyer, he'll be a conning heartbreaker," Claire chuckled.

"We'll just have to make sure the evil side of Sawyer doesn't rub off on him. But honestly Sawyer's a really just a southern gentleman. He may have a checkerboarded past, but don't we all?"

"Yeah," Claire nodded. "So I take it you know about his childhood."

"Yep," Kate answered. "And honestly...with a childhood like that...it would have been a miracle if Sawyer had turned out to be a perfect gentleman."

"I think I'm a pretty decent man Freckles," he stated, approaching the two women.

"Yeah now you are," she smiled. "Now that I've been able to change you."

"Yeah, well you make me want to be a better man Freckles," he stated, raising his eyebrows like Jack Nicholson.

"James Ford," Kate said. "Did you see As Good As It Gets?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Snuck in to the theater with one of my cons."

Kate smacked him in the chest. Even though she knew he had to be telling the truth. She couldn't see him ever watching that movie willingly unless it was to get into somebody's pants. She also knew that he had changed not only because of her, but because of Julie and Austin. She stood up and wrapped her arms around Sawyer's neck.

"I'm gonna go check on Aaron," Claire told the couple. They both smiled and nodded at her. She walked toward the water, holding Sarah in her arms. Sun came up to her and took the baby from her. Claire went into the water with Aaron, as Sun watched the baby. Kate and Sawyer both grinned at the scene and sat down in the sand.

"Would you go see a chick flick with me?" Kate asked.

"If we weren't on an island, and you really wanted to, I guess I'd have to wouldn't I?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'd never make you. I'm not the chick flick kinda girl anyway. I was always the horror flick/action kinda girl."

"Yeah," he nodded. "I can believe that. In fact, it surprises me that you even know the movie As Good As It Gets."

"Unfortunately it was my roomate's favorite movie. She would play just that scene, over and over. So I knew that one line at least. Can't really remember much else about it."

"What about 'you complete me'?" he asked.

"Oh I knew that one from Austin Powers," she chuckled. "My dad...he wanted to see those movies just because of the name Austin. I went with him and the you complete me part cracked us both up. We only later learned that, that line was from some gushy girly movie."

"Yeah but it was-it was the best part of the movie," he replied. "At least according to Maria."

"Maria?" Kate asked.

"Don't ask," he shook his head. "She meant nothing."

"Why would you even bother taking these girls to the movies if you were just going to dump them?"

"It's all part of the act Freckles. You gotta keep up appearances...and according to most women you can't have a relationship based solely on great sex...emphasis on the great part."

"Please," she scoffed.

"You know I'm the best you've ever had," he stated.

"You're definitely the 'cockiest'," she grinned widely. He let out a soft chuckle and then kissed her.

"That was a good one Freckles," he said quietly. "So do you think Sun would look after the munchkin and the rugrat?"

"I don't think we should do that to Sun," she answered. "Jin's teaching Julie more swimming right now. And I don't want to leave my little boy. I love that he looks just like you. Is that what you looked like as a baby?"

"I dunno," he shook his head. "I guess. My momma used to show me pictures all the time, but when I left to go live with my grandparents...well neither of them ever showed me pictures because it made them too upset. They never talked about them."

"So you haven't seen pictures of yourself as a baby since you were 8?" she asked.

"Technically speaking. Then when I was 16 I moved out completely never to see any of my family again."

"Sawyer," Kate whispered.

"I don't need your pity," he said, almost a little too harshly for Kate. "I have you, Julie, and A, and that's all I need."

"You're all I need too Sawyer," she stated quietly. He kissed her again softly on the lips.

**A/N: OK so yeah...more jumping ahead next chapter, and a major turning point in the story (Not that both Kate and Claire having their babies wasn't major)...but even more major. Please review if you have time!**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: OK so this is jumping ahead a lot...sorry. I'm just running out of ideas, but since I already had this written I'm going to post it, but it's a while later.**

**_2 years later_**

Kate was standing in the surf with Austin. Sawyer had convinced Kate that it was too confusing when she called Austin, James, because she also called Sawyer, James sometimes. They both agreed that it would be much easier if they just all called him Austin...or in Sawyer's case A. Julie was down in the water with Aaron and Steven. Steven was splashing her and she was squealing and whining. She was definitely a big whiner and it really irritated both Sawyer and Kate. Sawyer had almost no tolerance for it and whenever she would whine that something wasn't fair he would get mad...sometimes he'd yell, and sometimes he'd just walked away. Julie much preferred him to just walk away, but sometimes that was a harder punishment because he would ignore her the rest of the day. As she whined Aaron and Steven continued to splash. They both knew that it was only going to make her more mad, but that was the best part.

"Stop it Steven!" she whined and splashed him back. Aaron cackled with laughter and dunked Julie under the water.

"Aaron!" she whined louder. "Mommy Aaron's not being nice."

"Julie," Kate said.

"What?" Julie half whined.

"Quit whining," she replied. "Come here."

Julie walked up to her, stomping in the water and splashing as she walked. She splashed Austin, who started to whine back.

"Stop that," Kate said. "Just stand here for a second with me."

"And sink?" she asked. "Mom that's so dumb. I don't know why you like to do it."

"Cuz it feels cool," Kate responded. "Quit being a brat and quit whining. How old are you now?"

"Mom I'm 7," she stated.

"That's right," Kate nodded. "Now...how about you start acting your age instead of your shoe size."

"I don't wear shoes," Julie said. "I don't know my shoe size."

"Well it's probably 4 or 5," Kate answered. "So are you gonna stop whining?"

"Fine," she whined once more and walked back to her 'boyfriends'. Sawyer constantly teased her that they were both her boyfriends, and she constantly argued back that they were just her friends. Sawyer would tell Kate when they were alone that it would be the island love triangle when they got old enough. He also said that he was going to get a better lock for their own tent because now Julie obviously knew how to open the lock on the tent. Kate let out a deep breath when Julie didn't whine the next time she was splashed.

"Momma?" Austin asked patting her on the leg.

"Yeah," she answered looking down at him.

"Can we go 'wimming'?" he questioned.

"Yeah we can go 'wimming'," Kate half mocked. She took him by the hand and walked with him into the water. She stopped walking when the waves were hitting him in the stomach.

"More," he said pointing to where his sister and her friends were playing.

"That's too deep Austin," Kate said. "It's over your head."

"More!" he exclaimed.

"Ok," Kate answered. "But that means I have to carry you."

He eagerly lifted his arms up for Kate to pick him up. She chuckled and picked him up. He held on tight to her neck as she went deeper. When she got to where the other kids were playing, Austin wanted to go further still.

"More?" he asked tentitively. Kate smirked at him and nodded. She went further into the water. The other kids weren't allowed to go past a certain point. Even though they were all great swimmers by now, the parents were all too nervous to let them go too deep without an adult there, just in case.

"Daaad!" Julie whined.

"Whaaat?" he whined back.

"Can you come into the water so we can go deeper?" she asked. Sawyer stood up from his comfortable spot by the tent and walked into the water.

"Haha Austin, we get to go where you are," Julie said, somewhat nastily. Austin flailed his arms and legs trying to get towards Julie. Kate had a firm grip on him, but he was moving around so much that he managed to get away from her. He went under water immediately, but was able to come up to the surface. Kate grabbed him before a particularly big wave came and hit them both. She jumped up so the wave didn't splash them further and looked down at Austin. He was coughing and crying.

"Austin," she gasped. "No. Don't do that again."

He shook his head and held on as tight as ever to Kate's neck. Sawyer who had seen the entire incident went toward Kate and Austin.

"He ok?" he asked.

"He's fine," Kate nodded. "I think he scared himself more than anything."

"Well, that'll teach ya from 'wimming' away from momma," Sawyer stated. Austin let go of Kate's neck and reached toward Sawyer.

"Wim again!" Austin exclaimed.

"Kid has no fear," Sawyer said. "That's gotta be the Kate in him."

Kate smiled widely and nodded. Austin continued to try and get away from Kate. Kate loosened her grip, but not all the way. Sawyer stood a couple feet away from Kate and Austin swam toward Sawyer. It was more like a doggie paddle, and he almost sunk right before he got to Sawyer, but he definitely kept his head above the water. Sawyer laughed loudly and picked the two year old up out of the water.

"Freckles," Sawyer walked toward her.

"What?" she asked, with a small smile.

"Wanna go for a walk with me?" he asked.

"Huh?" she chuckled.

"Let's just get away from the kids for a couple hours. We both deserve it," he replied. She smiled and nodded. They walked out of the water and towards where Claire was sitting with Sarah. Sawyer put Aaron down next to her. Claire was now pretty much over Desmond. She had her bad days sometimes, but she was back to being smiley and friendly toward the entire camp. Kate asked her if she could watch Austin while she and Sawyer went into the jungle. Claire nodded and smiled at the couple.

Kate took Sawyer by the hand and they walked into the jungle. Kate and Sawyer were about 30 feet into the jungle when he grabbed onto her arms gently, but roughly at the same time, and pushed her against a near by tree.

"James," she whispered.

"Katherine," he whispered back. She hated when anyone called her Katherine. The only person who was allowed to call her Katherine was her mom. She glared up at him.

"What are you doing?" she asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"I'm kissing you," he replied, and then he did. He kissed her and started to reach his hands towards her pants.

"Sawyer," she groaned. "I don't want to do this against a damn tree. Besides, we just had sex last night."

"I love you," he said, ignoring what she said.

"Well, I love you too," she answered. "But-"

Before she could go on he had wrapped his arms around her tightly and shut her up with his mouth. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. They continued to kiss.

None of them had seen the monster since Desmond died. They actually tried their best to stay away from the jungle...especially Kate. But every so often she would go into the jungle to pick fruit, or to be alone with Sawyer. Suddenly the tree that Kate was being pressed against began to shake. They both stood up and looked. Neither of them saw the monster, but it didn't last long. The black smoke came out from the trees and stopped in front of Kate. She stared up at it. Sawyer wasn't sure if she was in shock, or if she was just curious. He didn't really care, he knew he had to get her away from it. He took her by the hand and started to run, dragging her behind him. Her feet caught up with her and she started running too finally. Without warning Sawyer lost his grip on Kate, and he felt her and heard her being dragged backwards. She was screaming his name. Sawyer turned back around and ran towards her. He grabbed on to her hands, but didn't get a good enough grip on them. She was tossed into the air and came down like a rag doll.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. He ran up to her and craddled her on his lap. "Kate can you hear me?" he asked.

"I love you James," she choked on the blood that had pooled in her mouth.

"Don't do that," he said quietly. "No. You're going to live."

"Tell Austin and Julie that I love them too," she breathed. She closed her eyes and fell limp in Sawyer's arms.

"Freckles," he whispered. "Don't leave me."

A/N: I'm sorry. There is a method to my madness. I know I'm a horrible person haha, but I've been planning this for a while. I hope that you guys aren't too mad at me...lol. Please review.


	30. Chapter 30

Kate was dead. It all happened so fast that Sawyer didn't even know if it actually had just happened. He looked around his surroundings and then back at Kate, who was laying lifeless in his lap. He didn't know what to do or even how to feel. He almost felt numb to a certain degree. He didn't have time to say goodbye, or cry...so he didn't do either.

Sawyer put his head down and let out a deep breath. He had no idea what he was going to do. He knew that he would have to bring her back to the beach. He would give her a proper burial. The one thing that got to him more than anything is what he was going to say to Julie. He let out a soft breath, that resembled a sob, but he still wasn't crying. He walked back to the beach, carrying Kate. When he got there he didn't tell anyone. He just wanted a few minutes to get his thoughts together. He still had no clue what to tell anyone let alone his kids. He started digging. The sweat was pouring down his face. He wasn't sure if he was crying. It felt like he was, but there seemed to be no tears coming out of his eyes. Instead they were staying in his eyes. His eyes were wet and blurry, but wiping them didn't do anything, because new tears would form, refusing to fall.

"Sawyer?" Sayid asked. "What are you doing?"

"What the hell does it look like Ali?" he questioned back.

"It looks like you are digging, but why?" Sayid's question was answered when he looked down and saw Kate's lifeless body laying in the sand and covered with a blanket.

"What happened?" Sayid asked.

"Smokey," Sawyer answered without looking up. "She warned me. She told me all the time that the smoke monster was after her. I didn't believe her. I should have believed her."

Sawyer began to dig again, and didn't look up. Sayid came up behind him and stopped him. He began to take the shovel from him and Sawyer wrenched it back from him.

"We all left you alone when you buried Shannon," Sawyer said with a serious look on his face.

"You are right," Sayid nodded. "I will leave you alone. Would you like me to tell everyone about this?"

"I don't know what to tell people," Sawyer admitted. "If you tell them, make sure you also tell them to leave me and the kids alone. And I need to tell my kids. I don't want them hearing it from everyone else."

"Of course," Sayid said. "I am sorry. This is truly the worst possible thing. I loved Shannon a lot, but she wasn't a mother."

"Yeah, well Shannon was also younger than Kate, so she got a lot less time on this earth. Death sucks," Sawyer shook his head.

"Yes. It does."

Sawyer crawled out of the grave that he had just dug and paced in front of the graveyard. He had been thinking about what to tell the kids, and he still had nothing. He walked up to Claire's tent.

"Sawyer," Claire breathed. She stood up and hugged him tightly. "Are you ok?"

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I know," she nodded. "I know you're not ok. I'm so sorry."

"Can I ask you somethin'?" he started.

"Anything," she answered.

"What did you tell Aaron when Desmond died?" he asked.

"I told him that Desmond had to go away for a while, but that he loved him very much," she replied. "When I said that I told him a few months ago that he was never coming back, but that he would always be in his heart.."

"Thanks," he whispered and nodded. "I have to go tell Julie."

"Do you want me to come and take Austin?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "I have to tell them both. I know he won't know what the hell I'm talking about, but he still should hear it before have the funeral."

"Is the funeral tonight?" she asked.

"I don't care," he shook his head.

"I'll spread the word," she told him. He nodded and walked down to his own tent. Julie was sitting cross-legged on her small bed reading a book. Are You There God, It's Me Margaret. Sawyer had read it to her dozens of times, and it was her favorite book. She was reading it out loud to Austin who wasn't paying attention. He ducked into the tent and sat down on Julie's bed.

"Hey," he whispered. "Whatcha readin'?"

She didn't reply, but held the book up so he could read the title. He reached for the book and took it from her.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I want to finish the chapter."

"Julie," he began. "I need to-there's something-I need to talk to you."

"Something's wrong," she said, her eyes getting wider. "Where's mom?"

"Julie," he said again.

"No!" she yelled. "Where's mommy?"

"She's not here right now," he said quietly. Austin started to whine and reach up for Sawyer. He bent down and picked up the toddler.

"Where's mom?" she asked again.

"Julie," he whispered.

"Stop saying my dumb name and tell me where mom is," she said, half sobbing.

"She had to go away for a while," Sawyer began quietly.

"No!" she screamed. "That's what Claire told Aaron when Desmond died! Just tell me the truth. I-please tell me that she's not dead, dad."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "She loved you so much."

Aaron started whining louder, and reaching for Sawyer's face. Sawyer sighed, put Austin down and moved toward Julie.

"She loved you both," Sawyer continued.

"No," Julie frowned. "No."

He wrapped his arms around the 7 year old. She sobbed into his chest. Austin finally realized something was wrong. He stood up and put his hand on Sawyer's shoulder, trying to ask him what happened. Sawyer reached around and brought Austin between himself and Julie. He hugged both the kids, and forced his tears away.

That night they had the funeral. Julie refused to come out of the tent. Sawyer didn't really want to go either, but he knew that he would regret it if he missed it. He tried his best to get Julie to come, but she still refused. He went into his stash to find an airplane bottle of liquor that he knew was in his stash. He had saved it for a day when he really needed it...and he did. As he dug he came across his note to Kate. To Freckles-Keep the bed warm Love James. He folded the letter and went out to where people had started gathering. He put the small piece of paper in Kate's jeans pocket, before Jin and Sayid lowered her body into the hole that Sawyer had dug. Sawyer walked over to where Claire was standing. Austin was standing next to him too, holding his hand. Austin reached up for Sawyer to pick him up and started crying when Sawyer didn't pick him up right away. Sawyer let out another deep breath and picked up the child. Austin cried onto Sawyer's shoulder. Sawyer knew that Austin had no idea why everyone was so sad...he also didn't understand why Kate wasn't there. Aaron was sitting in the sand with Steven. They both had really liked Kate. Kate was the best 'aunt' ever. Everyone said something except Sawyer. He knew that if he opened his mouth he would choke on the lump that was caught in his throat, and he would end up crying in front of everyone. That was the last thing he wanted. After the memorial service was over people started leaving. Sawyer sat down on the sand with Austin on his lap.

"Where Mama?" Austin asked. Sawyer didn't say anything but kissed the little blonde boy on the forehead. The only people left standing there were Sawyer and Claire. Claire looked down at him sympathetically and squeezed his shoulder.

"Can you take A?" Sawyer whispered. Claire nodded and picked up the little boy. Aaron was carrying Sarah awkwardly and the group walked back to Claire's tent. Sawyer sighed and began throwing the random pieces of grass that was poking out of the sand. He picked up a few small stones and threw those too.

"You know Kate," he started. "This really sucks. Julie and Austin deserve to grow up with a mom and a dad. We both had screwed up childhoods, so you know that as well as I do. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. Goodbye Freckles."

He stood up and brushed the sand off of his jeans. He took a deep breath and walked back to his tent. He almost forgot that Julie was still inside. He went into the tent and laid down on his and Kate's bed. He couldn't believe that the night before Kate was laying right next to him, and now she wasn't. He took a deep breath and put his hands to his face. He heard Julie clear her throat. He knew his daughter, she didn't want to be touched or held right now. She wanted to be alone. Even though they were both awake and both hurting, neither of them went to each other for comfort. Sawyer wanted to hug Julie, but he knew she needed to come to him. If he were to hug her, she would just push him off of her, and it could turn into an arguement, which Sawyer didn't have the strength for.

"Sawyer," Claire's voice whispered. He cleared his throat, to get rid of the sob that he was about to let out.

"Yeah," he said, opening the tent flap.

"Austin was asking for you," she said handing him the little boy. Austin was crying. Sawyer hugged him and thanked Claire with a nod. Claire sadly walked away and back up to her tent. Sawyer put Austin down in his bed.

"Story?" Austin asked through a small sob.

"Not tonight A," Sawyer whispered. "I'll tell you a story tomorrow night."

"Story!" Austin demanded.

"Austin shut up!" Julie yelled sitting up. "Leave daddy alone."

Julie never called him daddy anymore unless she was upset, or really wanted something. He took Julie's hand in his and gave it a squeeze. Julie yanked her hand back, just like he knew she would and laid back down. Austin was now crying from having his sister yell at him. Sawyer laid down next to Austin and rubbed his back. Austin must have been tired because he fell asleep quickly. Sawyer went back to his own bed and laid down. He had only been laying there for about 5 minutes when he could hear both kids breathing rhythmically. They were sleeping. Sawyer had the rest of the night to himself.

**_FLASHBACK-LAST NIGHT_**

Kate ducked into the tent and grinned widely at Sawyer. He smiled back, but wasn't quite sure why they were smiling.

"What's goin' on Freckles?" he asked.

"Kids are gone for the night," she told him.

"Huh?" he chuckled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," she began as she knelt next to him and gave him a deep kiss. "Julie requested to have a sleepover with Aaron tonight. And then Claire, being the very loving neighbor and friend told me that she would take Austin too."

"So...we have the next 8 or so hours to ourselves?" he asked quietly.

She smiled again and kissed him. They were kissing for a few minutes, and Kate stopped. She smiled again and leaned against him. He could hear her laughing softly.

"What?" he asked.

"I just-" she bit her lip and smiled again. She took his hand in hers and placed it on her stomach.

"Are you kiddin' me?" he questioned.

"No," she laughed. "I-"

"We weren't even trying," he told her. "We still have that box of condoms."

"I know," she nodded. "And I know you've been using them too. Maybe that was our problem when we wanted to have Austin."

"What are you saying?" he laughed.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "And I don't really care. I just know that I'm pregnant."

He kissed her again and pulled her on top of him. She kissed him back and took his shirt off. He helped her strip too and was holding her in his strong arms.

**_FLASHBACK OVER_**

He looked over to the side of the tent and punched the airplane that made up the side of the shelter. He ended up hitting the window hard enough to crack it, but not hard enough to make his hand go through it. He wasn't sure what the windows in airplanes were made out of, but he was pissed that it didn't break. All he could think of was how they made love the previous night. It was soft and gentle. Almost as if they knew that it would be the last time. He wanted to hold on for just a second longer. He wanted to be able to see her and touch her just one more time. Another baby wasn't something that he necessarily wanted, and he didn't know if Kate wanted it either, but all he wanted to do was cry. He wanted to cry for Kate and for their unborn child. He sniffled back the tears and looked toward the two kids. Austin was sleeping soundly, with his thumb in his mouth. Julie was sleeping on her smaller bed. He closed his eyes and breathed in deep. _Get it together James. Stay strong for A and Julie. _He felt Julie moving over to his bed. She stayed completely silent but curled her body up against Sawyer's. He put his arms around her and she cried onto his shoulder. It took almost everything he had to not cry in front of her, but he managed to do it. She fell back to sleep. Sawyer figured it was a mixture between crying herself to sleep, and the fact that it was so late. He stood up as straight as he could in the tent and looked down at both the sleeping children. He left the tent and walked down the beach. He could still see the tent, but he felt like he was far enough away to let himself cry. He put his hand down and cried harder than he had in years. He couldn't even remember crying this hard at his own parents death. Kate was the only person who had every loved him besides his mother. And she loved him despite all the horrible things he had done. He put his hands to his mouth to hide the sobs that were coming out of his mouth. He saw movement in Claire's tent. He quickly stood up and went back to his tent. He wiped his cheeks off and laid back down to Julie. He carefully put his arms around her, but kept his eyes wide open. He knew that he wasn't going to sleep that night at all.

It was around midnight. Julie was still sleeping right next to Sawyer. Austin had moved over to Julie's bed. He did it almost every night. Sometimes Julie would complain and push him back to his own bed, but sometimes she would let him sleep next to her. Austin had no idea what was going on. Sawyer was partly thankful that Austin didn't have to go through the pain of losing Kate, but at the same time he was angry that Austin would never know his mom or how much she loved and wanted him.

"Daddy?" Julie asked. Sawyer jumped. He wasn't expecting it and her voice scared him.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat.

"I love you," she told him wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Love you too, munchkin," he said.

**A/N: Please review!**


	31. Chapter 31

_Sawyer was in the tent alone. Julie was spending time with Aaron. Austin was taking a nap in Claire's tent. He looked to the ceiling and let out a deep breath. He could hear someone coming into the tent. He lifted his head slowly. Kate walked into the tent._

_"Kate," he whispered._

_"Shh," she held a finger up to her lips and bent toward him. She kissed him softly and carefully. He wrapped his amrs around her tightly and kissed her back. He could smelled her hair and tasted her lips._

Sawyer opened his eyes and gasped. He closed his eyes again. It had been 2 weeks. He dreamed of her every night. He knew that Kate was gone, but every night he wished he could stay asleep forever. He wished that the monster had gotten them both. Then he heard Julie's voice outside the tent. She was actually laughing. He could hear Aaron and Steven talking. He was glad that he would still be here to take care of the kids. He hadn't cried since the night Kate died. He refused to let himself.

"I gotta go ask my dad," Julie said. She went into the tent, and Sawyer closed his eyes, pretending he was sleeping.

"Dad, get up," she scoffed.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you haven't done anything in 2 weeks. You haven't even left the tent."

"Yeah I have," he told her.

"Leaving the tent to go to the bathroom doesn't count. Besides, you have Claire. Claire has been bringing you lunch and dinner. Do you know how nice that is?"

"I'm sorry," Sawyer whispered. "I just-I'm so tired."

"I know...Claire told me that when people are sad they're tired, but guess what...I'm sad too. She was my mom. I cry every night. And every night I wish she could tuck me in and kiss me goodnight and tell me a stupid bedtime story. But Aaron and Steven are my best friends, so they help me...and Claire can-"

"Stop," he stated. "I don't want anyone's help."

"Grow up," she said. "I'm only 7 dad. I want my mommy back...but I have to leave this damn tent every once and a while so my friends can help me get back to normal."

"Don't say damn," he mumbled.

"Don't try to replace mom, because you'll never be her," she scoffed.

"I'm not trying to be her," he sighed. "I just know she doesn't like you swearing."

"Damn isn't a swear word dad. Shi-" she began.

"Don't," he warned.

"Whatever," she sighed. "So I was wondering if I could sleep in Aaron's tent tonight. Stevie, Aaron and me want to have a sleep over."

"It's been 2 weeks since your mom died," he started.

"No," she put her fingers in her ears.

"Don't you think we should keep what's left of this family-"

"La la la," she started humming loudly. "I don't want to! I want to get back to normal!"

"Julie it's never going to be normal," he said quietly. "It's going to be horrible for the next few months. I just-"

"Hey!" she yelled. "I know it's going to be bad dad, I just don't want to waste any more time crying about it. OR talking about it. And since when did you start opening up to people. You never talk about your feelings. You just sit in here staying away from everyone...and you don't even cry."

"Fine," he shook his head. "Go sleep in Claire's tent tonight. I don't care what you do."

"Good," she said. She left the tent almost angerly. He knew that she was right. He had spent the past 7 days in the tent. Claire had been the best person ever by bringing him food and taking Austin when she knew that he just needed time alone. No sooner was he thinking about it, did she come into the tent.

"Do you want company?" she asked quietly. She was holding two bowls of food. Austin and Sarah were trailing right behind her. He smiled weakly and Austin jumped on to his lap.

"See you later then," Claire responded, not getting an answer from Sawyer. She took Sarah by the hand and started leaving.

"No," he shook his head. "Stay. Thanks."

"No problem," she smiled. "You're doing much better than I was."

"But you had all those weird pregnancy hormones makin' you a nut job," he said, softly letting out a small chuckle. Sarah was eating some fruit with her hands. She looked up at Claire and Sawyer curiously.

"As cliche as it sounds Sawyer," Claire began. She looked down at Sarah and brushed her hand across Sarah's hair. "It does get better. It gets easier. A year from now, you won't know how you got through it, but you will. You'll get through the year and think 'Wow...I made it.' And then you'll think 'A year went by quickly.'

That night Sawyer was trying to get to sleep. Even though he was exhausted and he had spent the past week in the tent 'sleeping', he had never actually gotten a good nights sleep. Every night he would fall asleep and dream of Kate. His dreams always woke him up completely and he wasn't able to get back to sleep, and back into the dream that he so desperately wanted to be reality. He kept wishing that the past 2 weeks had been a dream, and he would wake up with Kate next to him.

"Daddy," he heard Julie's sobbing voice.

"Julie," he whispered. "You ok?"

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, and fell into his arms. "I can't do this."

"What?" he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"I miss her," she answered. "I'm never leaving the tent. I don't want to pretend that everything is ok anymore...because it's not ok."

"Shh," he whispered. He pulled her into a hug. "It is ok. It's going to be ok. Claire was telling me that it gets better."

"Aaron seems ok," she replied. "But Desmond wasn't his dad."

"Julie," he began. "Yes he was. Desmond was the only dad that Aaron ever knew."

"Ok," she nodded. "I don't want to talk about Desmond. I want to talk about mommy."

The pair of them spent the next half hour or so talking about Kate. Sawyer didn't really want to, but since Julie asked him to he did.

**_1 year later_**

Over the year Julie and Sawyer both had their good moments and bad. Claire was right...it did start getting better. He didn't miss her any less, but he started coming to terms with it. He started talking about Kate a lot, so that Austin would always know about her. Julie would tell Austin stories about Kate too. Every so often he would hear Julie crying at night. He didn't cry. He wouldn't let himself cry. Every so often he would think about her, and get choked up or his eyes would water, but he never cried.

Julie was now 8. She and Sawyer argued about everything. They would have arguements pretty much every day. Most of the time about stupid things, and the arguments would only last a few minutes. They would always laugh it off when they realized they were arguing yet again. They made up quickly. Neither one of them liked to fight with each other, and they knew that if Kate was still here they wouldn't fight as much as they did. Even though their fights were most of the time nothing, sometimes they would say things to really hurt one another. Julie would bring up Kate which would only piss Sawyer off and she knew it.

One day Sawyer and Julie were arguing as usual. This time it was extremely public and it was an all out screaming war. Julie wanted to go camping in the jungle with Aaron and Steven, but Sawyer wouldn't allow her to. It started out ok, but escalated quickly.

"Why not?!" she yelled. "Aaron, and Steven get to go!"

"Well I guess Aaron and Steven have better parents than you do," Sawyer spat.

"I don't have parents!" Julie screamed. "I have a dad...and if you ask me not a very good one. I hate you!"

"Fine!" he exclaimed. "You know what? I hate you too!"

"I wish Desmond was my dad!" she said just as loudly as ever, this time with tears forming in her eyes.

"Desmond is dead!" he screamed.

"Well I wish you were instead of mommy!" she yelled and sobbed.

"I'm sorry! The wrong parent died!" he asked. "Maybe if you close your eyes really tight you'll get your wish!"

She closed her eyes tightly. "I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!" she screamed at the top of her voice.

"Fine! I wish you were dead too!" he screamed back. He couldn't stop himself from saying it. Of course it wasn't true, he just snapped. He couldn't believe the words that had just come out of his mouth. He put his hand up as if trying to push the words back into his throat, but the damage had been done. He had said to his daughter that he wished she was dead.

She gave him a shocked look and ran down the beach. He could tell she was now sobbing. She was heading for the grave yard.

"Julie!" he exclaimed. "No! I'm sorr-"

He ran after her and grabbed her by the wrist.

"No!" she yelled. "Let me go! I hate you! I hate you! And you hate me to so leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry," he said again this time quietly. "I love you so much Julie. You're my whole world now."

"No! Get off of me," she sobbed hitting him with her fists.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I love you. Please forgive me. I don't wish that you were dead. I never should have said that. I wish it was me. I miss her so much."

She looked up at him frowning, and saw that Sawyer was crying too. She had never seen him cry. She didn't even see him cry when Kate died. He always tried to be strong. He never let anyone cry except occasionally Kate, and even then he never admitted it. Julie wrapped her arms Sawyer.

"I don't wish it was you either daddy," she sniffled. "I miss her too. I just want her to hug me goodnight. Sometimes I dream that she does, and then I realize that it's not real."

"I know," he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I dream about her too darlin'."

"Daddy?" she sobbed and looked up at him.

"Yeah?" he asked touching her face gently with his hand.

"Did she love Austin more?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "No. She loved you both so much."

"But you tell him all the time how she wanted him so badly. All she wanted was a little boy," she said, still crying.

"She did want a little boy," he answered. "But you're her first born. She loved you so much. She loved you all the way to the stars."

"I want her back," she sobbed. "I don't understand."

"I know, I don't understand either," he picked her up and carried her back down to the tent.

"Sawyer can Julie play?" Aaron asked coming up to them.

"In a little bit. Julie is not feeling well right now."

"Why not?" Aaron asked. "What's wrong Julie?"

"I miss my mommy," she said sadly.

"I'm sorry," he answered. "Me and Stevie love you though."

"Thanks," she wiped her eyes and forced a small smile.

"See ya later Aaron," Sawyer stated. When Sawyer went into the tent he had forgotten that Austin was taking his nap.

"Daddy!" Austin exclaimed.

"Austin!" he exclaimed, faking his excitement. "When did you wake up?"

"You and Julie loud," he answered.

"Well I can't argue with you there," Sawyer bent down and picked up the three year old.

"Julie ok?" Austin asked.

"Yeah," Julie answered. "I'm ok. Sorry I woke you up."

"Daddy loud," he replied pointing at Sawyer. Sawyer shrugged his shoulders and nodded.

"Sorry," Sawyer said. "Why don't we go down to the water?"

"Ok," Austin nodded. "Saywa come?"

"Yeah we can ask if Sarah can come," Sawyer said. "Go find Claire. I'm gonna talk to your sister for a minute."

"Ok daddy," Austin bounced out of the tent and ran down the beach to where Claire was making a sand castle with Sarah. Austin sat down with them and started to help them. Sawyer laid down next to where Julie was and put his hand on her face.

"I'm sorry daddy," she said quietly. "I'm just mad."

"I know you are," he answered. "But I don't want you going into the jungle without an adult. What if the smoke monster comes? I don't want to lose you the same way that I lost your mama."

"That's not why I'm mad," she frowned. "I'm mad at mom and that makes me mad at myself."

"Why are you mad at mom?" he asked.

"Because she left us," she answered. "And Austin will never know her. I just-why did she have to die?"

The little girl started crying again. Sawyer choked back his own tears, trying to be brave for his daughter. He wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't know," he whispered. He coughed slightly on the large lump in his throat.

"Daddy?" she asked.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Am I a wimpy girl?" she asked.

"What gives you that idea?" he questioned

"Aaron said that boys don't cry," she told him. "Only wimpy girls.

"Well that's not true," he shook his head. "Your brother cries all the time when you hit him or when he hurts himself."

"But he doesn't count. He's still little," she replied. "And he's a wimp."

"And mom cried a lot too," he replied. "She definitely wasn't a wimp. I can tell you another thing. When mommy died Sayid and Hurley cried. And they're boys right?"

"Did you cry?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded sadly. "I loved your mom so much. I would have done anything to keep her here forever."

"Would you have died?" she questioned.

"In a milisecond," he replied.

"How about if it were me?" she asked.

"Of course," he told her. "Sweetie I love you and your brother more than anything."

"I love you daddy," she said hugging him tighter.

"I love you too darlin'," he whispered.

"To the stars?" she asked.

"To the stars and back," he replied.

"Can I go play with Aaron now?" she inquired.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Is my face all puffy and red, like I've been crying."

"No," he shook his head. "You look like an angel."

"Dad!" she exclaimed. "Don't get all gushy, it's weird."

"Ok," he nodded. "You look like you're a macho girl, that doesn't know the meaning of tears."

She smiled and started leaving the tent.

"Remember, your butt better stay on the beach" he told her.

"Ok," she half groaned. "Aaron!" she yelled down the beach.

Sawyer closed his eyes. Kate had been gone a year. The year was a rough one, but he got through it, just like Claire said he would...it was also a quick year. The first couple months were the longest, but after that it got easier. Kate had left him alone with their two kids. Kids that she wanted so badly. It was true that Sawyer loved the kids more than anything, but he definitely wasn't expecting to ever be a father, let alone a single father. When he had found out about Kate being pregnant the first time, he didn't want to think about being a dad. Part of him wished it had never happened. When he found out that pregnant women died on the island he didn't want it to be real. He wanted to forget all about it and not believe a word of it. Then both Kate and Julie almost did die. He didn't realize how much he wanted a kid until she almost died. He was so afraid of what might happen the second time that she gave birth. Sawyer remembered sitting with Kate holding her hand. He remembered the day like it was yesterday. It was only 3 years ago. Sawyer couldn't believe that a year had gone by so fast since Kate died. Since Kate's death he dreamed of Kate almost every night. Every night he would save her, and some nights he wouldn't have to. He took a deep breath when he heard Austin outside of the tent.

"Daddy!" Austin's voice came. "Caire and Saywa are ready! And Awon and Julie are fighting."

He sighed and sat up. He had been getting ready for the tears that were beginning to come into his eyes, but they went away immediately when he heard Austin's voice. He walked out of the tent and saw Julie and Aaron standing in front of each other yelling back and forth.

"He wasn't really your dad!" Julie screamed. Steven was standing next to Julie. His jaw dropped and he tried to pull Julie away from Aaron, but had no luck. She jerked her arm away from him and stepped toward Aaron again.

"Yes he was!" Aaron yelled back. "My dad's better than your dad ever will be!"

"Nuh uh!" she exclaimed and she went to lunge at him. She was always smaller than Aaron, and she always blamed it on being a premie and the fact that she was 7 months younger. Even though she was smaller, Sawyer would bet all his life that she could win in a fight against Aaron. Claire and Sawyer ran to their kids and pulled them away from each other.

"Julie Ford, what is going on?" Sawyer asked.

"She told me that Desmond wasn't really my dad," Aaron said frowning.

"Julie," Sawyer sighed. "Desmond was Aaron's dad. He may not have been his biological father, but he was the closest thing Aaron had to it. Aaron called him daddy."

"What happend Aaron?" Claire asked. "And you better not lie to me?"

"Well Julie came out here and I told her I was sorry that she missed her mom," Aaron began. "I told her that I missed Kate too. But it's been a year. And I miss dad and I always will, but sometimes you just have to get over it."

"Aaron," Claire sighed. "I know that you still miss dad. Right?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Ok then," she replied. "Julie will always miss Kate. Some days will be better than others. Today is just a bad day."

"Do you even know what tomorrow is Aaron? OR did you forget?" Julie asked. "Because if you forgot then you didn't care at all about my mom." She had tears streaming down her face. Her face also had dirt covering it. It reminded Sawyer of Kate when she was in the cages. She was almost a spitting image of Kate, right down to the freckles that sprinkled her nose and cheeks.

"I know," he nodded. "Tomorrow is the aniversary. One year exactly. I'm sorry Juju."

"I'm sorry too," she said. "Desmond was your dad."

The two of them hugged. Steven rolled his eyes and stepped toward the two. The three of them hugged each other. Steven wiped the tears from Julie's face and smiled at her.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sniffled.

"Ju," Steven started. "I have an idea."

He whispered something in her ear and moments later Julie, Aaron, and Steven were standing in the surf 'sinking'. Julie was smiling at Aaron as he took her hand in his. Austin was running down to the water holding Sarah's hand, with Claire running after them. Claire and Sawyer spent a lot of time together so that their kids could play, but mostly so they could comfort each other silently. Sawyer was beginning to like her, but he didn't want to. He felt guilty that he was starting to have feelings for her. Claire was looking towards where he was standing, smiling. He smiled back and headed to where she was.

"You ok?" she mouthed. He nodded and followed her down to where their kids were playing.

"That was the worst fight yet," he whispered. "I mean me and Julie's."

"Yeah," she nodded. "You shouldn't have yelled that Sawyer...it really upset me, Sarah, and Aaron."

"Oh sh-," he closed his eyes. "I screamed 'Desmond's dead'."

"Yeah," she replied.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I was just so pissed...and Julie was saying that she wished that Desmond was her dad."

"Oh I know," she smirked. "The entire camp knows what both of you said to each other. You guys are loud."

"Sorry," he said again.

"It's ok," she answered. "I know it's tough. And I also haven't forgotten what tomorrow is. You and Julie are extra sensitive this week. I totally get it."

"I miss her," he whispered. "She didn't get to see the last year of the kids life."

"Yes she did," she said. "Remember what you told me? I'm sure she's in heaven with Desmond. They're both looking after both of our families."

"Ok," he nodded. "Then it sucks that the kids didn't get to see her."

"She loved you," she stated. "Kate...she loved you more than anything."

"No," he shook his head. "She loved the kids more than anything. I was second."

"Well none the less, she loved you," she answered. "I think she just wanted you to know that every day."

"I did know," he nodded. "I do know."

They both looked back into the water where their kids were playing in the water. Every afternoon when the kids would play in the water Sawyer and Claire would sit on the sand watching them. Sawyer insisted that Austin and Sarah were going to end up together. Claire looked over at Sawyer and sighed. Most of the time she had no idea what to say. She had lost Desmond, and when that happened she wanted nothing to do with anyone. Her pregnancy hormones were going crazy and all she wanted to do is cry. Kate and Sawyer had both helped her through it. They helped out all they could with Aaron. Kate would hang out with Claire in the silence...but just her being there was enough.

Claire had started having feelings for him about 4 months after Desmond died. Kate was still alive. She was getting ready to give birth to Sarah, and Kate was pregnant with Austin. She knew that Sawyer would never leave Kate. He was completely in love with Kate. Claire also knew that it was way too soon for her to get involved with anyone. And who could forget the day that Sarah and Austin were born. Sawyer and Kate both stayed with her and held her hands. When Kate had to leave. He stayed right with her and made sure that she was ok. She didn't expect that of him, even though she had asked him to. Kate had gone to get sick, and she half wanted him to go after her so that she could assure herself that she'd never have a chance with Sawyer. After Sarah was born Sawyer did leave, she remembered that too. But she also remembered him kissing her cheek.

Claire reached over and took Sawyer's hand in hers. She felt him flinch slightly, but he let her hold his hand. She gave it a warm squeeze, telling him that she would be there for him. He looked at her and gave her a small smile. He was definitely falling for her.

**A/N: Now I could totally keep going, but I would need at least 3 people to tell, me to keep going. So review and let me know if this should be the end, or if I should keep going.**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: OK so I only got one review, but I decided to do one more chapter anyway. So this is the last chapter. I hope everyone enjoyed my story. Thanks for reading it!**

Sawyer took his hand back from Claire and gave her a weak smile. They stared at each other for about 30 seconds, almost completely forgetting about the kids. They both heard screams and looked. Sawyer was on his feet and running into the water. A large wave had come and knocked both kids over. Austin was sitting in the water crying. Sarah was pulled back under the water. Sawyer helped Austin to his feet and pointed him toward the shore. Sawyer grabbed Sarah before she was pulled under again. He picked her up and held her. Claire had run in after Sawyer and grabbed Sarah from him. She was crying and choking on the water that had gotten into her mouth.

"You're ok," he whispered, patting her on the back.

"Daddy, hold me," Austin requested holding his arms out. Sawyer bent down and picked him up. The two adults walked out of the water and sat down in the sand with their kids. Claire was crying now too.

"She's ok," Sawyer assured her.

"I know," Claire sniffled. "But she-Sawyer I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

She said it so quickly that Sawyer didn't know what she was talking about. He moved Austin from off of his lap and set him in the sand next to him.

"Daddy!" Austin exclaimed.

"Go bug you sister," he said.

"Ok!" Austin answered happily. He stood up and ran towards where the bigger kids were playing.

"What do you mean?" Sawyer asked.

"I don'-forget it," she replied. "It doesn't matter."

"Clara, we're not gonna get anywhere if you don't tell me what the hell you're talkin' about," he stated.

"You never tell me what you're feeling so why should I tell you?" she asked.

"We ain't talkin' about me," he responded. "We're talkin' about you. And you love to spill your guts, so go ahead."

"I-I can't stop thinking about you," she whispered. "I know it sounds so dumb, but you're such a good dad, and you love Sarah and Aaron, and I just-I think-"

"You fallin' for me blondie?" he asked jokingly.

"I can't talk about this," she muttered. She stood up and took Sarah with her.

"Dad!" Julie yelled. He let out another deep breath and looked down the beach.

"Huh?" he asked, walking toward her.

"Austin won't leave us alone," she whined.

"Austin, are you buggin' your sister?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," he replied with a nod.

"Good," Sawyer smiled.

"Hey!" Julie yelled. She tried pushing against Sawyer, but he didn't move. Instead he moved toward both kids and started chasing them into the water. He dunked Julie under the water.

"Aaron, Steven help me get him!" she yelled when she resurfaced. The two boys came running toward Sawyer and jumped on him. With Julie's help they were able to take him down partially, but then he jumped up and threw all the kids off of him.

"He's like the incredible hurk!" Steven said excitedly.

"That's hult Steven," Aaron corrected.

"You're both wrong, it's hulk," Julie replied. "Right dad?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "That's right."

"Ok, you're goin' down now!" she yelled. "Austin get his feet!"

Austin attempted to grab his dad's feet, but they were too big for his hands. All the kids moved Sawyer deeper and were able to dunk him under the water.

"You better run!" he exclaimed. All the kids screamed in delight. They chased each other, tickled each other, and dunked each other under the water for the next 20 minutes. Austin tried his best to join in, but a lot of the time he got in the way or knocked over.

Claire went back to her own tent to sit with Sarah. Sarah had calmed down, but kept repeating 'no more water'. Claire didn't want to watch Sawyer playing with the kids, but when she heard Aaron's laughter she watched. She sat and watched as Sawyer played with all the kids. He was so natural. She knew very well that he never really wanted to be a dad, but she just didn't know why...he was so great with kids of all ages.

"I play too!" Austin yelled after being pushed out of the way by Julie.

"Ok!" Julie exclaimed.

"Be careful Julie."

"He's fine," she stated as she picked him up and threw him into a wave. He resurfaced and was crying.

"Oh he's fine," Julie repeated. Sawyer went over to the three year old and picked him up.

"Owie daddy!" Austin held out his arm, which was bleeding. Sawyer examined it.

"Way to go Julie, he's bleeding," Sawyer stated.

"Sorry," she scoffed. Sawyer didn't think she sounded very sorry, but he ignored it. He looked to where Austin had resurfaced, to see what he had hurt his arm on. He reached his hand into the water and pulled out a particularly sharp looking rock. It was nothing too serious, so Sawyer let out a breath and carried Austin toward his tent.

"Where we going daddy?" Austin asked.

"We're going to get you a bandage for your arm," Sawyer answered. He put Austin down and started looking for something to wrap around Austin's arm. He found the gause. He didn't know what to put on the wound to clean it so he just used a near by water bottle. He wrapped his arm up and took him by the hand to walk back down the beach.

"More water?" Austin asked.

"Not today," Sawyer said. "You're hurt. You don't want the sharks to come get you!"

Sawyer reached out and tickled Austin's sides. Austin began to laugh and pushed Sawyer away.

Claire was watching Aaron, trying her best not to look over at Sawyer and Austin. She had made such a fool out of herself. She wished that she never said anything.

"Mommy?" Sarah asked.

"Yes baby," Claire said looking down at Sarah.

"Me play with Sayer?" Sarah asked.

"Sure," Claire nodded.

"You come too," she took Claire by the hand and tried to drag her with her.

"Not right now," she shook her head. "Mommy's too tired."

"You come too!" Sarah demanded.

"Fine," Claire sighed. She didn't want to argue with a three year old...especially when she knew that she would lose. she walked with Sarah over to where Sawyer and Austin were sitting.

"Hey," she whispered. "Sarah wanted to come-"

"I'm-" Sawyer started. "I miss Kate."

"I know," she nodded.

"No," he shook his head. "You didn't let me finish. I miss her. I feel extremely guilty because even though I loved her so much, and I'll never stop loving her...there's someone else. Someone who has been the best friend that I could ever ask for on this damn rock."

Claire leaned forward and put her forehead against Sawyer's.

"No," he whispered. "I don't know what I want Claire. I don't know what I'm feeling even...all I know is that I don't want either of my kids thinking that I have forgotten about their mom."

"Yeah," she backed away. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he replied.

The next day Sawyer woke up to movement in the tent. He opened his eyes and sat up. Julie was going through Sawyer's stash frantically trying to find something.

"What are you doin'?" he whispered.

"Where's Are You There God, It's Me Margaret?" she asked.

"I dunno," he half groaned.

"I need it!" she yelled.

"Don't wake your brother up," he whispered. "Why do you need it?"

"You're dumb," she scoffed.

"Julie," he closed his eyes. "I'm really not in the mood for arguing. We're having a memorial later today for mom, and I just-why do you need the damn book?"

"I'm gonna read it to her," she replied quietly. "She said that she loved to hear me read so I'm gonna read her the whole book today. I don't care if I lose my voice."

"Lemme come with you," he mumbled. He helped Julie find the book and walked with her to the graveyard. On the way there he had asked Claire if she would watch Austin. She said she would. He and Julie sat down in front of Kate's grave. Sawyer took Julie by the hand and she started reading. They had been reading for about 30 minutes and suddenly Julie burst into tears. She threw the book down and ran into the jungle. Sawyer ran after her.

"Come on!" Julie screamed. "Where are you?! You don't like little girls is that it! Well I'm part of her!"

"Julie," Sawyer said quietly. "What are you doin'?"

"That dumb monster killed mom...why did it disappear after she died? I just want it to come get me."

"No," he whispered. "No you don't."

"Yes I do," she nodded. "I just want to see mommy again."

"Well I know that mommy wouldn't want you to die. And I don't know what I would do without you," he said.

"That's easy," she started. "You could just start a new family with Claire and forget all about me and mommy."

"No," he shook his head. "That would never happen. I could never ever forget about you and mommy."

"You already did," she sobbed. Sawyer picked her up and carried her back out of the jungle. She was almost getting to the point of being too big for him to carry her, but he was able to. He sat down and held her on his lap.

"I love you and your mom so much," he whispered into her ear. "Every single day I miss your mom. You have to know that."

"Then how come you kissed Claire yesterday?" she asked.

"I didn't kiss her," he replied. "But I do really like her. She's my friend."

"I don't believe you," she answered.

"Fine," he said. "You don't have to believe me, but don't go tellin' Austin that I didn't love mommy, because that IS a lie. I don't want you tellin' Austin anything for that matter."

"I just want to be alone with mom, is that ok with you?" she asked.

"As long as you don't go running into the jungle searching for that black bastard."

"Daddy," she said. "Don't swear."

He smiled at her and gave her a kiss on the top of the head. She hugged him tightly, telling him that she believed him and still loved him.

Later that night Sawyer had gone to be by himself at Kate's grave. He looked down the beach to make sure no one was watching him. He put a small flower on Kate's grave.

"Tell me what to do Freckles," he whispered. "I don't know if it's ok for me to like her or not. Tell me what to do."

"She would want you to be happy," Sayid said behind him.

"Jeez, Mohammed," Sawyer gasped. "Do you have to be so sneaky?"

"I did not mean to frighten you," he replied. "I just came to pay my respects."

"Well, I'm goin' to bed," Sawyer answered. "G'night."

"Good night Sawyer," Sayid nodded.

Sawyer walked back up to the tent and ducked inside. Both the kids were sleeping. Julie had the book resting on her chest. He took the book from her hands gently, without waking her up, and put it down. He kissed Julie on the cheek and brought her blanket around her. He then covered up Austin and gave him a kiss too. He laid down himself, still wishing that someone was there to kiss him goodnight.

_He was walking down the beach holding hands with Claire. The waves washed up on their feet. Claire was smiling widely...a smile that was contagious._

_"Sawyer," Kate said quietly. Sawyer let go of Claire's hand and turned towards Kate. She wrapped her arms around him. "I want you to be happy. I'll always love you James...you should be happy."_

Sawyer opened his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'll always love you too Freckles," he whispered.

**_THE END_**

**A/N: Pleaaase review once more**.


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